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People on Yelp: Why do you all suck?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by kwilkinson, Jul 15, 2009.

  1. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

    Messages:
    33,650
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    Location:
    Chicago
    People on Yelp are sometimes so funny it's sad.
    Looking up a pretty decent place in Chicago, I came across these two comments:

    (1 * review)

    If you r a strange-o that feels good about overpaying for small portions and enjoy bad latin music, ______ is the place for u. We received 2 pebbles they called scallops for $8 as an appetizer and then our "meal" came and I was wondering how this place can justify charging the outrageous prices THEY DO, for the small portions they offer. I've never seen my gf finish an entire meal while we were on a date before(she's not a big eater), but ______ can now make that claim. If you're an average sized man and plan on going to _____, please make sure to schedule a trip to burger king afterwards to make sure you are properly fed for the evening. This place is perfect for anorexic women, but if you want to feel satisfied after spending $30 on some latin dish you've never heard of PLEASE AVOID _______.

    I dunno. Just struck me like a complete doucher. Especially considering that the restaurant is pretty decent and the portion sizes are seriously nothing to raise your nose at.

    Another, same place.
    (4 * review)

    A completely competent establishment. It really deserves 5 stars, but I did not enjoy the duck as much as I thought. Starting at the bar, great, friendly bartenders, mixing up great Mojitos and recommend beers from a list that focuses on Central and South America. Server was great. Attentive, friendly, always asking if we need more drinks. Food came quickly, and was well presented. My duck was expertly cooked. A fine dish, in and of itself. Just not what I was looking for that evening. My fault, not the restaurant.

    One visit to _____ and it's easy to see why this place is always packed on the weekend. It can offer something to everybody. A trendy, but unpretentious place that can cater to large groups or couples out for a romantic dinner. I'd definitely return


    So you think it deserves five stars, but you gave it four because you ordered a dish you weren't in the mood for, that you admit was expertly cooked? WTF?


    Responders: either continue with the pile-on of shitty yelpers or post your own shitty reviews for us to make fun of you.
     
  2. Flambeur

    Flambeur Senior member

    Messages:
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    Yeah, people are different and get angry or stupid about things that they see as important.

    OMG $8 small plate??? NO WAY!!!! You never see those prices at McDs, who do those pricks think they are?????
     
  3. nahneun

    nahneun Senior member

    Messages:
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    Obviously, the person who gave the 1 star review is really really fat and is only used to eating super sized portions, as is his girlfriend. Fat people generally think they're not as fat as they really are.
     
  4. Xericx

    Xericx Senior member

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    Los Angeles
    some people try too hard to be funny and witty and it makes them look like douchebags.
     
  5. robin

    robin Senior member

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    This is why restaurant and bar owners really hate yelp.
     
  6. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    Location:
    Texas
    some people try too hard to be funny and witty and it makes them look like douchebags.

    hay I resemble that remark.
     
  7. unjung

    unjung Senior member

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    Location:
    The beach
    But you can never get enough scallops. Unless they're the size of hockey pucks. Then you can get enough.
     
  8. gdl203

    gdl203 Senior member Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

    Messages:
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    Location:
    New York
    Most people don't know what's good. Restaurant reviews are one of these things for which I trust proper critics far more than signs of popularity (e.g. Zagat scores, difficulty to get a table, yelp reviews, etc...).
     
  9. unjung

    unjung Senior member

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    The beach
    Most people don't know what's good. Restaurant reviews are one of these things for which I trust proper critics far more than signs of popularity (e.g. Zagat scores, difficulty to get a table, yelp reviews, etc...).
    This is damn important. "Social media" and social help sites are a disaster in this area. Knowledge isn't a democratic process.
    IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

    TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags. Also the groupthink kills me.
     
  10. DNW

    DNW Senior member

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    Recession, Baby
    I look at yelp reviews for new restaurants. Obviously, take everything said with a bucket of salt. You can usually tell, however, if someone's a foodie, or some dickhead just trying to be witty.
     
  11. Xericx

    Xericx Senior member

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    May 24, 2008
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    Los Angeles
    i like yelp....at times. most reviews are kind of accurate.
     
  12. Piobaire

    Piobaire Senior member

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    Location:
    In My Douchemobile
    Knowledge isn't a democratic process.

    That is a great quote.
     
  13. Johnny_5

    Johnny_5 Senior member

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    In the woods
    Usually, If I see a review where people are complaining about pricing, separate checks, sharing plates and a decent restaurant I am confident that the person doesnt know good food.
     
  14. cchen

    cchen Senior member

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    Location:
    NYC / HK / London
    Usually, If I see a review where people are complaining about pricing, separate checks, sharing plates and a decent restaurant I am confident that the person doesnt know good food.

    +1
     
  15. vaclava krishna

    vaclava krishna Senior member

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    Perhaps because many, overweighted people with, conflicted self image are, on there.
     
  16. SField

    SField Senior member

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    That's like that one incredible review by this old moron from Pioria or some other backwater about his trip to Spiaggia with his wife.

    He wrote an ass ripping editorial about how it isn't an italian restaurant because almost every item was fish.

    I'm not joking, it's probably still there.
     
  17. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

    Messages:
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    sometimes the reviews written by the clueless can be just as helpful as those written by someone knowledgeable. it's just a matter of reading into them.
     
  18. jet

    jet Senior member

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    socal
    Kyle you read my fucking mind I just want to stab some of these self-appointed authorities on cuisine who are witless imbeciles with access to a computer and the internet. I don't know how many conversations I've had with friends about some of the reviews I've read.

    The best sushi spot in LA I go to somebody dumbed down the rating because "there was no scene" referring to hollywood or didn't have the "ambience of kat-suya". What a fucking idiot or how about dumb bitches who go out with their girlfriends who tried the "rainbow Laker roll YUM!"

    Goddam I'm angry right now just thinking about it.
     
  19. DNW

    DNW Senior member

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    Recession, Baby
    sometimes the reviews written by the clueless can be just as helpful as those written by someone knowledgeable. it's just a matter of reading into them.

    I can't stop staring the...umm...eyes of the girl in your avatar. [​IMG]
     
  20. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

    Messages:
    15,141
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Location:
    Waiting for Saturday to Come
    Kyle you read my fucking mind I just want to stab some of these self-appointed authorities on cuisine who are witless imbeciles with access to a computer and the internet. I don't know how many conversations I've had with friends about some of the reviews I've read.

    The best sushi spot in LA I go to somebody dumbed down the rating because "there was no scene" referring to hollywood or didn't have the "ambience of kat-suya". What a fucking idiot or how about dumb bitches who go out with their girlfriends who tried the "rainbow Laker roll YUM!"

    Goddam I'm angry right now just thinking about it.


    [​IMG]

    Any decent place in the Castro which tries to produce good food and charge for it are eviscerated by the queenies who live here but can't shake the influence that the podunk midwestern towns from which they came left on them. These reviewers somehow think that if a restaurant is not as cheap as the stand-up pizza joints, which you go to when you are drunk at 2:00 in the morning, then it is waaayyy overpriced.
     

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