I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

fuji · Mar 26, 2011

Told crazy girl Ill see her once every couple of weeks to check on her. I'm leaving in 6 months so its alright and I'll just phase out how often I see her until I leave for uni. I still care about her and I really don't want her to hurt herself or kill herself so I think this is a good compromise. She's trying to get a job now too so hopefully she will have stabalised by the time I leave for uni.

Dakota rube · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by Matt

"then I guess you'll see this tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed your Saturday."

This.
And, I'd go to the show without her if I were you. Don't punish yourself.

MarkI · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

This.
And, I'd go to the show without her if I were you. Don't punish yourself.

Oh of course, when I told her yesterday we would still go, I knew that I would cancel on her anyway. I'm playing games, yes, but **** that.

I'm going out tonight, gonna have a good time, did that last night as well. Living my life.

MarkI · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

Just take a step back buddy. Seriously. A few days with no contact whatsoever can only be for the best.

+1

Nil · Mar 26, 2011

MarkI, stop having plans and strategies for this girl. Don't try to figure out how to best get one up on her. Stop playing games. Be mature about it. Just tell her it's too difficult to talk to her right now and that you need your space. Ask her to respect that and then respect it your damn self.

mellowfellow · Mar 26, 2011

I haven't been home on a saturday in 6 years! So depressed right now. I think i'm gonna take a walk in soho and buy myself something nice.

HgaleK · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by MarkI

Oh of course, when I told her yesterday we would still go, I knew that I would cancel on her anyway. I'm playing games, yes, but **** that.

I'm going out tonight, gonna have a good time, did that last night as well. Living my life.

You're just being antagonistic with the games dude. I don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but that sort of thing is just going to drive her away feeling bitter about what an ass you were.

Not picking up the phone when she called was supposed to ensure that she really takes the time to think about whether life without you was a good choice. Telling her yes and then bailing like that lets her know that she made the right choice when she asked for a break. You could have told her that you need some space when you went to cancel. If you weren't going to go in the first place, you could have told her you "no" and that you needed some time and space to figure out what to do about the whole situation.

MarkI · Mar 26, 2011

Thats true, but she hasnt officially called it quits either, and she ******* wont.

This really sucks.

I guess the only thing I can do is sit tight.

APK · Mar 26, 2011

Then YOU call it quits. Contrary to what George Costanza had us believing, a breakup doesn't need both parties to turn their keys to be official.

Stop stringing each other along, break off contact for a bit, and go find some new hobbies. It's not easy, but it is that simple at the root of the issue.

This isn't a game of Stretego. Right now, all of your analyzing and strategy building is only doing two things:

1) driving you crazy
2) setting up a scenario that makes you the asshole ex boyfriend a girl tells her next boyfriend about

Synthese · Mar 26, 2011

Agreed. Stop trying to win the breakup and start trying to get your **** together. You're going to checkmate the **** out of yourself.

HgaleK · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by MarkI

Thats true, but she hasnt officially called it quits either, and she ******* wont.

This really sucks.

I guess the only thing I can do is sit tight.

Do you know what you want to happen with the relationship?

MarkI · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by APK

Then YOU call it quits. Contrary to what George Costanza had us believing, a breakup doesn't need both parties to turn their keys to be official.

Stop stringing each other along, break off contact for a bit, and go find some new hobbies. It's not easy, but it is that simple at the root of the issue.

This isn't a game of Stretego. Right now, all of your analyzing and strategy building is only doing two things:

1) driving you crazy
2) setting up a scenario that makes you the asshole ex boyfriend a girl tells her next boyfriend about

Well thats exactly what i'm going to do now, just breaking off contact for now.

Originally Posted by Synthese

Agreed. Stop trying to win the breakup and start trying to get your **** together. You're going to checkmate the **** out of yourself.

I am trying to get my **** together, its a lot easier said than ******* done. I know it sounds completely bitchlike, but I feel lonely, I miss her, I want to continue to experience new things with her, dont really want to go on by myself. I know I HAVE too, but I dont want too.

Originally Posted by HgaleK

Do you know what you want to happen with the relationship?

Yes, I would like for us to get back together, with all of our issues resolved, which is what I told her would happen, and she said she trusts me, but continues to say she doesn't know if she can be in a relationship right now.

kungapa · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by MarkI

Well thats exactly what i'm going to do now, just breaking off contact for now.

Didn't you say that before but fail? This time, be sure to keep it at least a month. You might find at the end of the month that you don't actually have any desire to contact her again.

MarkI · Mar 26, 2011

All you guys who are advocating for breaking off contact, do you mean to simply ignore her if she texts/calls?

HgaleK · Mar 26, 2011

Originally Posted by MarkI

Yes, I would like for us to get back together, with all of our issues resolved, which is what I told her would happen, and she said she trusts me, but continues to say she doesn't know if she can be in a relationship right now.
When did yall have the conversation? How did the stunt you pulled with the show advance your cause? You've mirrored almost everything wrong I did with my last breakup, which happened in fairly similar circumstances. It's not a good idea. It's a miserable experience that is self perpetuated. You don't have to say it's over, it doesn't have to be over, there doesn't have to be closure at this point. Right not just don't pick up the ******* phone. Don't text, don't call, don't drink enough that you'll be tempted to do either. If you do contact her again, I can give you a play by play of the next 7-20 days. It'll be dead on too. Edit: just to be clear it won't be pleasant either

I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

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