cordarounds
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- Nov 17, 2006
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As a community service to the currently costumeless, our pant engineers have taken the day off to design some simple, last-minute looks any horizontal corduroy clothing owner can assemble with minimal time and expense.
FLAP JACK: PANCAKE SUPERHERO
Ingredients: brown Cordarounds pants, brown reversible smoking jacket, one box of premium pancake mix
When Dr. Jonathan Quick's harebrained assistant mistakenly fueled his time machine with syrup instead of plutonium, the professor was metamorphosed into a towering stack of steaming pancakes! Shunned from society, he took to the night as Hoboken 's hotcake vigilante, fighting crime with his deadly buckwheat discs and searing jets of rich, Vermont maple syrup.
Character tip: Voiced with a strong Jersey accent, you may charm fellow Halloween partygoers with Flap Jack's signature line: "Wanna side a bacon wid ya butt kickin?"
POOP-CHEEK GENTLEMAN
Ingredients: Cordarounds reversible smoking jacket, fake doggie doo-doo, spirit gum
Fencer, financier, fashionista extraordinaire, the Earl of Turdsbury is truly a gentleman's gentleman. In fact, this dashing Renaissance man has but one tragic flaw: a giant, poop-shaped mole on his left cheek.
Kept from mirrors his entire life, Turdsbury is unaware of the abomination that despoils an otherwise preternaturally unblemished face. The self-assured sire sees pointed fingers and bemused stares as recognition of his dashing looks and prominent title.
Character tip: When partygoers ask what your costume is, reply, "Costume? Is this a costume party? Blast! I left my favorite Venetian mask in Monte Carlo!"
KING SMUT
Ingredients: white t-shirt, headband, golden gift bows, Cordarounds reversible smoking jacket, homemade pornoglyphic scrolls
Before Hefner. Before Flynt. Before even Caligula, there was the great King Smut, the ancient world's first publisher of girlie mags.
Famed for his breezy mien and signature smoking jacket, Smut's "pornoglyphics" depicted mummies in various states of undress, promising "All the tuts and asps you can pack into a papyrus scroll!"
FLAP JACK: PANCAKE SUPERHERO
Ingredients: brown Cordarounds pants, brown reversible smoking jacket, one box of premium pancake mix
When Dr. Jonathan Quick's harebrained assistant mistakenly fueled his time machine with syrup instead of plutonium, the professor was metamorphosed into a towering stack of steaming pancakes! Shunned from society, he took to the night as Hoboken 's hotcake vigilante, fighting crime with his deadly buckwheat discs and searing jets of rich, Vermont maple syrup.
Character tip: Voiced with a strong Jersey accent, you may charm fellow Halloween partygoers with Flap Jack's signature line: "Wanna side a bacon wid ya butt kickin?"
POOP-CHEEK GENTLEMAN
Ingredients: Cordarounds reversible smoking jacket, fake doggie doo-doo, spirit gum
Fencer, financier, fashionista extraordinaire, the Earl of Turdsbury is truly a gentleman's gentleman. In fact, this dashing Renaissance man has but one tragic flaw: a giant, poop-shaped mole on his left cheek.
Kept from mirrors his entire life, Turdsbury is unaware of the abomination that despoils an otherwise preternaturally unblemished face. The self-assured sire sees pointed fingers and bemused stares as recognition of his dashing looks and prominent title.
Character tip: When partygoers ask what your costume is, reply, "Costume? Is this a costume party? Blast! I left my favorite Venetian mask in Monte Carlo!"
KING SMUT
Ingredients: white t-shirt, headband, golden gift bows, Cordarounds reversible smoking jacket, homemade pornoglyphic scrolls
Before Hefner. Before Flynt. Before even Caligula, there was the great King Smut, the ancient world's first publisher of girlie mags.
Famed for his breezy mien and signature smoking jacket, Smut's "pornoglyphics" depicted mummies in various states of undress, promising "All the tuts and asps you can pack into a papyrus scroll!"
