Girl Issues, Need Advice vol. infinity

Originally Posted by CalTex

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made my day lol Thanks, I will keep that in mind the for the next guy.

I suppose this is going to be our thread for women related issues, so I shall post.

There is this girl in my history class, she seems interesting and is cute, only problem is that this other guy is talking to her. I am not sure if its her boyfriend or just a friend but at the beginning of the semester I dont remember her talking to her. I saw them study once and I see them talk after class now, he waits for her and vice versa.

I know that I dress better than this guy and am more built than this guy, and in my opinion I am more pleasing to the aesthetic. but he jumped on her ass before I got a chance, well before I tried.

How should I approach her? I have come to accept that I am a bit timid sometimes and other tiems, i.e. when in uniform, with friends, I grow a pair all of a sudden.

You can never be sure. She could be in the infatuation stage with this guy, at which point anything you do will make you just look like a douche. She could legitimately love him, and the results will be the same. She may also be playing him because she craves attention and he provides it. Your only really opportunity to figure out what's up is go for it. Talk to her, build rapport, act confident, then ask her if she wants to study/get lunch/etc. and take it from there. After you've done your recon work and assessed the situation, then you make your judgement on final course of action.

You said in uniform. You ROTC?

so wait...

you don't talk to girl.
then get buttsore cos other guy talks to girl.
then ask internet why girl and other guy are talking when you are the one with the uniform.

Does that about summarise the scenario?

Sorry dude, you have no cause for complaint. Some other dude went up and said hi, while you stood in the back looking at your reflection and pondering how much better looking you are than him...and you're surprised that he was the one that made a good impression on her?

Learn the lesson and move on.

Originally Posted by mm84321

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So, apparently girls don't like it very much when you tell them that they look and remind you of someone else you know.
Not unless that someone is Halle Berry.

Originally Posted by HgaleK

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You can never be sure. She could be in the infatuation stage with this guy, at which point anything you do will make you just look like a douche. She could legitimately love him, and the results will be the same. She may also be playing him because she craves attention and he provides it. Your only really opportunity to figure out what's up is go for it. Talk to her, build rapport, act confident, then ask her if she wants to study/get lunch/etc. and take it from there. After you've done your recon work and assessed the situation, then you make your judgement on final course of action.

You said in uniform. You ROTC?

FD, considered joining ROTC but from all that I hear from people I know that are military, Special Forces, Marines, Navy, Seals. They look at ROTC like some punks, maybe is was just these few guys I met but yeah.

Originally Posted by Matt

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so wait...

you don't talk to girl.
then get buttsore cos other guy talks to girl.
then ask internet why girl and other guy are talking when you are the one with the uniform.

Does that about summarise the scenario?

Sorry dude, you have no cause for complaint. Some other dude went up and said hi, while you stood in the back looking at your reflection and pondering how much better looking you are than him...and you're surprised that he was the one that made a good impression on her?

Learn the lesson and move on.

Well I had been busy and was not sure how to approach her because she leaves right after class to another class i suppose, but then I saw she started talking to this guy and I was here we go again, story of my freaking life.

So I did some creeping and did not find her on facebook or on google, so I do not know if she is in a relationship with this guy or some other guy.

she sits three rows in front of me and we go to a private instition = small class = if i were to sit next to her one day it would be OBVIOUS and I would be taking someones seat. This guy waits for her after class from what I have seen, last 2 classes and last class he sat next to her.

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Practically everybody in this thread agrees that the OP should get his proverbial suit tailored. That's not people's issue with your advice-- the problem is that you're offering these towering, categorical proclamations based on your own narrow experience. Instead of being content to say, "You should get your suit tailored", you're saying, "You should always buy your suit in a 50R, because that's what's always worked for me." pstoller said it best:
If you want to make a friend go volunteer at big brothers and big sisters (somehting you should be doing anyway). I not here to be your or anyone's friend. I'm not an asshole but I don't give a **** if you feel offended or if you think i'm harsh/brash. so the hell what, i speak the truth. Rather hear the truth from me and be a tad bit butthurt, then have to go through it because you trusted this woman to be X or Y and you are now looking at pictures of her and wondering how she could do X to me, etc. Just becuase you don't want to hear something doesn't mean it's not right.

Originally Posted by olualbert

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I just find it absolutely ludicrous that during your drunking engagement, it never occured to you that she just needed a good f--k without strings attached. Im appalled to the fact that this girl went to your house drinking wine and you did not intiate sex. What a f--king waste of time.

This is what I was thinking, mabye she just wanted to get laid. Women like sex too. Even no strings attached sex.

Originally Posted by CalTex

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FD, considered joining ROTC but from all that I hear from people I know that are military, Special Forces, Marines, Navy, Seals. They look at ROTC like some punks, maybe is was just these few guys I met but yeah.

I have no clue. ROTC is just a big deal at the school I'm at

she sits three rows in front of me and we go to a private instition = small class = if i were to sit next to her one day it would be OBVIOUS and I would be taking someones seat. This guy waits for her after class from what I have seen, last 2 classes and last class he sat next to her.

Well, it's going to be OBVIOUS when you start talking to her that you're interested one way or another. I tend to just sit down, thrown on my award winning smile, and introduce myself. Sometimes it gets a polite smile and it ends there, sometimes a cold look, and sometimes a foothold in to a conversation and a number. Either drop nut and go for it (though, if she's in to the guy, she may say that the seat is taken, which might burn pretty bad if everyone noticed) or move on to someone else. All you're doing is making excuses at this point. No harm no foul if you just take a lesson on waiting and move on.

A little note on the confidence thing. I've always been good at closing. If a buddy could introduce to a girl, I could sink it. The issue was simply getting the introduction myself. Two things helped me here. 1) My buddy who can get any number (very non-traditional mad skillz. Confident, sure, but no asshole/alpha/etc. behaviour and he comes off as gay to most guys. Even if he plays gay friend to a girl, they end up trying to jump his bones. The dude is a virgin by choice and has a bad habit of avoiding closing, but not because he can't. I'll watch him get 5-10 numbers in any given day just because he wants the lullz. He literally has more girls than he can keep up with. The dude isn't more than a 7/10 either on the looks scale) made a deal with me that if we saw a girl and both found her attractive, that I had to go up and try to get her number. There were a few odd encounters, but I found out that most chicks really don't freak out if you're not a creeper. Genuine smile, genuine interest in her, and then ask for a number. 2 minutes of work tops to get it, and there have been times where I've just told a girl that she was attractive or what she was doing was interesting and asked for the number. 2) After you've got the volume approach out of the way to get you mellow out about going for it, never let yourself wait more than 20 seconds to try for a number. You'll psych yourself out while waiting. Drop nut and dive in. The worst that she says is "no" and that just means that you try again later.

New girl issue!

Got completely drunk last night at a club and chat up a friend's friend, who happens to be not at all that attractive (beer goggles, low hanging fruit etc, win yay) and had a good old grappling match with her in a corner. The problem is that this isn't the first time I got drunk and decided to go for his friends. The bigger problem is that they all work in the same very close knit/well connected industry where everyone pretty much went to the same college and know each other if they graduate about the same year. This is the 4th of his friends I drunkenly ravaged this past year and I'm pretty sure all 4 girls know each other well enough.

Now where can I find the eject with dignity button?
And where the hell is sober the **** up button?

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Have you considered shooting pool alone?

Originally Posted by christinedaae

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If you want to make a friend go volunteer at big brothers and big sisters (somehting you should be doing anyway). I not here to be your or anyone's friend. I'm not an asshole but I don't give a **** if you feel offended or if you think i'm harsh/brash. so the hell what, i speak the truth. Rather hear the truth from me and be a tad bit butthurt, then have to go through it because you trusted this woman to be X or Y and you are now looking at pictures of her and wondering how she could do X to me, etc. Just becuase you don't want to hear something doesn't mean it's not right.

Why wouldn't she do X to me; if I already expected her to do X to me?

Originally Posted by blahman

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New girl issue!

Got completely drunk last night at a club and chat up a friend's friend, who happens to be not at all that attractive (beer goggles, low hanging fruit etc, win yay) and had a good old grappling match with her in a corner. The problem is that this isn't the first time I got drunk and decided to go for his friends. The bigger problem is that they all work in the same very close knit/well connected industry where everyone pretty much went to the same college and know each other if they graduate about the same year. This is the 4th of his friends I drunkenly ravaged this past year and I'm pretty sure all 4 girls know each other well enough.

Now where can I find the eject with dignity button?
And where the hell is sober the **** up button?
She's probably used to people disavowing their experiences with her. Just don't say anything (but I suspect you want to since you willingly blabbed about it here).

Originally Posted by HgaleK

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1) My buddy who can get any number (very non-traditional mad skillz. Confident, sure, but no asshole/alpha/etc. behaviour and he comes off as gay to most guys. Even if he plays gay friend to a girl, they end up trying to jump his bones. The dude is a virgin by choice and has a bad habit of avoiding closing, but not because he can't. I'll watch him get 5-10 numbers in any given day just because he wants the lullz. He literally has more girls than he can keep up with. The dude isn't more than a 7/10 either on the looks scale)..

This is me in a nutshell but I am more of an 8.

Originally Posted by HgaleK

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Well, it's going to be OBVIOUS when you start talking to her that you're interested one way or another. I tend to just sit down, thrown on my award winning smile, and introduce myself. Sometimes it gets a polite smile and it ends there, sometimes a cold look, and sometimes a foothold in to a conversation and a number. Either drop nut and go for it (though, if she's in to the guy, she may say that the seat is taken, which might burn pretty bad if everyone noticed) or move on to someone else. All you're doing is making excuses at this point. No harm no foul if you just take a lesson on waiting and move on. A little note on the confidence thing. I've always been good at closing. If a buddy could introduce to a girl, I could sink it. The issue was simply getting the introduction myself. Two things helped me here. 1) My buddy who can get any number (very non-traditional mad skillz. Confident, sure, but no asshole/alpha/etc. behaviour and he comes off as gay to most guys. Even if he plays gay friend to a girl, they end up trying to jump his bones. The dude is a virgin by choice and has a bad habit of avoiding closing, but not because he can't. I'll watch him get 5-10 numbers in any given day just because he wants the lullz. He literally has more girls than he can keep up with. The dude isn't more than a 7/10 either on the looks scale) made a deal with me that if we saw a girl and both found her attractive, that I had to go up and try to get her number. There were a few odd encounters, but I found out that most chicks really don't freak out if you're not a creeper. Genuine smile, genuine interest in her, and then ask for a number. 2 minutes of work tops to get it, and there have been times where I've just told a girl that she was attractive or what she was doing was interesting and asked for the number. 2) After you've got the volume approach out of the way to get you mellow out about going for it, never let yourself wait more than 20 seconds to try for a number. You'll psych yourself out while waiting. Drop nut and dive in. The worst that she says is "no" and that just means that you try again later.
Once you get over the fear of being told no of rejection by the opposite sex in general, its' like Pandoras box is opened with the opposite sex. when we were younger, my 2 best friends and I had this game when we would hit up the town, we would basically see who can get slapped/drinks thrown on them/rejected as badly as possible. The first one to have something "humiliating" would win free drinks for the rest of the night on us. I can count on one hand the amount of times that actually happened, and that's in 2-3 years of going out on a weekly basis. Of course we had rules, no rude / inappropriate behavior, no touching, none of that. you just had to go and lay your game to the girl and get rejected as badly as possible. And it had to be a good faith effort. Sucks at first but after a while you could care less, it's just a numbers game. I remember one night, actually on my 21st birthday, we went out and I tried to get told "no" 10 times and ended up with enough phone numbers to keep me busy the rest of the summer (my Bday is june 17th) including my High schools prom queen who I had a mad crush on in HS but was too chicken to do **** about it. I play pool by myself quite often. More times than not I end up hanging out with someone I met when I am out, male or female.

Originally Posted by blahman

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Now where can I find the eject with dignity button?
And where the hell is sober the **** up button?

It's the same button. If you can't control yourself when drunk, don't get drunk. If you can't go to clubs without getting drunk, don't go to clubs. It's an old saw that the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Just telling us about it isn't going to change your behavior.

Originally Posted by pstoller

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It's the same button. If you can't control yourself when drunk, don't get drunk. If you can't go to clubs without getting drunk, don't go to clubs. It's an old saw that the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. Just telling us about it isn't going to change your behavior.

I guess you're right. I guess I should man the **** up and tell her how nutty I was that night (not about her friends) and get things cleared up. I actually vowed to not get drunk again, but who would have thought I got that drunk after 3 drinks that night...

Does it make a difference that I was just being friendly with her and then she was the one who jumped me, but I went along with it because drunken me thought "*******, I'm grabbing ass".