Funerary attire.

[LabelKing]

Recently I passed by a Catholic funeral, and what did I see? Men in bowling shirts and polo shirts along with some in cheap black suits and sneakers.

They took the time and money to rent limousines and hearses, but bowling shirts?

It's times like these that make me wish Victorian mourning etiquette was still practiced.

 

[YoungFogey]

Maybe he was a much-loved member of a bowling team?


I keed.

 

[LabelKing]

It was really quite tacky--women in colorful sundresses and things that wouldn't look out of place at a derby.

I think most people these days only have one set of multipurpose dress clothes; and by the looks of it, it came from Sears.

 

[Manton]

When Apu Nahasapeemapetilon got is Pin Pal bowling shirt, he called it "a garment fine enough to be married in."

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by Manton

When Apu Nahasapeemapetilon got is Pin Pal bowling shirt, he called it "a garment fine enough to be married in."

But would you want to be caught dead in it?

 

[Thomas]

I served as a pallbearer earlier this week and went with charcoal suit, black shoes, white shirt, dark striped tie.

I was the only one so dressed.

A few of the gents wore decent suits, but things went sharply downhill from there.

And that business about limos and hearses, as I recall they are largely compulsory (particularly the hearse) and chosen solely by the immediate relatives.

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by Thomas

I served as a pallbearer earlier this week and went with charcoal suit, black shoes, white shirt, dark striped tie. I was the only one so dressed. A few of the gents wore decent suits, but things went sharply downhill from there. And that business about limos and hearses, as I recall they are largely compulsory (particularly the hearse) and chosen solely by the immediate relatives.
I think a black Mercedes 600 would look nice. I recall the various funerals in "Harold & Maude", and what a difference in attire compared to what I saw.

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

But would you want to be caught dead in it?

Me? No.

When my time comes, I may as well be buried in what I would have worn as a guest: dark gray SB suit with DB vest, white FC shirt, black grenadince tie, black sticth cap shoes, white linen square, black socks with white and gray clocks.

The only thing that I think should not be buried is my grandfather's pocket watch.

 

[TheFoo]

I've only been to three funerals. At two of them, all the men were in dark suits and all the women wore dark dresses. At the other one, people dressed casually: polo shirts, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, etc. I was the only one in a suit.

My guess is that nearly everyone knows what they should wear to a funeral and it just comes down to what people can afford. In the case where it would be an economic burden to wear something appropriately formal and somber, the deceased would probably prefer his loved ones not spend the money.

 

[LabelKing]

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I've only been to three funerals. At two of them, all the men were in dark suits and all the women wore dark dresses. At the other one, people dressed casually: polo shirts, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, etc. I was the only one in a suit.

My guess is that nearly everyone knows what they should wear to a funeral and it just comes down to what people can afford. In the case where it would be an economic burden to wear something appropriately formal and somber, the deceased would probably prefer his loved ones not spend the money.
I can't imagine that even financially disadvantaged people don't have a suit, or at least something more appropriate than polo shirts and jeans. That's simply egregious.

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by mafoofan

My guess is that nearly everyone knows what they should wear to a funeral and it just comes down to what people can afford.

I would not say this.

Most of the funerals I have attended have been in California, to mourn people whose friends were not poor, and who I know own the "right" clothes. But because California standars of dress are through the floor, they didn't. I think they really just had no idea. I wonder if they even know anymore why they own dark suits, because if you're not going to wear it to a loved one's funeral, when are you going to wear it?

 

[LabelKing]

People seem to take more care in dressing for weddings.

I partially attribute this lack of care for funerals to the modern attitudes of death. Weddings are "happy events;" funerals are (usually) not. People don't like to believe that they will die and so prefer to brush its associations off as quickly and casually as they can.

Unlike in Victorian times where death was something of a celebratory ritual, modern people seem to think that if they avoid the formal conventions of a funeral, it won't bother them so much. Some people are even afraid of open-casket funerals. It's all so sterile and unattractive.

 

[JLibourel]

I fear that a great many people dress badly for funerals these days, at least by the standards regnant in the forum culture. I can recall one funeral where the deceased's husband didn't wear necktie. (He did have a pocket square, though, to his credit). Sports shirts and polos are almost commonplace at many funerals.

Indubitably the tackiest (and the most fun) example of inappropriate dress was one funeral I attended where the deceased's two granddaughters attended wearing "belly shirts" that left their entire midsections from just below their boobs to low on their hips exposed. Fortunately, they were pretty good eye-candy with nice shapely bodies, so the sexy spectacle they presented provided a pleasant distraction from the sorrowful solemnity of the occasion. I know I told this anecdote before in forumland, so my apologies to those who find it repititious. I was one of the few mourners in a suit and tie at that funeral, I might add by way of a postcript

Having one set of "multipurpose dress clothes" is not so heinous if the clothes are chosen with taste and with an eye for versatility. If I didn't enjoy dressing well, I could probably be reasonably well clad for almost any event where I needed to "dress up" with a dressy wardrobe anchored by nothing more than a navy blue suit, a blue blazer and an earth-tone tweed jacket. It would be horribly boring, though, both for me and for those who had occasion to interact socially with me with any frequency.

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

People seem to take more care in dressing for weddings.

I attribute this lack of care for funerals to the modern attitudes of death. Weddings are "happy events;" funerals are (usually) not. People don't like to believe that they will die and so like to brush it off as quickly and casually as they can.

Unlike in Victorian times where death was something of a celebratory ritual, modern people seem to think that if they avoid the formal conventions of a funeral, it won't bother them so much.
Plus, unliked at a wedding, the guest of honor won't hold your lousy clothes against you.

But I imagine the widow and other close kin might.

 

[TheFoo]

Originally Posted by LabelKing

I can't imagine that even financially disadvantaged people don't have a suit, or at least something more appropriate than polo shirts and jeans. That's simply egregious.

In the past, I might have agreed with you. But then I met my fiancee's family and saw how hard they work to make ends meet. When you're living paycheck to paycheck, a single suit can be a huge burden. There are just too many other things that are more important: food, bills, insurance, tuition, etc. Even if you could swing $100 for a suit, you'd feel guilty you didn't use it for one of those things instead.