christian dating websites

[dah328]

I was simply responding to MP's assertion that there was no right and wrong in attraction by providing examples of attractions that are clearly wrong. Nowhere did I insinuate that his was akin to pedophilia.

 

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by matadorpoeta

in my experience the double standard is held by both men and women.
And it's bullshit no matter who holds it.

 

[Quirk]

Originally Posted by Arethusa

And it's bullshit no matter who holds it.

It's no more "bullshit" than wanting to date a woman who's better looking or smarter than you are. People want whatever they want in a partner - as long as it's consentual, legal and above-board, why the hell would anyone else even care?

 

[dah328]

Originally Posted by Quirk

It's no more "bullshit" than wanting to date a woman who's better looking or smarter than you are. People want whatever they want in a partner - as long as it's consentual, legal and above-board, why the hell would anyone else even care?
Sure, but who gets to define the "above-board" criterion you mention above? Obviously, I don't consider MP's criterion here above-board but others may.

 

[Quirk]

Originally Posted by dah328

Sure, but who gets to define the "above-board" criterion you mention above? Obviously, I don't consider MP's criterion here above-board but others may.

Above-board as in disclosed to the partner -- i.e., you not falsely presenting yourself as a virgin just to snag one. If you say, "hey look, I've been a complete slut, but I want my women pure", and she goes for it, hey, that's her call.

 

[drizzt3117]

Originally Posted by Quirk

"hey look, I've been a complete slut, but I want my women pure"
lol quirk that's very nearly quotable, although I'm not sure that e-Harmony would go for that description in a profile. Also, if you want to continue the double standard, the guy should refer to himself as a player or playa.

 

[lawyerdad]

Originally Posted by drizzt3117

lol quirk that's very nearly quotable, although I'm not sure that e-Harmony would go for that description in a profile.

Also, if you want to continue the double standard, the guy should refer to himself as a player or playa.
Except that at least in California, where many folks understand at least a bit of Spanish, you might convince potential mates not that you're sexually experienced, but that you're a crackpot.
"WTF? This dude thinks he's a beach? What's up with that?"

 

[Quirk]

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

Except that at least in California, where many folks understand at least a bit of Spanish, you might convince potential mates not that you're sexually experienced, but that you're a crackpot.
"WTF? This dude thinks he's a beach? What's up with that?"

And in New York, the response would be, "I ain't no beach! Who you callin' a beach?"

 

[faustian bargain]

hijo de la playa:

 

[lawyerdad]

Originally Posted by Quirk

And in New York, the response would be, "I ain't no beach! Who you callin' a beach?"
LOL, I was thinking that . . .

 

[Nantucket Red]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Oh you mean he's actually serious, oops, nevermind my nasty, earlier comment then. Man I'm so far removed from christians that I really have trouble connecting with what they say, I normaly assume they're kidding...

Yeah. I just don't get it.

And I just don't get the virgin thing, having dealt with a few myself. I guess somebody has to break them in. In my opinion, nothing is less sexy than utter lack of experience.

 

[CTGuy]

Originally Posted by Nantucket Red

Yeah. I just don't get it.

And I just don't get the virgin thing, having dealt with a few myself. I guess somebody has to break them in. In my opinion, nothing is less sexy than utter lack of experience.

I second what NR said. I can't understand this whole thing. If you want someone christian who believes XYZ, then cool. However, the virgin thing is somewhat overrated.

I won't say there is anything wrong with dating a virgin- I've had it before. However, the whole deflowering thing is not really a valuable relationship criteria. In the long run it is sort of meaningless. Frankly (and I am not implying this is true in your case), it seems as though a lot of sexually unskilled or unexperienced men fantisize about virgins mostly as a result of their own inadequacy.

My experience has pretty much always proven that some experience is a very good thing. Granted, I can understand not wanting someone who has engaged in the proverbial "gang bang", but by and large women of a certain age are going to have had at least a few sexual partners and you have to expect that.

 

[matadorpoeta]

Originally Posted by CTGuy

Granted, I can understand not wanting someone who has engaged in the proverbial "gang bang", but by and large women of a certain age are going to have had at least a few sexual partners and you have to expect that.

yes, i expect that from the vast majority of women, but i'm not interested in the vast majority.

 

[CTGuy]

Originally Posted by matadorpoeta

yes, i expect that from the vast majority of women, but i'm not interested in the vast majority.

First, I applaud you for only seeking the best. For looking for a partner of truly high quality. I get that- and it impresses me that you are also seeking that.

However, just on the subject of "virgins" or sexual experience, I think that a certain amount of experience is in fact a positive for several reasons.
First-
The sex is better.

Some people (of both sexes) seem overly concerned with who or how many their partner has been with. I realize their are limits to my plea that people abandon this, but ultimately you like the person you are with because of where they have been and what they have done and you need to just accept that. In my experience, girls who had dated other people generally were better in bed then those who had not. Additionally, I feel my performance, etc. was generally highly appreciated compared to other relationships when my partner had less experience.

Second-

You say you want "not the vast majority," which is fine. However, this means you will be probably be weeding through a lot of freaks. I have a fair number of really intelligent, very beautiful female friends and acquaintences. None are virgins. A few may have only been with one or two guys because they were in long term relationships, but attractive people, the type of people YOU probably want to date, most likely had the opportunity to date other people before and took it. Nixing them because you now have the opportunity for them to take a second shot instead of a first seems wasteful and...not to be judgmental, but somewhat foolish.

 

[designprofessor]

I've come to respect mental /emotional stability;
sometimes more elusive than what you seek.