serious question - when did you become a man?

[teddieriley]

13, when I had my batmitzvah, and I'm not even Jewish.

 

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by teddieriley

13, when I had my batmitzvah, and I'm not even Jewish.
I always thought you were a dude!

 

[Connemara]

Globe, your obsession with manliness is weird. Are you overcompensating for something?

 

[MetroStyles]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I guess it comes down to your definition.

my difinition came down to self sufficiency - I don't think that that is the only, or the best. the idea of the discussion would be to look at others.

To me, becoming a man has nothing to do with self-sufficiency. Or rather, to become a man you need to be self-sufficient, but that alone does not make you a man. Perhaps I can put it most succintly like this:

A man is someone who has lived in the world, stepped back from it and surveyed it, used his experience and his abstract thought to make sense of it on a unique, personal level, and stepped back in to live it with his self-developed convictions, goals, and beliefs.

Using the definition above, it's difficult to become a man before one's late 20s or 30s, if even then. I believe that most males never become men - they simply become very efficient members of their particular society, having never stepped back to reflect on the world and pave their own way.

 

[micbain]

At 25. My brother died and along with him any linkage I had left to my childhood. It made me realize that life's a *****.

 

[wmmk]

Originally Posted by Vito

Every boy becomes a man when he starts to solve more problems than he creates. For me, it happened at approx. age 30.
This makes a lot of sense. In that sense, Amish teenagers are greater men than most politicians. I like that.

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Maybe you're an adult when you internalize the fact that you're going to die someday? That would make most people children and adulthood fraught with peril.
Interesting. I'd like to think that I've internalized that idea, but I'm not really sure whether the rest of my life reflects it. When does one know he has internalized an idea to the greatest extent to which it can be internalized? Does he simply know this on a visceral level?

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Maybe you're an adult when you internalize the fact that you're going to die someday? That would make most people children and adulthood fraught with peril.

I was a man at nine then. Coming home from school one day, to find your old man has gone teats up, will do that to you.

 

[RJman]

Originally Posted by gdl203

When I lived on my own half-way around the globe for a rather long period of time.
Nope. Didn't do it.

Originally Posted by hopkins_student

I became a man the first time I took off a piece of someone's skull and sucked a bloodclot out of their head.
That'd do it.

 

[Nouveau Pauvre]

Originally Posted by Magician

"They say you come twice the first time - and now I understand. I came once inside of her, then I became a man"

-Murs

bumpin this cuz its prescient.

 

[theincumbent]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

that sort of brings us to Vito's answer - and it ties in with my concept of self reliance.

I think about Connie (no offense meant) and figure he would die in a few minutes if somebody wasn't taking care of him. and that seems to be a marker of a boy. the more you can deal with your problems without having somebody take care of you, the more of an adult you are.

Agreed. I believe I reached adulthood at 18. I remember on the night before my 18th birthday waking up with a panic attack realizing I was entirely on my own. For me, the mark of adulthood is not having a safety net.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

What characteristics do you feel define adulthood?

Huh? I said the the attribution of qualifiers like manhood,, adulthood, etc was apparently important to Globe but not to me. That's all...

 

[dfagdfsh]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Huh? I said the the attribution of qualifiers like manhood,, adulthood, etc was apparently important to Globe but not to me. That's all...

The jungle creed says that the strongest feed, on any prey it can. I was branded beast, at every feast, before I ever became a man.

 

[Eason]

I travel around the world on my own, I support myself entirely, but I don't consider myself "grown up", that term only has negative connotations for me. It seems pretty arbitrary, as well. What is considered "being an adult"? A shift in attitude where you stop enjoying life? Why do you even have to do that?

 

[Connemara]

I get a $10k/month allowance from mummy and daddy. I'm all grown up!

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by gdl203

When I lived on my own half-way around the globe for a rather long period of time.
Yup, I am with Greg on this. I was 18 when I moved to the US as a student. Totally a little lost boy along way from lil-ol-Adelaide where I grew up. Lost and lonely two hemispheres from home. When I managed to learn how to contend with that, make my own way in the world, I grew up pretty quickly. It took me a while, so I went with 19.