Silently Judging Me - and my clothes!

[edmond]

Who cares what the other people think as long as YOU look good.
Those who mind don´t matter and those who matter don´t mind.

 

[johnapril]

I think you should care. Or move to Indiana.

 

[Briguy]

Its a fine line. Conform too much, and you lose your uniqueness and wind up a poster child for mediocrity. Stand out too much, and for the wrong reasons, and you lose influence and acceptance, marginalizing yourself.

 

[ccffm1]

If the terms arrogant and snobbish really described you best, you would be well advised to change your attitude rather than your clothes. People tend to find such traits incommoding.

 

[stach]

Get a couple of skater outfits and make them really confused.

 

[cheapmutha]

ive been called supergay by a gay friend of mine for going to internet fashion boards and having jeans from japan. hows that for reverse discrimination?

 

[Bradford]

Originally Posted by ccffm1

If the terms arrogant and snobbish really described you best, you would be well advised to change your attitude rather than your clothes. People tend to find such traits incommoding.

Agreed.

It's typically more about the attitude than the clothes.

Wear your clothes, don't let them wear you.

 

[Ivan Kipling]

Never.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by Bradford

Wear your clothes, don't let them wear you.

Better advice is hard to find.

Seriously, dress for the occasion, don't sweat being slightly over-dressed as long as you can relax it a bit, and smile.

Some folks put on a suit and wear it like armor. Others wear it with a few things "wrong" (unbuttoned collar or cuffs, loose tie, whatever) and seem more approachable. I had a friend I worked with who did just that. I got the questions about amortization, and then folks would chat with him on how the Aggies would do this season. I learned to loosen up.

 

[GQgeek]

I agree that it's more about attitude than anything else. Half of what I own is now MTM or bespoke and I usually look very expensive, but that's not why I dress the way I do. You couldn't pay me to wear jeans. I'm constantly overdressed by most people's standards but I really don't care, and neither do they for the most part. Do people talk about me behind my back? I honestly don't know, but it doesn't affect me, so again, i don't care. Of course, I have a disarming attitude and I don't snub people because they dress differently than I do. Privately I might wonder to myself what they were thinking, but I don't show that. I spend half my time at a university so I'm not expecting anyone else to dress like me. The perks far outweigh any potential chatter that might go on behind my back because girls like it. I like standing out.

And btw, if that photo you posted the other day is representative of how you dress on a daily basis, I'd hardly call you overdressed.

 

[Augusto86]

Originally Posted by ccffm1

If the terms arrogant and snobbish really described you best, you would be well advised to change your attitude rather than your clothes. People tend to find such traits incommoding.
I had hoped for a more disarmingly sarcastic tone there - I don't really think of myself as snobbish, and only a TAD arrogant.

And GQGeek, yeah, that's how I usually dress. I think its more a function of living on a sweatpants-and-holey T-shirts kind of campus.

cheapmutha, I know how you feel. I always browse SF with a tab open to College Humor or Maxim in case someone walks in and catchs me in flagrante. (Just kidding...kinda).

johnapril, Indiana? Why indiana? I couldn't name you a city in Indiana if I tried?

And finally, I'm not really to stressed about it. I was just musing and killing time. What's that quote, something about better to be infamous than unknown? Can't remember the exact phrase or origin, but it's a good'un.

 

[mrchapel]

Originally Posted by DocHolliday

I think this is much more of a problem for young guys than older ones. As an old man, I hope to wear nothing but three-piece suits and fedoras. But for now, I try to keep my style appropriate for the moment, if a bit on the dressy side. (Some people, I'm sure, would say I slip over the line. My girlfriend the other day declared: "You're not John Steed!" I took it as a compliment.)

As would I! Love Patrick Macnee's wardrobe; even to this day those suits are timeless. True English cut.

Originally Posted by Jovan

I've learned recently that not giving a flying **** what people think is a good attitude to have. It's served me pretty well.

Sartorially, I agree.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by Augusto86

What's that quote, something about better to be infamous than unknown? Can't remember the exact phrase or origin, but it's a good'un.

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

Month Python or Oscar Wilde, one of those geniuses.

 

[Augusto86]

Originally Posted by Thomas

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

Month Python or Oscar Wilde, one of those geniuses.
Oscar Wilde, thank you.

 

[LARon]

I agree with everything that's been said.

Most members of this forum are dedicated dressers who've perfected an individual style with which they're comfortable, and therefore have little concern about what others think, or feeling different from the crowd.

I've been "dressing" for 30 years and there've been many days -- even as far back as college, law school and the early days of my career -- when some have thought me overdressed, or were intimidated by my appearance (which is more often the case).

But on far more days, at least two or three a week, even now -- and often by total strangers or passersby -- I'm' complimented on how well put together I am, or how I inspire them, or put a smile on their face, or bring a touch of elegance to an otherwise "slouching toward Gomorra" kind of world. Yet, no matter the reaction, I've always dressed for me and have never changed my style; you shouldn't either.

To me, each day presents a new occasion to paint a canvas with the many colors and textures in my closet. I dress in the manner that suits me for the plannned activity of the day, be it business, law, upscale or downtown, knowing full well that others will take note of my appearance (it has always equaled my professional reputation -- a tremendous one-two punch I might add). While I don't prance and preen like some self-indugent peacock, I also try not to hold back on what I feel is the look I want to project, or the colors or fabrics I want to combine; and I find that people admire that, even if they themselves lack the courage or creativity to pull it off. (I learned long ago that it is easy to be ordinary, but it takes courage to succeed. I've committed both balls to the latter.)

Granted, I do have a "down" or weekend look, that includes shorts, jeans, cordurouys or khakis, and that reinforces my "regular guy-ness," and undermines any suggestion that I'm some stuck-up or aloof prig. By the same token, however, you'll never catch me in a t-shirt (at least not out in public). Even when I wear jeans, my shirts will have a collar. Its my belief that the widespread preference for jeans and t-shirts (not to mention sweats) are what has ruined our sartorial culture. It has made us lazy and stolen our creativity, to the point where nowadays we let designers dress us. Indeed, most people now consider themselves well dressed simply if they're wearing the designer du jure. Its just tragic.

Back on topic: don't change your style per se, but temper it to place and activity. Its one thing to be one step ahead of everyone else, and another to be two steps ahead. Nothing will bring out the long knives quicker than people believing you're getting too far ahead of them; it makes them look bad (like the kid who always set the grade curve above your reach).