Excellent article on quarter-life crisis

[theincumbent]

Originally Posted by crazyquik

Common law marriage is no longer recognized in all states I don't think. Where it is recognized, there is usually a requirement for years. Often strong evidence of common law marriage requires the woman to take his surname, for them to have joint checking accounts, to hold themselves out as "really" being married, etc.

No, and yes. Just took my Family Law exam last week (2nd to last!). The majority of states have held that there is no time requirement, so theoretically it could be a month. The most-defining characteristic of a common law marriage is where (as you have stated) the couple holds themselves out as a married couple. Check your local listings and beware.

Quik - I appreciate your thoughtful analysis on this issue. It truly is one of the defining characteristics that marks the mid-twenties to thirties generation. And I do believe plays a large role in the Quarter Life Crisis discussed in the OPs article.

 

[Flambeur]

I think there is also a difference between a crisis and "course adjustment". There are certain things that you can only learn by living your life and not by other methods, no matter how smart of driven you are. So eventually, especially when combined with other factors outside of your control, this might lead to having to readjust your course in life once you get older and understand the world and where you're going a bit better.

So not a crisis, but more of a serious change in your direction/priorities/etc.

The best thing about the whole quarter-life crisis concept is that you can still make changes and make sure that you get what you want out of the other 3/4s of your life even if you've made tons of mistakes already. Sure, life is short and you need to get the most out of it, but it's also important to stop and try to figure out if you're in process of building a life that you want to live when you're 30, 40, 50, 60, etc....

 

[crazyquik]

Originally Posted by theincumbent

No, and yes. Just took my Family Law exam last week (2nd to last!). The majority of states have held that there is no time requirement, so theoretically it could be a month. The most-defining characteristic of a common law marriage is where (as you have stated) the couple holds themselves out as a married couple. Check your local listings and beware.

Quik - I appreciate your thoughtful analysis on this issue. It truly is one of the defining characteristics that marks the mid-twenties to thirties generation. And I do believe plays a large role in the Quarter Life Crisis discussed in the OPs article.

Thank you for the compliment, and the clarification

It definently sounds much easier to stumble into a common law marriage in Canada. JD_May, do you know if Canada permits common law homosexual marriage or 'unofficiated civil union' or whatever?

edit to add - the girl I'm dating is not a Ring Chaser, and doesn't appear to be the Sex In The City type, but has been engaged twice and cohabitated before.

Another defining characteristic that the Quarterlife Crisis article mentioned is that more mid-twenties to thirties folks are buying their first home or condo alone, instead of married with two incomes. It would be interesting for someone to crunch some numbers and see how many (if any?) additional condo units were built in the last 5 years because so many buyers were single males and females who were told to buy (where, in the past, they would have been married and buying jointly). A friend (25) is getting married in a month and both her and her fiance both seperately had their own townhouses, and of course they also just sold one into the worst market in anticipation of the marriage and moving in together.

 

[Deluks917]

Aren't common law marriages in only about 13 + 5(kinda) states in the US?

 

[barims]

Glad that article was posted. It's eerily recognisable

 

[LabelKing]

That first descriptor is the perfect profile for people I always see in San Francisco.

 

[tiecollector]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I think that this is part of a greater problem in the states 1. the whole market has an inflated sense of their own value, from auto workers to college graduates. what skills and abilities does an average college graduate bring to the market that is worth $60-200K? and why do you think that there isn't somebody better in india or brazil willing to do the same job for 1/3-1/6 of that? for a period of time, americans had an advantage just by being americans- this was the center of the world and it allowed people to earn more just because they were here and spoke the language. we have allowed our position as the center of the world to lapse, and now we have significantly less of an advantage 2. we ambraced the whole idea of raising kids to believe that they were much more special than the really were. if you tell a kid that he is wonderful and special because he can color between the lines, when he is 22 he will think he is wonderful and special because he has a piece of paper from a second rate college.
True this. I'll also add: 3) The stigma that manual labor is bad. Rolling up your sleeves every once in a while (even if only when times are tough) is very therapeutic. Is working in a call center all day really moving up? You are getting fat, lowering endorphines, etc. Not to mention, sitting on your ass all day is pretty damned exhausting (not kidding). The janitor in my building quit being a photographer to be a janitor and he loves it. He lost weight, gets out and he gets the place spotless. 4) The fear of growing up that people have today, especially with Gen X. How many 40 year old teenagers do you see on a regular basis? Embrace the receding hairline and realize that long term happiness can't be found in a club. Having a small, close family and happiness is worth more than anything the Jones' have.

 

[erdawe]

Originally Posted by tiecollector

True this. I'll also add: 3) The stigma that manual labor is bad. Rolling up your sleeves every once in a while (even if only when times are tough) is very therapeutic. Is working in a call center all day really moving up? You are getting fat, lowering endorphines, etc. Not to mention, sitting on your ass all day is pretty damned exhausting (not kidding). The janitor in my building quit being a photographer to be a janitor and he loves it. He lost weight, gets out and he gets the place spotless.
Agreed. I find the unwarranted social stigmas against it doesn't do this country many favors. MS, thanks for posting up the link, very interesting discussion.