Met this chick and I practically screwed myself.

[Geoff Gander]

Originally Posted by polo votarient

What the heck, I talk to chicks older than me and dont have a problem, talk to chick younger than me and dont have a problem, and now this girl my age I completly screw up?!?!
First off, +1000 to all the posters who said to forget this girl. If I received texts from a girl like the ones you say you sent to her, I'd ignore her messages, too. I know your interest is real, but you need to accept that you put your foot in it. Walk away having learned the lesson. Second, you mentioned at least twice in this thread that you've talked with slightly older women with no issues. If they are interested, what's the big deal? You're 20, she's 24 (25, 26...). You're both still very young, and if she's attractive and you have a good time with her, enjoy it for God's sake! Don't focus on the age. Focus on the person and what they can offer you in a relationship.

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by FLMountainMan

Tagut - you're funny as hell on this site, and probably are in person too. Just pick up the phone. Seriously. My stuttering-didn't-kiss-a-girl-till-I-was-nineteen-ass can do it, you can too. I know rejection sucks, but with rejection, oddly enough, comes confidence. Just my two cents. Granted, I look like Cody Linley, but still.....
Well thanks. I'm thinking of starting a dedicated thread about this. IRL I have a pretty dry sense of humor that rears its head at fairly unexpected times. It's not something I turn on or off, and certainly nobody would describe me as a wild and crazy guy. As my emotional state has worsened over the years, it is possible I may have grown even more reserved, though I'm not 100% sure of that. I will say, however, that my problem has nothing to do with nervousness or insecurity. While I have many things weighing down on my shoulders, an inferiority complex isn't one of them. From what I read on the internet, having to gin up the confidence to talk to a woman is a huge thing for many guys, even guys who are considerably experienced than I am. What to actually say once you start talking is assumed to be a trivial thing. That's the problem with advice over the internet; everybody reduces your problems to the problems that are familiar to them, and everyone assumes that the particulars of your situation are the particulars of their situation ("When you go clubbing with your bros this weekend, try doing this…") That's why all the bro-y platitudes are of no use to me. "Girls like guys who are confident." Guys who are confident in what exactly? Confidence isn't a complete idea unto itself, it requires some outcome in which to be confident. Is confidence the confidence that when I ask a girl for her name, she'll tell me? Yes, of that I am fairly confident. Am I confident that I will be able to draw the conversation out much beyond introductions? No, not really. Am I confident in the fact that even when the conversation fails after 45 seconds, she will continue to stand by my side just to bask in my radiant tagutosity? Again, not realistically. "Act like you're not interested." Well geez, if she were an ugly dude I wouldn't even be making the effort. Seeing the stuff willpower wrote, and reading the transcripts people write of their conversations with women (all from SF, nobody ever talks to me about this stuff IRL), is just bewildering to me. There's no way I'd be able to BS my way through a conversation like that. I'll probably need SFers to compose some boilerplate, one-size-fits-all script I can use in every situation, that would keep anything requiring me to think on my feet to an absolute minimum. Even on OKCupid, I end up banging my head against the computer screen for half an hour trying to think of something- anything- to say. And yet so much of the advice is insulting at the same time. I overheard a guy telling abother guy , "Don't feel you have to agree with everything the woman says." Really? Guys have to be told not to necessarily with everything a woman says!?! And yet this is a guy who is still much, much better at initiating conversations than I am. I guess my problems are far more fundamental. Much of the the received wisdom on this subject seems both to be beneath me, and yet pitched over my head at the same time.

 

[Stazy]

Lots going on in your post tagut...In terms of being confident I think that really means just playing up to your strengths. You have a dry sense of humor. Great. Use it. That's all it comes down to. If you don't have an outlet for your strengths than find one. If you're not comfortable going to clubs than take some arts classes, a public speaking course, join a bible study. Anything.

I swear I'm the most awkward guy in a crowd but I know it's all in my head so I put myself in situations that are purposely challenging. Once you just do it you realize it's not that bad. Force yourself to introduce yourself. Not just to the cuties but to the old hags as well. Just work on getting comfortable being around people.

 

[willpower]

Originally Posted by Stazy

My point is that there is lots of room in between:

Desperate

&



Both are equally pathetic in my opinion.

Completely agree. Mystery is a Halloween costume.

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by Stazy

Lots going on in your post tagut...In terms of being confident I think that really means just playing up to your strengths. You have a dry sense of humor. Great. Use it. That's all it comes down to. If you don't have an outlet for your strengths than find one. If you're not comfortable going to clubs than take some arts classes, a public speaking course, join a bible study. Anything.

Yeah, sometimes I take salsa lessons on Saturdays, just not enough to be any good. I need to figure out more things to do. I tried going to some art things around here and it was just brutally lonely for me.

I never got the hang of the whole clubbing thing. I am a disgrace to my Italian heritage.

You wouldn't believe how many days a week I don't meet anyone at all. I get an average of maybe one phone call a week these days.

I swear I'm the most awkward guy in a crowd but I know it's all in my head so I put myself in situations that are purposely challenging. Once you just do it you realize it's not that bad. Force yourself to introduce yourself. Not just to the cuties but to the old hags as well. Just work on getting comfortable being around people.

Like I said, being uncomfortable isn't really my problem. In clubs where there's no pool table and nothing to do but mill around and socialize, I end up bored, then lonely, then angry.

 

[fathergll]

Originally Posted by Stazy

My point is that there is lots of room in between:

Desperate

&



Both are equally pathetic in my opinion.



Clearly this entire thread is over your head if you think anyone has suggested this kid mimic Mystery.

 

[Stazy]

Originally Posted by fathergll

Clearly this entire thread is over your head if you think anyone has suggested this kid mimic Mystery.
Please differentiate between the advice in this thread and this video:
IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags. Cheesy dialogue: Check Play-by-play rules: Check Over generalizations: Check

 

[West24]

yeah im with tagut. some of the advice is so ridiculous. you dont have to do anything! just say what you feel like (to an extent). change things around on her? like wtf. ive sent some of the most ridiculous texts and it just matters on the girl. some girls love stupid humour like mine, and some dont. the ones that dont its fine because during the date it would just be akward as hell. just be you and thats it. obviously some guys are akward as hell etc. but remember theres no rules with girls. ive picked up girls and they pretty much blew me off after, then three weeks later i get a text saying shes in bed lonely and i should come over etc. ive also had girls i picked up so on to me and then bam a week after you never hear from them again. thats life!

 

[fathergll]

Originally Posted by Stazy

Please differentiate between the advice in this thread and this video:

How does this suggest that anyone in this thread told the OP to mimic Mystery? I understand you were trying to be a smartass about all the "crap" advice that was given and you posted a picture of the most over the top/famous PUA guy out there as if that had to be your identity if the OP actually learned something about this subject.

Funny you haven't disputed one thing I quoted you on in the previous page. Try working on that instead of trying to search for obscure Mystery videos on youtube.

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by tagutcow

I'll probably need SFers to compose some boilerplate, one-size-fits-all script I can use in every situation, that would keep anything requiring me to think on my feet to an absolute minimum.

I'm your man.

And yet so much of the advice is insulting at the same time. I overheard a guy telling abother guy , "Don't feel you have to agree with everything the woman says." Really? Guys have to be told not to necessarily with everything a woman says!?!

That sounds like advice I would give. It's good advice. Lots of dudes just think 'if I disagree with her then she'll never like me'. It's true. They do. It's sad.

 

[Frostedbutts]

Just a protip for anyone with no game like OP:

A creepy sentence is still a creepy sentence whether you add a smiley face or not.

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by Matt

I'm your man.
Take his advice!!!! Matt's advice is what got Hot Waitress to **** me. Many times.

 

[Rambo]

Originally Posted by Matt

That sounds like advice I would give. It's good advice. Lots of dudes just think 'if I disagree with her then she'll never like me'. It's true. They do. It's sad.
Wait. So you're advocating agreeing or disagreeing?

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

Take his advice!!!! Matt's advice is what got Hot Waitress to **** me. Many times.
What was the advice?

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by Rambo

What was the advice?
TBH, I don't remember many specifics now, since it was way back in July. Mostly it was a couple of things to say or how to say it. What kind of **** to put up with but what kind of stuff to tell her is stupid, etc. To challenge her on bullshit instead of listening to it. Just basic stuff like that. All his advice worked so well that he said he'd created a monster and changed his avatar to Cookie Monster for a while.

 

[Rambo]

I need this advice Matt. Post up the specifics, wise Jedi Master, or shoot me a PM. I'm way too rusty.