Job Referenced:Ethical Question

Rugger · Dec 27, 2010

OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?

SpooPoker · Dec 27, 2010

Is it confidential?

Harold falcon · Dec 27, 2010

If he's a friend I would simply choose not to complete the recommendation. Don't give him a bad recommendation, and don't lie and give him a good one, just forget to send back the paperwork. It's the only way to come out of this.

Rugger · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by SpooPoker

Is it confidential?

Ya, it is confidential.

Robert Evans · Dec 27, 2010

Loyalty comes first. You ain't much of a friend if you don't help him get the job and maybe better his life. Who cares what some stranger thinks of you. Help your friend.

deadly7 · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Rugger

OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?

If he gets hired and ***** it up it will look very badly on you. If he gets hired and makes the company 300 billion dollars in 24 hours, you'll look like a god. If you think he leans more toward the former instead of the latter, then find a way to discreetly give him bad marks without him finding out it was you.

brown eyes · Dec 27, 2010

If it were my friend, I'd write two recommendations, one positive and one neutral/negative.

But before I send the recommendation, I'd sit down with him and talk to him about why I'm doing it. Next I'd tell him, as his friend, that he cannot cut corners, or lie or think about stealing. Then I wait to see what he has to say. If his answer satisfies me, I will send the positive and tear up the neutral/negative one in front of him.

Robert Evans · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by brown eyes

If it were my friend, I'd write two recommendations, one positive and one neutral/negative.

But before I send the recommendation, I'd sit down with him and talk to him about why I'm doing it. Next I'd tell him, as his friend, that he cannot cut corners, or lie or think about stealing. Then I wait to see what he has to say. If his answer satisfies me, I will send the positive and tear up the neutral/negative one in front of him.

Don't you think your friend would be offended that you are doing this? Just help him get the job and then it's out of your hands. No one is coming for you if he ***** up at the job.

Nouveau Pauvre · Dec 27, 2010

Haha your friend deserves this for picking you.

Don Carlos · Dec 27, 2010

Really depends on whether you're in tbe same industry as your friend, or whether you plan to have regular contact with the company to which he's applying. If yes to either or both, don't write the rec.

I like the idea of confronting your friend, being honest with him about your reservations, and asking him to promise not to **** up. But the whole "I wrote you a good and a bad rec" routine is just going to come across as holier-than-thou and will breed resentment.

Robert Evans · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Don Carlos

Really depends on whether you're in tbe same industry as your friend, or whether you plan to have regular contact with the company to which he's applying. If yes to either or both, don't write the rec.

I like the idea of confronting your friend, being honest with him about your reservations, and asking him to promise not to **** up. But the whole "I wrote you a good and a bad rec" routine is just going to come across as holier-than-thou and will breed resentment.

Absolutely and when your friends ask you for favors, it's sort of expected that you will do it as they would do it for you.

tj100 · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Rugger

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job.

Did he ask you first?

If he did ask you, and you agreed to be available for use as a reference, you need to follow through on your commitment. Which IMHO, is that you have not only to write a reference, but to write a positive reference.

If he did not ask you, but put you down on a form in a state of panic, then I think you have some leeway to decline to write it.

The easiest thing to do is probably to make a point that you have a strong friendship with this person, and then continue the reference - HR should see right through that and totally discount what you write.

trd6478 · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Rugger

OK, I already know the answer to this but I feel bad.

A friend of mine, whom I have known for a long time, used me as a reference for a job. That employer has called me and asked me to fill out some paperwork about him.

You can see where this is going. There are questions about his work ethic, dedication, trustworthiness, etc etc.

He would make a bad employee and I would not hire him. He cuts corners, lies, and wouldn't put stealing past him. He takes the least responsibility for his actions as he possibly can.

Should I feel bad about not recommending him?
you should know...

taxgenius · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by harvey_birdman

If he's a friend I would simply choose not to complete the recommendation. Don't give him a bad recommendation, and don't lie and give him a good one, just forget to send back the paperwork. It's the only way to come out of this.

+1

NH_Clark · Dec 27, 2010

Originally Posted by taxgenius69

+1

+10x

small world nowadays.. especially with the advent of the worlzwidezwebz. Things like this have a way of coming back and biting you in the a$$.

Job Referenced:Ethical Question

Distinguished Member

Internet Bigtimer and Most Popular Man on Campus

Stylish Dinosaur

Distinguished Member

Member

Distinguished Member

Senior Member

Member

Distinguished Member

In Time Out

Member

Senior Member

Well-Known Member

Distinguished Member

Distinguished Member

FEATURED PRODUCTS

Similar threads

Featured Sponsor

Yes, I have a signature fragrance I wear every day

Yes, I have a signature fragrance but I don't wear it daily

No, I have several fragrances and rotate through them

I don't wear fragrance

Forum Sponsors

Forum statistics

FOLLOW STYLEFORUM ON: