People on Yelp: Why do you all suck?

[gomestar]

stupidity is one thing (like the morons above and their ***** meal), but even worse are those who think they're good writers and they like to "fancy it up" with their food critiques. This applies to far more than just yelp.

 

[Zachgranstrom]

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=OlZQBTdhjQLUjvzKV3Qc6g

I really hope this guy is just trolling on Yelp.

 

[foodguy]



stupidity is one thing (like the morons above and their ***** meal), but even worse are those who think they're good writers and they like to "fancy it up" with their food critiques. This applies to far more than just yelp.

one more good thing about yelp: it proves over and over again how hard it is to write well about food!

 

[imatlas]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060728074958AAg1ejP

Awesome.

ANY soup recipe will work. As long as you make it TODAY.

Awesome with awesome sauce.

 

[imatlas]



http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=OlZQBTdhjQLUjvzKV3Qc6g

I really hope this guy is just trolling on Yelp.

I think he's a Styleforum regular.

 

[RedLantern]



I think he's a Styleforum regular.

WHY . . . would you assume that?

 

[Bounder]



i don't know. yelp is an easy target because a) we're all SO much more sophisticated than the general public and b) the demo of yelp users tends to be weighted heavily toward people who are going out to eat for the first time. But yelp is really no different than reading the fit critiques on SF. everybody has a voice, and many of them are idiots. it's up to you to sort them out and choose whom you want to believe.

I don't think we are all so much more sophisticated but some of us are a little more, I don't know, thoughtful? Non-stupid? I don't mind genuine opinions so much even when I think they are obviously wrong. What gets to me are the reviews that assign stars based on totally random criteria that no one except the author could possibly care about. "I gave this restaurant one star because they put peanuts in their kung pao chicken and I am allergic to peanuts."

It's true that you can sort these out easily enough but to do that you actually have to read all the reviews and that's usually just too painful. And since, because of these kinds of reviews, the star ratings are assigned semi-randomly, they aren't even a very useful guide of where to start. Their motto ought to be

Yelp: There's a pony in here somewhere!

I have found urbanspoon to be marginally more useful but only marginally. For one thing, there are usually fewer reviews so there is less to wade through.

as opposed to "he's tying his shoes right over left instead of left over right"?

Hold on, there. Granny knots are objectively wrong. They just are.

 

[otc]



Hold on, there. Granny knots are objectively wrong. They just are.

Well, the granny knot is wrong. But you could start in either direction as long as you finish correctly.

The easiest check is: do the loops emerge out of the knot to the sides or to the top and bottom...if they aren't coming out the sides, you've got a granny on your hands (or feet as it may be).

 

[jet]

I do believe youtube commenters and yelpers are of the same ilk.

 

[Cary Grant]

^ and forum denizens

 

[FLMountainMan]



Well, the granny knot is wrong. But you could start in either direction as long as you finish correctly.

The easiest check is: do the loops emerge out of the knot to the sides or to the top and bottom...if they aren't coming out the sides, you've got a granny on your hands (or feet as it may be).

37 years old, and I had no idea I may be tying my shoes wrong.

 

[erictheobscure]

Scoping around for different places to eat near my girlfriend's place, stumbled upon this review written by someone who clearly goes out to eat once a year or so. Less funny than just sad.

Food: The food was really just OK. Nothing special, especially for the high cost and the hour long wait. We came here for Valentine's Day and ordered the special 4-course meal ($99 for a couple). My meal consisted of:
1) a butternut squash curry soup with creme fraiche and some crunchy fried things in it. 2) crab meat and avocado salad, which was served in a weird oversized wooden box/bowl. The taste of the salad was good, but the texture was mostly just mushy. 3) Chef's choice sushi and sashimi platter. Now this was a spectacle that would have been more appropriate for a catering service catering a large party (NOT for a one-person meal). That is not to say that there was way too much food but rather that the food was presented in an oversized, decorative plant bucket of ice. Literally, the waiter brought out a large plate with a few pieces of sushi and a large potted plant. The pot was filled with ice and on top of the ice was assorted sashimi, none of which was anything special in terms of taste. In fact, one of them was particularly not very good and seemed to dissolve in my mouth.
4) Dessert: gross creme brulee and a pretty good chocolate lava cake-type of thing with candy hearts on top. That was a nice touch. While we were waiting 30+ minutes for dessert to be brought out, the waiter came out and gave us a small box of chocolate hearts and a tacky decorative heart wand with a $2.99 price tag on it.

Overall, the bill was about $112 because of the meal and the $7 bottle of water that we were almost forced to order. Normally, when you get seated at a restaurant you expect to get some complimentary glasses of water. But about 5-10 minutes after we initially requested water, a different waiter came by and asked if we would like some sparkling water. We said "sure" and then he came out with a big fancy store-bought bottle of sparkling water, which was apparently $7. However, there is no beverage menu so we had no way of knowing what the restaurant had to offer in terms of beverages and of course how much anything would cost. Also, the restaurant is "BYOB."

Okay, that last bit is kind of funny.

 

[willy cheesesteak]

The Worst Yelp Photos Of NYC's Best Restaurants

 

[alexg]

Join this obnoxious 20-something Asian girl as she learns that Indian food shockingly doesn't smell and taste like ****. Riveting stuff. I especially enjoyed her need to point out she tipped "above 15%." If only everyone was as generous as Alexa N. Oh, and in case you were wondering what some of her other favorite restaurants are, she gave Cracker Barrel 4 stars as well...

 

[devastitis]



Join this obnoxious 20-something Asian girl as she learns that Indian food shockingly doesn't smell and taste like ****. Riveting stuff. I especially enjoyed her need to point out she tipped "above 15%." If only everyone was as generous as Alexa N. Oh, and in case you were wondering what some of her other favorite restaurants are, she gave Cracker Barrel 4 stars as well...

Give her a break. She's from Texas =p