ex lied about being pregnant! thanks for all your help.

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

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Call me a moralistic relativist.

***** is a psycho. She can do whatever she wants, but she has no right to expect anything from this guy. She can make her own decisions. She didn't take her pill? She is at fault. Tough ****, *****. Don't be a psycho next time. Men are not to be trusted; neither are women.

The sooner you waked up from your Utopian worldview, the better off you will be rkjpeanut.

This is the part where I agree and disagree. While the lady certainly has no right to expect anything; the child does. To paraphrase what you said, the OP is at fault. Tough ****, OP. Time to take care of your kid, if that's the way things go.

edit: I do agree about getting a DNA test as well any other options to prove or disprove paternity, as discussed by others in the posts below.

DTAB

don't trust a *****

Originally Posted by deranged

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i'm in a lot of **** right now. please help with any kind of advice.

I dated this girl for 4 weeks - we'll call her 1. 1 was on the pill (tricyclen lo). i didn't pull out when we had sex, ever, because she wanted it inside her. i never ever actually saw her take the pill but i've seen them in her bag. she claims she took them everyday, sometimes maybe a couple of hours late. we had a conversation prior to sex and she said if she was to ever get pregnant, she would get rid of it. she's in 4th year university like i am. I never believed that she would be so stupid to risk her career for a child.

After 3-4 weeks, I found out that 1 had a mean temper. 1 was controlling and didn't want me talking to any other girls, even ones i've been friends with for 3-4 years. She was super picky and just wasn't my type of girl, so i broke up with 1. She really liked me and didn't want to break up. It was messy for a week or so where she would call me crying every day.

A couple of weeks later, i started dating another girl who i've had a crush on since second year of university. we hit it off and i think she might be the one for me. The new girl has everything i'm looking for and is tall and good looking. Everything has been going good and it's been almost 3 weeks with the new girl.

1 called me two nights ago and told me that she's missed her period for a couple of days.
she usually has her period the 3rd day of her placebo, but now she's on her 5th and still no bleeding. she doesn't want to start a new pack of pills because it might be dangerous.
I told her to take a test and she said it was positive. she said if she was indeed prego, she'd keep it.
i reminded her of our conversation and she said she's changed her mind.

i'm in the last year of my undergrad, i'm starting my grad program next year. I think i might have found the girl i want to settle with. everything is going so well and this happens.

i don't know what to do now...

i tried to convince 1 to get rid of it, but she said it's her decision and she'll think about it, but she's most likely keeping it. although she said she might give it up for adoption.
i told 1 i would have no part in taking care of this child because i didn't plan on having it, and she had agreed to not have one if accidents happened. 1 said that she doesn't need me and she can take care of the kid by herself...

I told the new girl and she was really understanding. she said she'd work through it with me because she cares about me. She said however, if 1 were to actually decide to have the kid, she would have to leave me.

1 smokes and went drinking last night. is she actually serious about having a kid? i think she's doing this to get back at me and is not really planning to have a kid. i want her to take more prego tests, but she refuse to until next tuesday when it will be the last day she might get her period. 1 knows about the new girl and she told me to stop talking to her until this is settled.
I haven't seen 1 take the test so she might be ******** me, but i can't risk it though; my future is on the line.

what should i do? what should i say?

You have to make her get a DNA test once the baby is born. If she refuses you can go to the county children services where you live. If they don't want to help you, you can file with the court for Judicial bypass where the judge will order a test. Flip-side: you are going to be paying some child support. It is based on your income.

**** wouldn't even be happening if dude was responsible about where his **** ended up. Gotta look out for yourself.



Also, take it to the Maury show.

Originally Posted by bkstone

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The op and woman were both irresponsible, but the ex is in the wrong in wanting to possibly bring a future unwanted child in the world if she continues on the pregnancy, while possibly harming her and the OP's future. She also lied and said she was on the pill, so she also deceived the OP as well.


Key point.

It just sounds a bit too convenient, sounds like psycho mind games IMHO considering she is still boozing and smoking and was crying on the phone to you for a week etc and wanted you back. Go to the doc with her to confirm she's really preggers, play it as you want her to be safe so lets go to the doc for a check up angle if she doesnt want to. It seems like you are in touch with her pretty regularly, try backing off for a bit and let things cool down and see what happens.. this girl you met 3 weeks ago.. well you can kiss her good bye.

If she is prego, well then its up to you what you want to do. I had a similar scare a while back and turns out it wasn't mine but the girl didn't let me know till i had backed off after confirming she was really pregnant but letting her know I would be there if she did decide to keep it. She had gone running back to her ex and was just making me squirm but it was a very rough 4-5 months so I share the pain!

Forget all the cost analysis BS for now, as she might be just doing it for the attention. She might not genuinely want you around, but take things one at a time.

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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"I never believed that she would be so stupid to risk her career for a child."

nah jack, you're the one who's stupid. your whole life is fucked up now, and you deserve it.

when i get down, here are the rules:

1.) she's on the pill. if she's not, no thanks.
2.) i use a condom. if she's not down, no thanks.
3.) i pull out. if she's not down, no thanks.

losing a little bit of pleasure is well worth guaranteeing you don't **** your whole life up with a kid.

good luck with it, but don't blame it on her for not murdering the child (i'm pro life, naturally). it's your fault for being a ******* idiot and busting your nut inside a *****.

rookie mistake.

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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this thread really sucks. most of you guys are dicks, lol.

you made a mistake. if you run from it you are a huge coward. giant coward. you made your bed, so ******* sleep in it. don't be an idiot. give her time to make HER decision because YOU did this to HER, in your stupidity.

don't frame this so it's like she has an issue that's going to end up costing you something. it's a 50/50 proposition, jack. it's JUST as much your fault for doing it.

All this is wrong because of the first paragraph:

Originally Posted by deranged

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I dated this girl for 4 weeks - we'll call her 1. 1 was on the pill (tricyclen lo). i didn't pull out when we had sex, ever, because she wanted it inside her. i never ever actually saw her take the pill but i've seen them in her bag. she claims she took them everyday, sometimes maybe a couple of hours late. we had a conversation prior to sex and she said if she was to ever get pregnant, she would get rid of it. she's in 4th year university like i am. I never believed that she would be so stupid to risk her career for a child.

She was on the ******* pill:

in all likelihood she didn't take it because of HER neglect. or because she's a crazy ***** (which she sounds like given her drinking and smoking).




Say she did everything right and took the pills everyday and by some chance she still got pregnant (very, very, very ******* unlikely).

Why be on the pill in the first place if you're gonna decide to keep the baby?
I mean, unless she has a moral issue with abortion (which she doesn't seem to have because she stated previously that she'd have an abortion, and the fact that it's even an option shows that she doesn't think it's wrong).


She tricked him. This is her fault.

Originally Posted by bkstone

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Are you religious? If so I think your religion is effecting your view. I notice when you said "killing a child". I'm against child-killing, but there is no child-killing, there is a fetus (and very early at that), which is tissue and cells. That is not a child.
i'm an atheist. in fact, in my spare time i tease my friends and relatives about their ridiculous religious beliefs. i'm a hard atheist. i'm also fairly liberal, too. i just don't buy into killing babies.

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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i just don't buy into killing babies.
Lol I think the situation is a bit different if the kid is actually born already. But let's not derail this into an "is a two-week old fetus a human" discussion.

Originally Posted by hendrix

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All this is wrong because of the first paragraph:



She was on the ******* pill:

in all likelihood she didn't take it because of HER neglect. or because she's a crazy ***** (which she sounds like given her drinking and smoking).




Say she did everything right and took the pills everyday and by some chance she still got pregnant (very, very, very ******* unlikely).

Why be on the pill in the first place if you're gonna decide to keep the baby?
I mean, unless she has a moral issue with abortion (which she doesn't seem to have because she stated previously that she'd have an abortion, and the fact that it's even an option shows that she doesn't think it's wrong).


She tricked him. This is her fault.

any time you bust your nut inside of a girl you risk pregnancy. plain and simple.

kind of like shooting your friend in the chest and saying "well he said he was wearing a bulletproof vest."

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

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Lol I think the situation is a bit different if the kid is actually born already.

But let's not derail this into an "is a two-week old fetus a human" discussion.

precisely why i'm not elaborating on my opinions.

this thread is about sociopaths, not abortions.

Originally Posted by MetroStyles

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But let's not derail this into an "is a two-week old fetus a human" discussion.

yup.

the point is that neither the OP nor his ex have a moral problem with abortion, so the decision should be ******* easy.


otherwise, what's the point in being on the pill in the first place if you do actually want to have a baby?

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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any time you bust your nut inside of a girl you risk pregnancy. plain and simple.

kind of like shooting your friend in the chest and saying "well he said he was wearing a bulletproof vest."



Of course there's a risk, but if she's on the pill and she said that she'd have an abortion if she got pregnant, the risk is ******* zero.

plan 1: the pill works (which it damn sure does, almost better than condoms)
plan 2: the pill doesn't work, she gets an abortion.


since she's said she doesn't have a problem with abortion, she's being deceptive if she doesn't take plan 2.

Originally Posted by bkstone

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I don't buy into killing babies either, but there is no baby here. Yeah I agree.
you're obviously not very smart. you start a debate about whether or not a 2 week old fetus is a baby, then you say "lets not discuss if it's a baby"

Originally Posted by hendrix

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Of course there's a risk, but if she's on the pill and she said that she'd have an abortion if she got pregnant, the risk is ******* zero. plan 1: the pill works (which it damn sure does, almost better than condoms) plan 2: the pill doesn't work, she gets an abortion. since she's said she doesn't have a problem with abortion, she's being deceptive if she doesn't take plan 2.
he shouldn't have busted inside of her. we all know women **** up with the pill sometimes or it doesn't work all the time, and we all know women change their minds like they change their heels. don't bust inside of her = no baby. plain and simple. he did the crime, he'll do the time. 18-life. enjoy it.

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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you're obviously not very smart. you start a debate about whether or not a 2 week old fetus is a baby, then you say "lets not discuss if it's a baby"
You're clearly very strongly opinionated on this matter and are misconstruing what bkstone is talking about. Also, I'm going to point out that even if he did pull out, pre-*** can still impregnate a girl

OP, do you have a contingency plan (no plan B joaks please) in case its yours and she has it?

Do you have dual citizenship with China? Does the US enforce Canadian child support?