I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

[RustyRyan]

Sound like a lot of us are in the same boat! I have been communicating and even hanging out with my ex for about the last month on a strictly platonic level. Her interest in me seemed to grow when she found out I was dating two other people and she has not been dating. She said she is genuinely confused and liked the idea of getting back together but is 'scared" and not ready for it. As much as I would like to get back together it is clear she has some issues to work out and I am not ready to put all my eggs in that basket again until she shows me she really wants it and is past some of our past issues. I have to agree that a pure friendship between us is impossible at this point...I probably would/will be upset if she starts seeing someone else. Not sure what to make of it all, but I feel a hell of a lot better than I did a when we broke up....

 

[poena]



Sound like a lot of us are in the same boat! I have been communicating and even hanging out with my ex for about the last month on a strictly platonic level. Her interest in me seemed to grow when she found out I was dating two other people and she has not been dating. She said she is genuinely confused and liked the idea of getting back together but is 'scared" and not ready for it. As much as I would like to get back together it is clear she has some issues to work out and I am not ready to put all my eggs in that basket again until she shows me she really wants it and is past some of our past issues. I have to agree that a pure friendship between us is impossible at this point...I probably would/will be upset if she starts seeing someone else. Not sure what to make of it all, but I feel a hell of a lot better than I did a when we broke up....

you hit it on the head.
the being scared and not wanting to put all my eggs into a basket, past issues and all that. I have talked to my ex and we both mentioned the same things you said here.

it's really hard to keep a clear head with all of this. it's so easy to slip back into "routine"

 

[gettoasty]

Yeah I guess about 1 month or a little more is not long to have stopped talking to ex.

6+ months SOUNDS like forever . . . damn. Making me rethink if i should be sending out the package to her. It does contain her things. Maybe after I send it out it will be OFFICIAL

And I thought I was doing well not picking up her call/text and email all this time.

Stay strong all!

 

[Joffrey]



Yo man, let me know how it turns out b/c I am in the exact same situation. After weeks (month?) of ignoring ex after she said she needed a break, she finally emailed me asking if I would like to take the puppy for the month like we agreed, every other month we would take turn caring for the pup. The email was literally once sentence long saying how I just disappeared cold and included the word "Anyways", which gives me the feeling like she doesn't care?? huh, reading into too much??

The worst part of me always thinks that this girl probably needs someone to babysit while she goes do her thing. The other part of me believes she still wants to maintain our friendship or w/e.

I have listen to all the wisdom you all had to offer also and it seems to be paying off, at least I feel so.

Not sure whether to reply back to email or continue to ignore. Full disclosure, I am actually mailing her a "care package" this Friday, sending back some of her belongings, money, and toys as it will be the pup's birthday very soon.

WTH am i doing with my life :ugh: I honestly feel like this some Hollywood screen written crap where I experienced some divorce, we share a child and I'm trying to be the good father while she is exploring her opportunities. Yeah and I keep telling myself that she's a nice girl

*dead*

You genuinely believe you two will share custody of a dog for the next 12-15 years of its life? Tell her to keep the beast.

 

[gettoasty]

if i had my way, i would be keeping the pup. personal attachment, i think dog owners in general can relate

 

[impolyt_one]

You gotta decide who takes the dog. Paper rock scissors or something. Can't move dogs around like that, they don't know what's going on.

 

[gettoasty]

impolyt with all your wisdom, i knew you would comment on that. what would you do? (rhetorical, you don't have to answer )

You are absolutely right about the whole moving back and forth thing. Even though we live like 10min driving, the former plan was to have the dog stay at our respective homes every other month. I think at this point, putting the dog first would be best. Have him stay somewhere more permanent.

 

[impolyt_one]

If you the want the dog and can provide a home for it permanently, then you can say you want the dog. If she can provide a home for the dog permanently, then she also gets a say. I know you're a student, or were one recently, are you living in a permanent place? In any case, you gotta decide between the two of you who has the better setup for keeping a dog until it's last day, and then if it's still not clear cut, you gotta flip a coin or something, and let it ride.

 

[Eason]



This isn't about a girlfriend (because F that), but this girl I've been hanging out with for the last two months and get along really well with just told me she thinks the Israelis were behind 9/11. Now I'm all for a healthy amount of skepticism about most things, but damn, really? I know it's a popular view in the Middle East, I just didn't expect to encounter it here. My jaw dropped and I just stammered when she said that. Luckily she just began Ramadan so I won't see her much for awhile, giving me a very convenient way to let things work themselves, and her, out.

I don't date crazies, this usually includes Muslims.

 

[lasbar]



I don't date crazies, this usually includes Muslims.

Racist..

 

[otc]



I don't date crazies, this usually includes strongly religious anything.

ftfy

 

[lasbar]



ftfy

Hypocrit.

 

[dune]

No religious people for me either, to be honest.

 

[Connemara]

Ugh. I've been hanging out with this girl who is totally not my usual type. Tattoos, short hair, into weird poetry readings and **** like that. We've hung out five, maybe six times (the last few have included sex) and I have come to find out that she is desperately insecure and has no self-esteem. If I don't respond to a text within 15 minutes, she'll say, "Did I offend you? I am so sorry. What's wrong with me." She is constantly apologizing for perceived slights. And she always says stuff like "I can't believe someone as great as you is interested in me. I'm so lucky, I am not used to this," etc.

So yeah she is pretty much nuts. And I don't feel the spark anymore. I am going to a quick dinner with her, and then to a performance of which she is a part. I think I need to let her down easy tonight but I feel terrible about it because she is so sensitive. Any recommendations?

 

[lasbar]



Ugh. I've been hanging out with this girl who is totally not my usual type. Tattoos, short hair, into weird poetry readings and **** like that. We've hung out five, maybe six times (the last few have included sex) and I have come to find out that she is desperately insecure and has no self-esteem. If I don't respond to a text within 15 minutes, she'll say, "Did I offend you? I am so sorry. What's wrong with me." She is constantly apologizing for perceived slights. And she always says stuff like "I can't believe someone as great as you is interested in me. I'm so lucky, I am not used to this," etc.

So yeah she is pretty much nuts. And I don't feel the spark anymore. I am going to a quick dinner with her, and then to a performance of which she is a part. I think I need to let her down easy tonight but I feel terrible about it because she is so sensitive. Any recommendations?

You're in the ****...

Insecure, low self-esteem and being dumped is not great omen for this over-sensitive EMO.

Are you ready for a night in ER with her?