So, help me change my name.  Yeah, seriously. I did make the thread as a joke, but to be more serious, it's something I've been thinking about for a few years know, with rather little to show for it. Of course, asking anyone, let alone strangers on an internet forum is not terribly useful for this sort of thing, but strangers do have a unique perspective. So I'm curious what, if any, suggestions you may have. My name is Steven. I agree with Elliott Smith's sentiments, "And also, like, there’s no good versions of it, ya know like there’s, Steven … Steven is like sort of too … hard to say, and kind of like, bookish. Steve is like … like jockish, sorta. Big handsome Steve, big shirtless Steve, ya know, like football playin’ blond haired Steve. Ya know? I didn’t like it." I am not a Steven. Never have felt it's my name, and I never have felt any real attachment to it whatsoever. My last name is a hyphenated disaster, a linguistic ball and chain that has caused me no end of problems. I have no real attachment to either side of my family, nor either of my two ethnicities. One friend suggested David, but Judeo-Christian connotations seem particularly unfitting. Another suggested Caiden (Caide is pretty managable as a shortened form), but it sits precariously on a knife's edge of yuppiedom, and it's becoming more common— and nothing is any good if other people like it. I submit as unequivocal proof: I have a good idea of what I want as a middle name, but feel free to toss up suggestions. Picking a last name has been hell. Culturally, they're family names, and I've got rather little of that and no real connection to it, which makes it quite awkward. I suppose it's the kind of place one would be tempted to shove a literary reference, but I've found none suitable, and not much else has seemed to fit. So, I need a new name. Preferably within one month. Provided by complete strangers. Go!