'Crunchy' cotton Incotex chinos - how do i soften them up?

[multiccy-csa]

This question will implicitly involve a confession as to my sheer lack of understanding of fabric weaves, but so be it.
I have a range of chinos, all 100% cotton; some are 'crunchy' to the touch, slightly shiny, and have a rough feel, which i don't like, while others are wonderfully soft and silky. This begs two questions:
i) what, roughly speaking, accounts for this chalk & cheese difference, from an identical material?
ii) can i soften my crunchy chinos?
The same also goes for OCBDs. Some are stiff, others soft. Does it just take, say, 50 washes?
And while i'm here, is 'fabric conditioner' the same as 'fabric softener' ? Is this my saviour?
Many thanks for any light any member can throw.

 

[comrade]

My guess is that it is a result of some "no-iron" treatment.
If that is the case, the internet has suggestions usually
soaking or washing in bicarbonate of soda. I tried it with some
BB pjs. The pjs did not soften much but should with multiple
treatments.