Is it my job to provoke unpleasant self-examination?

[Dewey]

Here's some tips: don't write to complainers more than one time per day. And try to handle all such complaints at the same time every day -- say, first thing in the morning. This way you can handle all complaints with necessary advice. And you avoid getting into a lot of back-and-forth in which the complainer defends himself and generally acts pouty and dense.

Say what needs to be said and wait 24 hours before you respond to whatever whining the complainer shoots back in four minutes. This gives the person the time he needs to absorb the information he ignored or bitched about in your first email. And he will cool down considerably overnight.

Also be sure to quote in full whatever the person wrote to you. Make him re-read his own words. This should generate some sympathy for you; the person is more likely to embarrassed by his own behavior if he is confronted with his own words after he has had time to cool down about the situation.

And few wounded egos will continue to pout for more than two days, so this method should cut down on the time it takes for you to handle complaints.

 

[itsstillmatt]

Originally Posted by gdl203

Tell him to go shave his back !
who shaves the barbers?

 

[skalogre]

Originally Posted by iammatt

who shaves the barbers?

Easy!

http://www.razorba.com/

 

[LA Guy]

Hey!!! I thought that we were going to keep this between us

Fine, now I'm just going to have to ban hammer M@T and Brian. And maybe Brad, just because he's a godless Republican.

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by Dewey

Here's a tip: don't write to complainers more than one time per day. And try to handle all such complaints at the same time every day -- say, first thing in the morning. This way you can handle all complaints with necessary advice. And you avoid getting into a lot of back-and-forth in which the complainer defends himself and generally acts pouty and dense. Say what needs to be said and wait 24 hours before you respond to whatever whining the complainer shoots back in four minutes. This gives the person the time he needs to absorb the information he ignored or bitched about in your first email. And few wounded egos will continue to pout for more than two days, so this method should cut down on the time it takes for you to handle complaints.

One time per day? You have no idea how much of my day that would take up if I were to formulate gentle, reasonable responses for each and every poster with a complaint.

 

[j]

Yeah, I'm not even mentioning the amount of whining that I ignore because it would just encourage the person. I also receive pleas for reconsideration after many bannings, and after learning my lesson, I just don't respond to those in case the person turns out to be unstable.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

... just because he's a godless Republican.

See, now that's what the country needs. Republican without the god.

 

[itsstillmatt]

Serious question: are there really that many complaints? If so, I feel sorry for you guys as I don't think the board could be better moderated than it is.

Now, I have to go wash **** off of my nose.

 

[EL72]

Originally Posted by gdl203

Tell him to go shave his back !

The timing of this thread is hilarious.

To j's question: My advice is no. It's not your job to make people reflect on their obnoxiousness. You have virtually nothing to gain and potentially lots to lose.

 

[Thomas]

No, it's not your job.

I had a subordinate who never caught on to not being liked or respected or trusted. I think he took it as a sign of independence or authenticity, but it was really a swift path to unemployment. God knows I tried.

 

[Coho]

I think one's negative experience on any forum is a result of

1) taking others' comments too literally
2) taking oneself too seriously

I do neither of the above so I have a very good time wherever I visit. Many forummers throw roses of welcome where I go.

 

[j]

3) having a persecution complex
4) being able to (feeebly) dish it out while not taking it (see 1, 2, and 3)

 

[Quirk]

Jeezus. Neurotic moderators are such a pain **********. Delete this thread and we'll all just pretend it never happened.

 

[Huntsman]

There is a limit, as there ought to be, to discretion. It is better that they are told the cause of their difficulties; however, their acceptance is not something you should to deeply concern yourself with.

Who counsels the counselors? (may as well get on the wagon)

Regards,
Huntsman

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by gdl203

Tell him to go shave his back !

God has a hairy back?