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christian dating websites

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by matadorpoeta, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    jill, thank you for the advice.
     
  2. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    I don't.

    And I think it's a double standard.

    And how do you know you'd be sexually compatible? The two main causes for divorce are money and sex, in that order.


    whether or not it's a double standard is not an issue. a person does not control who/what they are attracted to. if a man feels more of an attraction toward virgins, or hookers, that is his perogative. there is no right or wrong to this.

    also, as an experienced man of the world, you must understand that while the surface reasons may be money and sex, couples break up for much deeper reasons than that. it is resentment and fear which affects people's desire for money and their sexual relationships with one another.
     
  3. dah328

    dah328 Senior member

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    whether or not it's a double standard is not an issue. a person does not control who/what they are attracted to. if a man feels more of an attraction toward virgins, or hookers, that is his perogative. there is no right or wrong to this.
    The reasoning for justifying that kind of attraction is faulty. There is, of course, right and wrong in what attracts a man and it is most certainly not his prerogative to act on any such attraction. For example, acting on pedophiliac attractions is against the law and it is generally frowned upon to act on attractions to married people. One thing that is supposed to separate men from animals is that we are not slaves to our appetites. Because of that, you cannot summarily dismiss the matter of the double standard.

    In any case, I think this will be a moot point as most of the women today who meet your criteria are going to have equally stringent criteria of their own.
     
  4. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    The reasoning for justifying that kind of attraction is faulty. There is, of course, right and wrong in what attracts a man and it is most certainly not his prerogative to act on any such attraction. For example, acting on pedophiliac attractions is against the law and it is generally frowned upon to act on attractions to married people. One thing that is supposed to separate men from animals is that we are not slaves to our appetites. Because of that, you cannot summarily dismiss the matter of the double standard.
    you haven't explained what is wrong with my desire for a virgin. explain that first, then you can make your argument.

    In any case, I think this will be a moot point as most of the women today who meet your criteria are going to have equally stringent criteria of their own.
    in my experience the double standard is held by both men and women.
     
  5. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    The reasoning for justifying that kind of attraction is faulty. There is, of course, right and wrong in what attracts a man and it is most certainly not his prerogative to act on any such attraction. For example, acting on pedophiliac attractions is against the law and it is generally frowned upon to act on attractions to married people. One thing that is supposed to separate men from animals is that we are not slaves to our appetites. Because of that, you cannot summarily dismiss the matter of the double standard.

    In any case, I think this will be a moot point as most of the women today who meet your criteria are going to have equally stringent criteria of their own.

    Isn't this a bit extreme? Sure, there's a bit of a double standard there. People can have different views about whether or not that's "bad". But insinuating that it's akin to pedophilia is just absurd. Should we conclude from your post that every relationship you have had is with someone for whom you felt no instinctual attraction, because you eschew such "animal" appetites?
     
  6. dah328

    dah328 Senior member

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    I was simply responding to MP's assertion that there was no right and wrong in attraction by providing examples of attractions that are clearly wrong. Nowhere did I insinuate that his was akin to pedophilia.
     
  7. Arethusa

    Arethusa Senior member

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    in my experience the double standard is held by both men and women.
    And it's bullshit no matter who holds it.
     
  8. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

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    And it's bullshit no matter who holds it.

    It's no more "bullshit" than wanting to date a woman who's better looking or smarter than you are. People want whatever they want in a partner - as long as it's consentual, legal and above-board, why the hell would anyone else even care?
     
  9. dah328

    dah328 Senior member

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    It's no more "bullshit" than wanting to date a woman who's better looking or smarter than you are. People want whatever they want in a partner - as long as it's consentual, legal and above-board, why the hell would anyone else even care?
    Sure, but who gets to define the "above-board" criterion you mention above? Obviously, I don't consider MP's criterion here above-board but others may.
     
  10. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

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    Sure, but who gets to define the "above-board" criterion you mention above? Obviously, I don't consider MP's criterion here above-board but others may.

    Above-board as in disclosed to the partner -- i.e., you not falsely presenting yourself as a virgin just to snag one. If you say, "hey look, I've been a complete slut, but I want my women pure", and she goes for it, hey, that's her call.
     
  11. drizzt3117

    drizzt3117 Senior member

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    "hey look, I've been a complete slut, but I want my women pure"
    lol quirk that's very nearly quotable, although I'm not sure that e-Harmony would go for that description in a profile. Also, if you want to continue the double standard, the guy should refer to himself as a player or playa.
     
  12. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    lol quirk that's very nearly quotable, although I'm not sure that e-Harmony would go for that description in a profile.

    Also, if you want to continue the double standard, the guy should refer to himself as a player or playa.

    Except that at least in California, where many folks understand at least a bit of Spanish, you might convince potential mates not that you're sexually experienced, but that you're a crackpot.
    "WTF? This dude thinks he's a beach? What's up with that?"
     
  13. Quirk

    Quirk Senior member

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    Except that at least in California, where many folks understand at least a bit of Spanish, you might convince potential mates not that you're sexually experienced, but that you're a crackpot.
    "WTF? This dude thinks he's a beach? What's up with that?"


    And in New York, the response would be, "I ain't no beach! Who you callin' a beach?"
     
  14. faustian bargain

    faustian bargain Senior member

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  15. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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    And in New York, the response would be, "I ain't no beach! Who you callin' a beach?"
    LOL, I was thinking that . . .
     
  16. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Senior member

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    Oh you mean he's actually serious, oops, nevermind my nasty, earlier comment then. Man I'm so far removed from christians that I really have trouble connecting with what they say, I normaly assume they're kidding...[​IMG]

    Yeah. I just don't get it.

    And I just don't get the virgin thing, having dealt with a few myself. I guess somebody has to break them in. In my opinion, nothing is less sexy than utter lack of experience.
     
  17. CTGuy

    CTGuy Senior member

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    Yeah. I just don't get it.

    And I just don't get the virgin thing, having dealt with a few myself. I guess somebody has to break them in. In my opinion, nothing is less sexy than utter lack of experience.


    I second what NR said. I can't understand this whole thing. If you want someone christian who believes XYZ, then cool. However, the virgin thing is somewhat overrated.

    I won't say there is anything wrong with dating a virgin- I've had it before. However, the whole deflowering thing is not really a valuable relationship criteria. In the long run it is sort of meaningless. Frankly (and I am not implying this is true in your case), it seems as though a lot of sexually unskilled or unexperienced men fantisize about virgins mostly as a result of their own inadequacy.

    My experience has pretty much always proven that some experience is a very good thing. Granted, I can understand not wanting someone who has engaged in the proverbial "gang bang", but by and large women of a certain age are going to have had at least a few sexual partners and you have to expect that.
     
  18. matadorpoeta

    matadorpoeta Senior member

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    Granted, I can understand not wanting someone who has engaged in the proverbial "gang bang", but by and large women of a certain age are going to have had at least a few sexual partners and you have to expect that.

    yes, i expect that from the vast majority of women, but i'm not interested in the vast majority.
     
  19. CTGuy

    CTGuy Senior member

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    yes, i expect that from the vast majority of women, but i'm not interested in the vast majority.

    First, I applaud you for only seeking the best. For looking for a partner of truly high quality. I get that- and it impresses me that you are also seeking that.

    However, just on the subject of "virgins" or sexual experience, I think that a certain amount of experience is in fact a positive for several reasons.
    First-
    The sex is better.

    Some people (of both sexes) seem overly concerned with who or how many their partner has been with. I realize their are limits to my plea that people abandon this, but ultimately you like the person you are with because of where they have been and what they have done and you need to just accept that. In my experience, girls who had dated other people generally were better in bed then those who had not. Additionally, I feel my performance, etc. was generally highly appreciated compared to other relationships when my partner had less experience.

    Second-

    You say you want "not the vast majority," which is fine. However, this means you will be probably be weeding through a lot of freaks. I have a fair number of really intelligent, very beautiful female friends and acquaintences. None are virgins. A few may have only been with one or two guys because they were in long term relationships, but attractive people, the type of people YOU probably want to date, most likely had the opportunity to date other people before and took it. Nixing them because you now have the opportunity for them to take a second shot instead of a first seems wasteful and...not to be judgmental, but somewhat foolish.
     
  20. designprofessor

    designprofessor Senior member

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    I've come to respect mental /emotional stability;
    sometimes more elusive than what you seek.
     

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