I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Originally Posted by mellowfellow

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Girlfriend and I of six years broke up over the weekend. We have so much love for each other but we need some growing to do on ourselves apart. This hurts so much. Right now I'm having a hard time believing in myself that i can move on.
That horrible chest gripping pain eventually subsides. Take some Tylenol, it's actually been proven to reduce the pain of heartbreak. Write down a plan for improving yourself. Lose weight, get a haircut, reorganize your house, take a class. Reconnect with friends. You'll get over this. Relationships that go on for as many years as yours did rarely just grind to a halt. More often they consist of breakups, then reconciliations, then final breakup. Don't be surprised if you guys get back together for a period of time until you break up for good. Don't let this reconciliation period fool you - you broke up for a reason. This is a difficult attitude to take as your brain will be flooded with pleasure chemicals once again - it's honeymoon period. The sex will be great, you'll be overwhelmed with hope. Don't fall for it.

im great at relationships but terrible at meeting people or getting laid. feel free to pm me for advice that youll all eventually ignore.

Pstoller you're my new relationship advice hero...

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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im great at relationships but terrible at meeting people or getting laid. feel free to pm me for advice that youll all eventually ignore.

IM me ho

The mouth breathing in this thread is overwhelming. Some of you people really need to grow a set and move on with your lives. ****.

Originally Posted by Teger

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IM me ho

been out of the city and away from im for a few days. will hit you up tmrw

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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im great at relationships but terrible at meeting people or getting laid. feel free to pm me for advice that youll all eventually ignore.

aint that the truth. but don't worry, later you can tell them I TOLD YOU SO. sigh.

Originally Posted by APK

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- Return all of her possessions and break ties for the foreseeable future. You don't need to never communicate with her again, but even chit chat with her right now is going to make things more difficult than they need to be. Make this clear to her, if necessary, but don't be a dick about it.

- Immerse yourself in a hobby or two, be it new or old. It will give you something productive to do and temporarily take your mind off of this.

- Reconnect with friends and family. Most people inadvertently get shoddy about maintaining their existing relationships with close friends and even family when a romantic interest enters the picture. Use this free time to re-establish those bonds. They'll help take your mind off the girl, but also be there for you when you inevitably need to unload/vent a bit about what's happened.

Great advice, especially the first part. I'd suggest not talking for 30 days and then seeing how you feel. I've been there man and it seems like the worst feeling but try to stay positive.

Originally Posted by Matt

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close.

Tell her that you have had a lot of time to think in the past few days, and you have come to agree with her. You are better off apart. Wish her well. Then sit back and wait.

There are two options.

1. she feels dumped and comes running back as she ponders Life Without Him and 'omigodwhathaveidone?'. This is kind of what you want.
2. she doesn't, in which case you are slightly better off than you are now, as at least she isn't stringing your ass along.

Either way, leave out the victim Quit Playing Games With My Heart stuff from your spiel.

once again have to quote this for incredible advice

Originally Posted by pstoller

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You can. Not without pain, of course, but you can. Two things to remember: first, the end of a successful relationship is not the same thing as failure; second, the end of a couple is not the end of the individuals.

This is sagacious.

Originally Posted by pstoller

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Not only don't you have to, but it's inappropriate to do so. So, simply say"”gently"”that you don't celebrate anniversaries after a relationship ends.

If she really wants flowers from an ex-boyfriend, she should go break up with someone who feels the same way about it as she does.

This too is sagacious. I texted her yesterday and said "hey sorry phone died and left charger at work" that's it. She moved on.

ed be honest are your posts fake

Originally Posted by Teger

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ed be honest are your posts fake

My whole life is fake.

i feel every post you make in this thread is a troll

Originally Posted by Teger

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i feel every post you make in this thread is a troll

Most I can't believe myself.

So anyway, this is what went down when we got together on Sunday.

At first when she got there, I said to her something along the lines of, "You know, I was doing some thinking the past couple of days, and maybe you are right, and we can't be together."

Then we talked some for a little bit, and says she still feels like she needs some space and some time, I told her I simply can't do that, you have to respect me and how I feel about this, you can't just prance around taking all the time in the world, while i'm sitting here in some ******* limbo. You either let me move on with my life, or you stay and we work things out.

After this she kept stressing she needs time, she doesn't know if we can be together etc, a couple of times she got up, and it seemed like she was just gonna walk out, KNOWING that I would really sever all ties with her, but she didn't believe I would do that.

She said she didn't appreciate how i'm sort of making an ultimatum, which it really wasn't.

Long story short, in the end she agreed that we would stay together, but she doesn't necessarily feel right about it, she said she trusts me when I say that everything is going to be alright, and she still loves me.

This was Sunday night...we're going to see each other tomorrow.

I'm not going to lie, I don't know if I really feel better, I feel like I convinced her to stay, and she didn't do it on her own accord entirely. But then another part of me thinks that if allowed herself to be convinced she still wants in.

She said she felt like she was going against her better judgement, but at the same time she doesn't think she stayed 100% because of me, or what I said or did...so some part of her still wanted to stay

I'm just really ******* confused at this point, I don't have much hope, and I think I feel worse than before. Really what are the odds of her coming back to stay for good after all this? Should I just let her go know, or should I just let it ride out again, so at least in the end I could say I tried. Who knows what will happen...?

This just really ******* sucks all around.

My heart goes out to you Mellow, I feel like this after a year and a half, I can only imagine what you feel like after 6.