Things you just don't get

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by tiecollector, Jul 3, 2009.

  1. Gibonius

    Gibonius Senior member

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    Also: politics. Many states don't want to admit that their current drug cocktails aren't ideal for executions, as it would open them up to lawsuits. So they just double down on the current regime.


    Guillotine is supposedly one of the most humane and reliable methods.
     


  2. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    if a drug cocktail isn't particularly good at killing people, then maybe think about a new recipe? after you knock somebody out, just blast them full of rat poison. or just give them too much of that medicine that knocks them out, things shouldn't be so complicated that they get botched 7% of the time (according to something I read earlier today)
     


  3. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    also, lol at the notion of an unreliable guillotine.
     


  4. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    Lyndon Baines. Johnson. Took over as President after JFK was killed. A truly despicable man who entrenched our nation in Vietnam and declared a "war on poverty" which continues to this day and threatens to bankrupt our country.
     


  5. HRoi

    HRoi Senior member

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    I too don't grasp this notion of unreliable executions. Seems like a very simple problem to solve. But then again, I don't expect to win any human rights awards in my lifetime
     


  6. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    if you're an executioner, what are the odds that you also have a linked in profile?


    i feel like an executioner would fit an easily stereotyped profile - cranky old person. it'd be awesome if there was an executioner named Darren who was young, active, an intense college basketball fan, and who had a tight group of friends, mostly former jocks.

    "yo, D-bone, meet up on Thurs night?"


    "can't man, Alfie the rapist has to go night night, but i can probably catch up later on in the night if you want. I'll holler at you after I zip him up"
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2014


  7. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    Yeah, were's Iyn Payne when you need him?
     


  8. HRoi

    HRoi Senior member

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    And how do you acquire the services of one? Is there something like an Angie's list for executioners?

    This isn't the days of Henry VIII when he had every woman he had sex with executed. The demand isn't there for a full time gig anymore. So prisons either need a guy they can call, or have some random prison guard do it
     


  9. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    i want to know how an interview would go. and then the discussion after between management.

    "lots of strong candidates, but i'm most impressed with Jeffrey."




    and if it's a random guard who does it, how do they pick who gets to be the lucky drug pusher? The world's most serious game of rock-paper-scissor?
     


  10. HRoi

    HRoi Senior member

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    "I agree, Jeffrey is the most well rounded candidate. Dexter has better qualifications, and he aced the skills test, but he seemed to enjoy it a bit too much"
     


  11. Douglas

    Douglas Stupid ass member

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    I met an executioner once. I was in a service organization in high school that also brought in interesting speakers to come talk to us. The facilitator later was accused of being a pedophile, which was pretty much commonly known by all the guys that were members (it was an all-boys "club") but he was also a local judge. I am as close as I could possibly be to 100% certain he never touched anybody, but it was not uncommon for him to invite people to play tennis at his club and have a look at the merch.

    But I digress.

    This guy had an incredible knack for landing amazing speakers to come talk to this group, without any speaker fees. We had dozens of pro sports figures, notable news figures, Supreme Court justices, etc., also mixed in with oddball people from the news - one guy who had tackled a gunman shooting at the White House, and one day the executioner who performed the first execution in MD in several decades.

    The guy was really interesting; he was so, so precise and clinical in his description of his duties; totally detached from the emotion of it like some kind of automaton. People tried to argue with him and bait him and he was really patient and mature and admirable and even-toned but also open (factually) in answering every question in thorough detail. It was fascinating and has stuck with me to this day.
     


  12. gomestar

    gomestar Super Yelper

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    "Jeffrey it is, we'll send him an offer letter tomorrow afternoon. In the interim, can you put together an email note introducing him to the team?"



    "how's this:

    Welcome Jeffrey!

    Please join me in welcoming Jeffrey to the Springfield county execution team as the lead executioner. Jeffrey will start with us on April 31st. Before joining us, Jeffrey was the assistant executioner at the Fairfax County Correctional facility where he oversaw the successful execution of 13 convicts. Jeffrey brings an excellent skill set, and he is excited to join the team.

    Please be sure to give him a warm welcome to the team"
     


  13. zarathustra

    zarathustra Senior member

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    Was going to post this. Little messy, but hey gets the job done right the first time.
     


  14. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Senior member

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    The moment after your head rolls off your body, are there a few seconds where your brain is conscious of the fact that it's been beheaded? Can you still "see" for a couple seconds?

    I'd imagine it's not an instantaneous death..
     


  15. ethanm

    ethanm Senior member

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    Apparently maybe up to 13 seconds?

    Fuck me that sucks.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2014


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