Do Women Change After Marriage?

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

High fidelity is so funny, def top5 movie about indie music nerds.

I have only found 2 movies worth buying, and that is one of them. The top 5 lists idea makes me laugh. Before I became terminally uncool, I used to try to make the most eclectic playlists, and a lot of times was to impress girls.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

Sorry, but this is not how finding a Sig O works.

+1

 

[mschm]

Love my wife, love my kids. My life is better with 'em by far, and I thought I had it MADE before getting married. I didn't know what I was missing. While I know it doesn't work out for everyone this way, if you pick carefully and are able to change together, it's great. We have both changed very little over the years, but we were also both pretty set in our ways already, so it works.

 

[Mark from Plano]

I have nothing intelligent to say on this topic.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

Sorry, but this is not how finding a Sig O works.

If I knew, I'd be married, amirite? Edumacate me, hopeless as it is.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

I have only found 2 movies worth buying, and that is one of them. The top 5 lists idea makes me laugh. Before I became terminally uncool, I used to try to make the most eclectic playlists, and a lot of times was to impress girls.

I have always been terminally uncool. I can proudly say that i never made a mix tape, or mix cd, or playlist for a girl!

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by Mark from Plano

I have nothing intelligent to say on this topic.

My guess is more that you are intelligent enough not to say it.

Anyway, lots of good stuff in this thread and much hilarity as welll.

 

[GQgeek]

Originally Posted by Manton

My guess is more that you are intelligent enough not to say it.

Anyway, lots of good stuff in this thread and much hilarity as welll.

oh, shut up. didn't you once complain that you had to read proust to try and get into womens' panties at Berkeley? I really hope they gave it up after that!

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

If I knew, I'd be married, amirite? Edumacate me, hopeless as it is.

Just saying that you really don't know when you meet someone, what "type" they are, etc. and WHAM! You just meet someone that might not be your type but fulfills everything you are. So for "education," I'm just saying it happens when and with who you least suspect.

 

[APK]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

I have only found 2 movies worth buying, and that is one of them. The top 5 lists idea makes me laugh. Before I became terminally uncool, I used to try to make the most eclectic playlists, and a lot of times was to impress girls.

I don't fully trust anyone who doesn't like either the movie or the book. One of those rare commentaries on relationships that are applicable to virtually any demographic. I lost interest in a girl many years ago after she told me she couldn't watch more than the opening 10 minutes of the movie.

 

[sjd]

Originally Posted by APK

I don't fully trust anyone who doesn't like either the movie or the book. One of those rare commentaries on relationships that are applicable to virtually any demographic. I lost interest in a girl many years ago after she told me she couldn't watch more than the opening 10 minutes of the movie.

My wife and I have been married for 13 years and together for almost 15. We separated once for a few weeks after she left due to my suffering from depression at the time. I fought hard to get her back and to get her to agree to counselling. Once we started to work things out High Fidelity was the first movie we saw and it was a revelation in a lot of ways. When we watch it now it actually makes us happy even though we first saw it during a period of turmoil in our relationship. We have both changed a lot but it has all been for the better as we have grown together. We have 1 son (no plans to have more) and I can picture myself with her forever.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by Pantisocrat

The worst mistake you can make is to marry a women who thinks she's your equal half. A female role is one of a mother, if she cannot accept that, then she is going to destroy you and your family by taking home men and ignore the kids. Some of the most wonderful women I've met tend live in fucked up places like Antigua in Guatemala or Bulawayo in Zimbabwe.

ojfc

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by Pantisocrat

The worst mistake you can make is to marry a women who thinks she's your equal half. A female role is one of a mother, if she cannot accept that, then she is going to destroy you and your family by taking home men and ignore the kids. Some of the most wonderful women I've met tend live in fucked up places like Antigua in Guatemala or Bulawayo in Zimbabwe.

do you subscribe to Mail Order Bride Quarterly?

 

[Geoff Gander]

Originally Posted by GQgeek

The success of the book "eat pray love" has got to be evidence of this. Here's a woman that dumps her husband of 8 years, who's done nothing wrong, in order to go "find herself" around the globe.

FTFY

I read the book, and its "sequel", Committed, where Gilbert takes a look at the institution of marriage and what it means. Not a scholarly analysis by any means, but there are some insights. We don't know the ins and outs of her first marriage (and what the man was like), but AFAIK he wanted kids and a family life, and she wanted to be a world traveller. That sort of incompatibility can't be bridged. Still, I can only imagine how that guy felt.

In my view, a big problem in the Western world re: marriage is that we (men and women) place a huge responsibility on our partners to make us "happy". That's not the partner's job. They accompany you through life, help you raise a family, and generally are supposed to be there for you. But they are not (IMO) supposed to stand on a pedestal and inspire you, or wave a magic wand and solve all your life's problems. To place that sort of responsibility on another fallible human being negates your own responsibility for your own life, and sets you up for disappointment.

People forget that there's a "for worse" part in marriage vows, and that there's more to marriage than "love" - there's responsibility, duty, and faithfulness.

 

[HgaleK]

Originally Posted by Geoff Gander

In my view, a big problem in the Western world re: marriage is that we (men and women) place a huge responsibility on our partners to make us "happy". That's not the partner's job.

^More people should understand this.