Met this chick and I practically screwed myself.

[Blackfyre]

This thread is sad.

Tagut, don't you play pool? Pool is a good way to open up a conversation, especially if you're good.

 

[willpower]

Originally Posted by tagutcow

Seeing the stuff willpower wrote, and reading the transcripts people write of their conversations with women (all from SF, nobody ever talks to me about this stuff IRL), is just bewildering to me.
tag - I wrote that stuff just as a general guideline to help out a guy who is completely at a loss when it comes to interacting with potential dates/mates. It's for those who are 18-25 - the age that many women are aroused by the "bad boy" type, and the OP is 20. It's not a one size fits all template.

 

[Big T]

You need to buy yourself a black T-shirt that has three (not one, not two, but three) wolves on it, howling at the moon. No woman can resist a wolf T-shirt.

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by Matt

I'm your man.
Fire away. So I'm somewhere by myself, I don't know anyone there, I see an apparently single girl by herself (which is actually pretty rare), I go up to her and say…

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

Take his advice!!!! Matt's advice is what got Hot Waitress to **** me. Many times.
I thought Hot Waitress fucked you one! In any case, I look forward to having imaginary victories of my own.

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

TBH, I don't remember many specifics now, since it was way back in July. Mostly it was a couple of things to say or how to say it. What kind of **** to put up with but what kind of stuff to tell her is stupid, etc. To challenge her on bullshit instead of listening to it. Just basic stuff like that. All his advice worked so well that he said he'd created a monster and changed his avatar to Cookie Monster for a while.
Well you must have already been having pretty in-depth conversations with her if these things were even an issue.

Originally Posted by Blackfyre

Tagut, don't you play pool? Pool is a good way to open up a conversation, especially if you're good.
Yeah, in fact my social life depends almost entirely on pool. As you might expect, it's not necessarily the best way of meeting women however. Actually, last Thursday I went to a local bar that's usually pretty dead (a friend of mine is the DJ there) and found it was packed with a flash mob of Guilford College students. I put quarters up and just started running the pool table… I've actually been playing extraordinarily well recently. A cute blonde girl comes up and says she wants to play. She doesn't have any quarters, but says that if I pay for the game, she'll buy me a beer if she loses. Seems fair enough to me. We play, I win, she buys me a beer, I talk with her here and there as best I can throughout the next hour or so (also, the music isn't blaringly loud here- I'm somewhat hard of hearing- so that makes it considerably easier.) Then she got invoved in some sort of fight and ended up leaving early.

Things always go easier for me when someone else initiates the conversation. Actually, getting approached by women used to be something that happened fairly regularly to me, but for some reason those approaches seem to have dried up. Probably just a result of me hanging around the same bars and the same crowds for too long. In any case, having that much interaction with a woman I don't already know is a once-in-a-blue-moon occurance these days. Who knows, maybe she'll be there next Thursday.

Originally Posted by willpower

tag - I wrote that stuff just as a general guideline to help out a guy who is completely at a loss when it comes to interacting with potential dates/mates. It's for those who are 18-25 - the age that many women are aroused by the "bad boy" type, and the OP is 20. It's not a one size fits all template.
See, now I just consider that another meaningless bro-y platitude. Pickup guru types say, "chick are attracted to bad boys", and then go on to prescribe behaviors that not only have little to do with most people's conception of bad boy behavior, but in fact can seem downright cornball. Do "bad boys" really start impromptu tic-tac-toe games and and ask strangers about what kind of gift they should buy for their imaginary friend's sister's birthday party?

 

[CDFS]

For true Badboy behaviour remember to only play the X.

It sounds like your environment may be one of the factors holding you back.

 

[edinatlanta]

Originally Posted by West24

when a girl seems desperate i instantly think shes crazy.

When a girl seems interested in you everyone knows shes crazy.

Originally Posted by Matt

...and one day one of them went outside and actually. spoke. to. a. woman

And what would that acheive?

Originally Posted by Rambo

+1. Also, who the hell is Cody Linley?

I laughed. Because I don't know either.

Originally Posted by tagutcow

stuff

Mostly you are thinking too much about this stuff (and I know because I'm doing the same). We're actualy really similar, not sure if thats

or

. Anyway, point is, stop thinking, just talk. I mean, its obvious there's alot going on with you, that's fine, same with me. Lots of SAD, general social incompetence etc. But just talking, going out, whenever you can (and I don't mean timewise or financially) will lead to success. I'm not saying you'll have tail all the time but this isn't rocket science or a great mystery, its just the hardest parts often just talking.

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by Rambo

Wait. So you're advocating agreeing or disagreeing?

oh i completely agree with me.

I advocate disagreeing, challenging them, and not being some kind of pushover dude who tells them everything that they do is "cool" and "awesome" and "my god i think the same way"...i tend to be deliberately difficult, ask them why, challenge their thought processes and motivations, and then toss a little NLP stuff in their direction about how they process information and develop their conclusions.

Works for me, not saying it's a cure all, but I have a low tolerance for crap...

What was the advice?

a few conversation starters and a few ways to take them on and mine their heads a little, and then a bit on making their insecurities work for you. Glad it worked out for him.

Originally Posted by tagutcow

Fire away.

So I'm somewhere by myself, I don't know anyone there, I see an apparently single girl by herself (which is actually pretty rare), I go up to her and say...

oh im not great at that to be honest. I'm good at dealing with women who I meet naturally. The last time I had to do the cold approach thing it was with the screaming hot sister of a screaming hot Indonesian DJ at a club about a year or so ago. Everyone else I have been with I have met basically naturally, with the exception of my current GF. That was unnatural. She's an SFer, and it does not get less natural than that.

Anyhow, with Miss Indonesia, I just went up to her and started chatting about Jakarta (her hometown, I'd visited on a boys trip shortly before, mentioned some clubs we went to and whatever) and then asked some crap that the iPUA dudes call an opinion opener or something. Mock if you will, but those things make for interesting conversation pieces....got her started on A Topic and I was away.

 

[edinatlanta]

Originally Posted by Matt

She's an SFer

o rly?

 

[Matt]

grossly unnatural.

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by Matt

grossly unnatural.

Tell us who she is so we can all send dictures say hai!

 

[Matt]

well there are only three choices and it isn't tomkate or michelleshock

 

[edinatlanta]

Originally Posted by Matt

well there are only three choices and it isn't tomkate or michelleshock

spb lady

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by Matt

well there are only three choices and it isn't tomkate or michelleshock

I. M. Yurdjieff?

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by tagutcow

I. M. Yurdjieff?

 

[spb_lady]

i thought it was a secret!