Feel like I'm going nowhere in life

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by pokey07, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. aj_del

    aj_del Senior member

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    I also had a horrible day at work, and knowing that I'm going to be making $40k/year for the rest of my life made it doubly depressing.


    The feeling is not different is you are making 400K instead of 40K. Thats just an excuse you give yourself.
     


  2. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    Living life for your children only implies that there is no meaning to life without children. Moreover, is the entire point of our existence to breed, then?

    In a nutshell, pretty much. Biologically, at least.

    Camus would say you have two options upon realizing life is absurd (i.e. meaningless). Suicide, or acceptance. He vouches for acceptance - for choosing your own meaning. But in the very end, it is all a philosophical handjob. In the real world, we occupy ourselves with thoughts, people, and habits, to the point of not having any mental space for existential thought. It'll only creep up on you when you least expect it - in the mornings dragging yourself out of bed, or late at night, lying awake next to your sleeping wife when a sudden feeling of being trapped descends upon you.

    Camus was probably depressed, so why would you listen to him? But it's an interesting concept.
     


  3. mafoofan

    mafoofan THE FOO Dubiously Honored

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    Well, you're also only 24, and I assume the reason why you're working a dead-end job and living with your mother has something to do with the economy being the worst it's been since the Great Depression. While it's always worth reflecting on your life goals, keep things in perspective: many of us are in a similar rut and making it day-to-day is very much its own reward. Things will get better. You and I both have to believe that.
     


  4. aj_del

    aj_del Senior member

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    Living life for your children only implies that there is no meaning to life without children. Moreover, is the entire point of our existence to breed, then?

    In a nutshell, pretty much. Biologically, at least.

    Camus would say you have two options upon realizing life is absurd (i.e. meaningless). Suicide, or acceptance. He vouches for acceptance - for choosing your own meaning. But in the very end, it is all a philosophical handjob. In the real world, we occupy ourselves with thoughts, people, and habits, to the point of not having any mental space for existential thought. It'll only creep up on you when you least expect it - in the mornings dragging yourself out of bed, or late at night, lying awake next to your sleeping wife when a sudden feeling of being trapped descends upon you.

    Camus was probably depressed, so why would you listen to him? But it's an interesting concept.


    Interesting you should mention it, some nights when I am unable to sleep feel like smothering the wife and child and breaking free (though I have no idea what break free means). Feel even more frustrated knowing I will never have the balls to do it.
     


  5. Jekyll

    Jekyll Senior member

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    (though I have no idea what break free means).

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    I think it has something to do with the ghey[​IMG][​IMG]
     


  6. pokey07

    pokey07 Senior member

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    sorry to hear about your dad mate

    i think only the luckiest people know exactly what they want from life and head down that path effortlessly.

    the only thing to do is some deep soul searching. it sounds like you want to acheive something with your life so thats the first step. now the hard bit is figuring out what. be realistic abou what will make you happy and work hard towards acheiving it.

    this reads like some bullshit self help guide but i went through the same thing and came out the other side. i was a few years older than everyone i graduated with but knew what i was doing is what i wanted to do.

    good luck


    Thanks for the advice. I guess I have to figure out what I want from this life...

    The feeling is not different is you are making 400K instead of 40K. Thats just an excuse you give yourself.

    I imagine I could get a lot classier hookers on that salary though.

    Well, you're also only 24, and I assume the reason why you're working a dead-end job and living with your mother has something to do with the economy being the worst it's been since the Great Depression. While it's always worth reflecting on your life goals, keep things in perspective: many of us are in a similar rut and making it day-to-day is very much its own reward. Things will get better. You and I both have to believe that.

    The reason I'm working a dead-end job... some of it's because of the economy, some of it's because of my undergrad performance. Can't change that now though.

    And yes things will get better! I hope! Fuck!
     


  7. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    And yes things will get better! I hope! Fuck!


    Drink a lot and immerse yourself in cheap pussy. It is the only way.
     


  8. mafoofan

    mafoofan THE FOO Dubiously Honored

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    Camus is sort of an underdeveloped existentialist. Life is only absurd if we assume that pain and suffering retard happiness--to be precise, they only retard pleasure. If one is capable of the sort of psychological reprogramming that Camus suggests in order to accept absurdity, why not do one better and accept suffering as a positive experience? In doing so, we don't have to fight the logic that life is absurd, because it would no longer be absurd at all.

    Anyway, I don't see why a preoccupation with "thoughts, people, and habits" precludes existential affirmation.
     


  9. pokey07

    pokey07 Senior member

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    I think it has something to do with the ghey[​IMG][​IMG]


    haha, when I read that the first thing I thought was Chris Benoit.

    But the second thing was Queen.
     


  10. pokey07

    pokey07 Senior member

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    Drink a lot and immerse yourself in cheap pussy. It is the only way.

    I've got that down to a science.
     


  11. Henry Carter

    Henry Carter Senior member Affiliate Vendor

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    This is all rather saddening, for all of you guys feeling like this.

    One of my favourite quotes is from that of the dalai lama which is quite simple

    "I believe the true meaning of life is to find happiness"

    I have this written on my wall (a chalkboard wall) and look at it every morning. It very simple because if you are not happy, then you should look at why and try and do something about it.

    I'm not a particularly religous person but do live my life to a basic set of buddhist principles of if you are good to people it will be returned which works for me. Karma if you will.

    But remember there is almost always someone worse off in life than you are, for example I do volunteer work for the red cross with a guy who has downs syndrome and the highlight of his week is me picking him up to go see a movie or go bowling, which is just an everday activity for you or I.

    This in itself doesn't make me happy of course, but I certainly feel much more fortunate myself knowing that things really aren't that bad for me. I have a good job, I'm fit, own my apartment (well bank does), drive a nice car and am generally pretty happy and healthy, so life could be way worse. You just have to look at it from a different perspective. I'm 30 and unmarried but would like to be in the next 5 years, but while I could let this get me down I don't, I just get on with living life.

    For the OP, there is surely someone out there with no parents left in more despair than you are, so be thankful you still have your mother. AJ, there is surely someone out there that doesn't have a beautiful wife and child that wants those things, and you should appreciate that you do. I think you get my point.

    I think you should definitely get some greif counselling to start off with, this could be a big part of the problem with you getting motivated.

    Good luck!
     


  12. Hombre Secreto

    Hombre Secreto Senior member

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    I've got that down to a science.

    You're depressed and booze isn't going to help you. Quit drinking or getting high. You're an unhappy person and NOTHING is capable of making you happy right about now. You need to be able to think long and hard to help yourself, and having a clear mind is key. Try seeking a mentor. Someone who is a lot older than you, and has gone through way more shit than you.

    And don't have kids anytime soon. You ain't mature enough, and throwing a kid into the mix right now would be really bad for everyone involved. Good luck, dude.
     


  13. Mr Herbert

    Mr Herbert Senior member

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    Interesting you should mention it, some nights when I am unable to sleep feel like smothering the wife and child and breaking free (though I have no idea what break free means). Feel even more frustrated knowing I will never have the balls to do it.

    am i the only one disturbed by this admission?
     


  14. pokey07

    pokey07 Senior member

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    This is all rather saddening, for all of you guys feeling like this.

    One of my favourite quotes is from that of the dalai lama which is quite simple

    "I believe the true meaning of life is to find happiness"

    I have this written on my wall (a chalkboard wall) and look at it every morning. It very simple because if you are not happy, then you should look at why and try and do something about it.

    I'm not a particularly religous person but do live my life to a basic set of buddhist principles of if you are good to people it will be returned which works for me. Karma if you will.

    But remember there is almost always someone worse off in life than you are, for example I do volunteer work for the red cross with a guy who has downs syndrome and the highlight of his week is me picking him up to go see a movie or go bowling, which is just an everday activity for you or I.

    This in itself doesn't make me happy of course, but I certainly feel much more fortunate myself knowing that things really aren't that bad for me. I have a good job, I'm fit, own my apartment (well bank does), drive a nice car and am generally pretty happy and healthy, so life could be way worse. You just have to look at it from a different perspective. I'm 30 and unmarried but would like to be in the next 5 years, but while I could let this get me down I don't, I just get on with living life.

    For the OP, there is surely someone out there with no parents left in more despair than you are, so be thankful you still have your mother. AJ, there is surely someone out there that doesn't have a beautiful wife and child that wants those things, and you should appreciate that you do. I think you get my point.

    I think you should definitely get some greif counselling to start off with, this could be a big part of the problem with you getting motivated.

    Good luck!


    Thank you for the advice. I agree that one should find happiness. Right now I think that getting into a career that paid a lot, so that I could provide a great life for a family would make me happy, whether or not I love what I'm doing.

    I know people are worse off than me, especially considering my mom is as helpful as she can be. This is why part of me just says suck it up, and start getting your life on track.

    And now I'll go to work and think about what I want to do with my life. I think to myself, "become a doctor, you'll like that. Nah that's dumb. What about law school? Nope, too stupid. Going back to school for engineering seems like a good choice. 3 more years of school for another bachelor's? You're in idiot." And so on and so forth. I'm extremely indecisive, and it's driving me nuts. Obviously the best thing for me to do is keep putting my undergrad degree to use, and finding a decent job, paying off debt, etc. I guess I just can't find a decent job.

    You're depressed and booze isn't going to help you. Quit drinking or getting high. You're an unhappy person and NOTHING is capable of making you happy right about now. You need to be able to think long and hard to help yourself, and having a clear mind is key. Try seeking a mentor. Someone who is a lot older than you, and has gone through way more shit than you.

    And don't have kids anytime soon. You ain't mature enough, and throwing a kid into the mix right now would be really bad for everyone involved. Good luck, dude.


    I know, I know, I was mostly kidding anyway. I do drink like once a week, but it's when I'm going out with friends. And I have a long-term girlfriend that I fully intend on marrying, and I don't think either of us wants kids right now, so no worries there.

    am i the only one disturbed by this admission?

    I was just hoping I misunderstood it.

    I really appreciate all the advice/comments thus far.
     


  15. Blackhood

    Blackhood Senior member

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    I'm extremely indecisive, and it's driving me nuts. Obviously the best thing for me to do is keep putting my undergrad degree to use, and finding a decent job, paying off debt, etc. I guess I just can't find a decent job.

    I was exactly this way until I was 18, then something twigged. You can do anything. Literally. I ditched school and worked at a supermarket to pay for flying lessons. At 18 I was flying aircraft without a single qualification. I enrolled in flying school to become a commercial pilot, and failed. Within 2 weeks I'd been accepted into a university to study International Business and Advertising.

    Pick something you would like to do, but never could. Now do it. Once you've achieved something impossible, the world is your oyster.

    I gave this advice to a friend, also a drop out, who wanted to become a lawyer. He said he wanted to be in a real court room, and see the legal system at work. We sat down, wrote to as many local practices a s we could and within 6 weeks he was shadowing a senior lawyer. Some night-school classes and a recommendation from from said lawyer, and in September he starts training.

    Seriously, with tenacity and balls, there is nothing you can't do. Think about it, America has had a retard as a president and now has a black Hawaiian nerd. Nothing in this life is off limits.
     


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