Things your dumb friends post on facebook

[Mr Martini]

Lately my facebook has been getting filled with,"bet you cant think of a fruit that doesnt have an a in it" Or " bet you cant think of a city in the state of illinois that doesnt have this vowel" Im about to do "bet you cant give me a reason why i should give a ****"

 

[Godot]

I think a lot of people on FB are at the stage of life when they are being taught about vowels and consonants and verbs and nouns. At least their not telling you about their cats. Wait till next semester when they start telling you about adverbs and adjectives.

 

[otc]

My favorite comment on it is "Regardless If this is true or not we should always live for Christ and be ready for his return."

edit: or the person who said they were going to run out and get the necklace or bracelet version before it switches to being implant only.

 

[lawyerdad]



I think a lot of people on FB are at the stage of life when they are being taught about vowels and consonants and verbs and nouns. At least their not telling you about their cats. Wait till next semester when they start telling you about adverbs and adjectives.

When do they learn about homonyms?

 

[acidboy]

post is not dumb, but its from tagut... but I like it:

While it is common to think of these early years of the 21st Century as being culturally nondescript, I believe posterity will remember the mid-2000-naughts as being a high-water mark for douchebaggery. Much like the frog in the proverbial boiling pot, however, we were unable to identify it as a cultural current at the time simply because it was coming at us from all possible directions— not just from the epithetically "douchy" Ed Hardy douchetards, but also from the hipsters, hypebeasts, emos, truthers, new atheists, boot-up-your-ass jingoists, moveon.org militants, crunk rappers, rock bands whose names were two words smushed together, Howard Dean's presidential campaign, and, of course, the overall apogee of bottle-service cuntnugget club culture. It was truly a dark night of the soul, and I hope that we are now in the hypnopompia of this, our national nightmare.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

How come everything Rob writes comes off like a dissertation?

 

[tagutcow]



How come everything Rob writes comes off like a dissertation?

I have paid my dues in wang joaks.

 

[Gibonius]



My favorite comment on it is "Regardless If this is true or not we should always live for Christ and be ready for his return."

edit: or the person who said they were going to run out and get the necklace or bracelet version before it switches to being implant only.

wtf is with these "Mark of the Beast" weirdos?

 

[Gibonius]



post is not dumb, but its from tagut... but I like it:

I have paid my dues in wang joaks.

Tagut will be happy to know that I removed /r/atheist from the list of stuff that shows up on the Reddit frontpage. Insufferable group of people, that.

 

[tagutcow]



Tagut will be happy to know that I removed /r/atheist from the list of stuff that shows up on the Reddit frontpage. Insufferable group of people, that.

Have you seen this?

Spoiler

Boanus points:

 

[tagutcow]



Update: Ugh, this guy is killing me. Can anyone here get past the third or fourth line of this "poem"? If so, you're a stronger man than I, who had to bow out after "lunch",-- quite possibly the least poetic word in the English language!

...not sure why i am awake at this time, but i was thinking while trying to fall asleep again and i ended up writing some poems and lyrics so i guess that's good...now it's time to go to sleep again...here's one lengthy poem i wrote off the top of my head and just finished(if some wording is off at the end it's cuz i am tired tho not asleep and not focused as im now getting sleepy again)...it seems pretty good to describe my ideal girl tho

A Girl for Me

I want a girl who smiles at my touch
a girl who I can lay with just holding her
I want a girl who wants to have lunch
Just for the sake of me wanting to see her
I want a girl who laughs more than she cries
but isn't afraid to see me in tears in sad times
I want a girl who can challenge my mind
but who is also random and silly at times
I want a girl who my sisters could admire
who is honest and loyal with passion like fire
I want a girl who is unique and creative
who can inspire me to want to be like her
I want a girl who is strong and stubborn
who is wild and crazy and a fun-hunter
I want a girl who loves being herself
who is just real and it's easy to tell
I want a girl who could put me thru hell
yet kiss it away while her eyes cast a spell
I want a girl whose smell is alluring
yet stronger is her voice so assuring
I want a woman who knows what she wants
who would rather her beautiful and sexy than hot
I want a woman who is tough and clever
with complexities that go on forever
I want a woman who defeats my wit
whether with similar or making fun of it
I want a woman who knows my weakness
yet gives me strength if I let her onto it
I want a lady who is enticing in nature
in such a way I could love to hate her
I want a lady who attracts all attention
but only returns it when it's worthwhile intention
I want a lady who knows a gentleman
who wont settle for less just cause she easily can
I want a girl who is laid back in thinking
but in serious times can act so completely
I want a girl who wants an adventure
yet could find it also in simple “no spenders”
I want a girl who can listen and know
yet considers herself the star of life's show
I want a girl who is selfless and giving
who is also consciously forgiving
I want a girl who will let me take care of her
yet will do the same for me if I too allow her
I want a girl who is talented and funny
yet isn't “too perfect” and doesnt need to be
I want a girl who strives for the best
just like me yet a perfectionist less
I want a girl who values imperfection
realizing it allows us special differentiation
I want a girl who has a firey spirit
able to be persuasive and who can be livid
I want a girl who is dangerous to love
but is so worth it when one gives enough
I want a girl who is cute as much as sexy
who must also be described with undeniably pretty
I want a girl who has true beauty inside
who can keep hopes and dreams and joy alive
I want a girl who doesn't pre judge
yet makes good choices when it must be done
I want the girl who will try anything once
but knows what she really should stick with when she has had enough
I want the girl who seems like a dream
but is down to Earth enough to be a real ideal for me
I want the girl who has her own hopes and dreams
with goals set for reaching them with or without me
I want the girl who is fine on her own
yet prefers my company much more than being alone
I want the girl who is like none other
who is different even from her father and mother
I want the girl who cares for those around her
holding friends close like sisters and brothers
I want the girl who sets a standard above those around her
even beating all who came before and challenging those after
I want the girl who will dance and let go
who isn't afraid to put on a show
I want the girl who could make me sing for fun
unlike everyone else because she really is the only one
The girl who could get me to dance with her and let go as well
The girl who would never give up when persistence is needed
The girl who should stop when I say but doesn't, taking what I dealt
The girl who will correct me when wrong but lift me up when I'm defeated
The girl who gives me energy just from a thought of her
While never leaving my mind for a minute or more
The girl who makes me smile at a random nonsensical hour
While happy at the thought of me, hopefully even more
This is the girl I want to love and cherish
This is the woman I could marry
This is the lady I could see myself with
This is the girl I hope to already know or meet
This is the one girl made just for me
I wonder when I will know there is a girl for me​

Okay, so now this same guy is pimping his fantasy-genre ebook:

hey, if u guys happen to read my book (especially if u purchased it from amazon since the ebook there seems to sell most as far as i can tell) and u enjoy it even a little, i would very much appreciate ratings and comments on barnesandnoble.com and/or amazon.com so it might be noticed more easily when people who don't know me browse the sites...thanks much!

I'm tempted to buy it just to see how turdulent it really is.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

Tagut, play nice. Just because you're an accomplished essayist, doesn't give you the right to crap on the hopes and dreams of the less talented.

 

[Godot]



My favorite comment on it is "Regardless If this is true or not we should always live for Christ and be ready for his return."

edit: or the person who said they were going to run out and get the necklace or bracelet version before it switches to being implant only.

I don't think the government needs such a device as long as we report every thought and activity to FB on our PCs & mobile devices as soon as they occur. What ever happened to those diaries that had locks on them so no one else could read your innermost thoughts & feelings?

 

[Godot]



When do they learn about homonyms?

I think that was dropped somewhere along the time they stopped teaching cursive.

 

[Harold falcon]

Tagut you could buy my book. No poems in that at all. Promise.