I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

[Joffrey]

Whatever "Sun King", you guys had a fling and she lost interest. Yes, it sucks and is annoying. Girls do it to guys all the time. Guys do it to girls all the time. It's the wild west of dating. Don't call or contact her again and move on. If you see her out act indiffirent and non-committal if she tries to make plans. Now, if you acting unavailable gets her to ask you to bang her, go for it but revert to your indifferent self afterwards.

TL;DR: Get over it and move on. There's plenty other talent out there.

 

[Gibonius]



It's a female way of saying she would much rather sleep with as many guys as possible at this moment of time than to be bothered to build a relationship with somebody who is up for something serious, like myself.

No, I think Ambulance had it right. She may be interested in a relationship, just not with you. That phrase isn't code for "I want to get banged by a new guy every week," it's code for "I'm going to let you go and look for somebody different." Happens all the time once you start getting to know someone, you decide it's not going to work out and move on.

 

[Louis XIV]

Joffrey, that is exactly what I am going to do.

Gibonius, actually I wanted to say that I thought you were wrong.
She said so many nice things to myself and also the spa strip and kissing happened at our latest "date" but now that I think of it, you might be right.
It doesn't need to mean that I have done something wrong or that she doesn't like me anymore, but maybe there is just something about myself/my life she just can't imagine to live with in a relationship.

It's a shame, I am an all-in or nothing kind of guy.
Either I truely like a girl from the first moment we meet and I put a lot of effort into the whole thing, so that I am of course interested in at least trying if a relationship works out for the two of us, or I am not interested at all.
Maybe I struggle because others/women handle things differently and only dare to start a relationship when there are already deep feelings involved while I tend to start to develope them only when already being in that very relationship for some time.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

@Louis - There is nothing wrong with enjoying someone's company and wanting something more serious. Women need to understand that not every guy out there has the "Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am!"-attitude. Craving stability and maturity in a relationship is admirable and I hope you can find someone who recognizes that. In all honesty and excuse my language, she sounds like a harlot. You don't need to waste time on women like that when you have so much more to offer.

 

[Louis XIV]

Thanks for all the encouraging and advisory words gentlemen, I am feeling a lot better now.
Just needed to share because I did not expect it to end that fast/even before something serious happened.
Life will go on.

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

It happens to all of us. A few years ago, I had what I thought was a really good first date with a woman I had met at a happy hour. I asked her out on a second date, and she responded that she was just out of a four-year relationship and not ready to start dating again. I took what she said literally and thought to myself, "Hmm . . . maybe she'll be ready in a few months." A few weeks later, I spotted her profile on match.com and sent her another e-mail. She came clean and told me that she wasn't really feeling it after the first date. At that point, a lightbulb went off in my head. When a woman says, "It's not you, it's me," she really means "It's you."

Move on and act civilly toward this woman the next time you see her.

 

[Louis XIV]

I know, I know.

Dating just plain annoys me.
I am in my mid twenties and have had two long relationships, 2 3/4 and almost 4 years, in the past.
I feel I know how to treat a woman and how to run a relationship but since almost two years things are just not working in my way and I feel it has something to do with the way I present myself while dating.
As I have told you earlier, I am not heads over heels for a lot of ladies but in those past two years I have been to dates with something like five girls I thought were interesting, but not a single encounter resulted in anything remotely close to a relationship.
Either the girl tells me on our third date that in fact she has a boyfriend studying somewhere out of town, the contact diminishes as soon as I reduce my calls/text messages calling for her to make it a healthy balance, or things like what happened today happen.
I never felt as if I bored them or if they grew tired of me, but rather fear I might be too serious about my education, relationships and also interested in things which may come off too 'old' for my peers.
I am not into partying, fashion, TV series or music festivals, but rather spend my money for things like fine dining, American bars, fancy leisure activities and tailored clothing/shoes.
While I get a lot of ahs and ohs for the restaurants I pick to have a date at and also seem to impress with my choices of smaller nice places to go to afterwards like authentic Italian ice cream parlours, lookout points, museums, underground theaters, arthouse cinemas etc. I constantly have to justify how I can afford all of it and am told that she would not be able to do it all of the time.
Yet again I am still a student myself and a young looking so, so I don't feel like looking for older women who have been working for some time would mean a solution to my problem.
Oh, and I want to say that I do never speak badly of girls that I have dated or gone out with in the past.
One of my earlier comments might come off wrongly.
I didn't want to say/indicate she was a whore, but that I have had to experience in the past that girls who said "not interested in a relationship (with you)" actually meant they prefered to have plenty of unbound sex instead.
Of course as long as I don't have any evidence this one is doing the same thing, in dubio pro reo.

 

[hendrix]



I know, I know.
I feel I know how to treat a woman and how to run a relationship but since almost two years things are just not working in my way and I feel it has something to do with the way I present myself while dating.

I never felt as if I bored them or if they grew tired of me, but rather fear I might be too serious about my education, relationships and also interested in things which may come off too 'old' for my peers.

Nope,

Nothing you've said has struck me as irrational.

In fact, you're one of the sanest people to have posted in this thread.

Stick to your guns man.

"Dating just plain annoys me."
I would say that you should try to enjoy it more. I know you say you're an "all or nothing" type of guy, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the process. As long as you're picking movies you like, food you like, places you like, taking them to parties with your friends whose company you'll enjoy etc. there's nothing to stop you from having a good time. And if they don't end up liking you, well, that's not your problem.

But otherwise I can't really see any of the glaringly obvious creep points from what you've said.

 

[Louis XIV]

Thanks hendrix for the kind words, much appreciated.

You guys know what? One door closed, means another door opened.
There was that blonde on her bike a few weeks ago, whom I asked for the way.
Somehow I was paralzed because that cute girl was both so friendly and helpful to myself and I forgot/was unable to ask if I could invite her for a drink in return.
Guess what, I stepped out of my normal routine and went to the cafeteria earlier than what I am used to today and she sits there just a few tables away with three of her friends.
When I noticed her and had the occasional glance to her table, I could observe those friends of her that were seated with their backs in my direction turning around to have a look at the hall, so I guessed she noticed and spoke to her friends about myself as well.
Waited till they had finished lunch and headed to return their trays and, oh surprise, her friends rushed away a bit in front of her so I could easily approach her to ask whether I could pay something back for the help she was to me earlier.
While I was shaking like crazy, I am certainly not good at approaching girls that I have absolutely no relation to, she was once again very friendly and open and now I am sitting here with a big smile on my face and her number in my hand.

 

[Fraiche]

^^

Good work soldier. Trying to get myself back to form.

 

[lasbar]



@Louis - There is nothing wrong with enjoying someone's company and wanting something more serious. Women need to understand that not every guy out there has the "Wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am!"-attitude. Craving stability and maturity in a relationship is admirable and I hope you can find someone who recognizes that. In all honesty and excuse my language, she sounds like a harlot. You don't need to waste time on women like that when you have so much more to offer.

How old are you Neo?

 

[Neo_Version 7]



How old are you Neo?

Twenty-three. People tell me that I'm wise beyond my years.

 

[lasbar]



Twenty-three. People tell me that I'm wise beyond my years.

You're marriage material..

Unfortunately , good guys like you only get the girls they love in their thirties after Mr Excitement broke their hearts..

 

[Neo_Version 7]



You're marriage material..
Unfortunately , good guys like you only get the girls they love in their thirties after Mr Excitement broke their hearts..

**** Mr. Excitement. I'm Mr. SExcitement. I break their anuses. ; )

 

[Fang66]



**** Mr. Excitement. I'm Mr. SExcitement. I break their anuses. ; )

How degrading.