Thanks John Elliott!
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These quotes are very good, but I'm wondering if someone is just making them up.
"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
"I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing ******* makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' ******* umbrella in it"