My mom was like that a lot during my growing up. In and out of depression, very negatively critical of everything, and at times down right meaninglessly insulting. It was all very subtle, and yet had a very strong impact where self esteem lies. The biggest problem with a person like that being your mother is society tells you to respect and listen to her, even if she is full of it. That aspect of it was troubling during my teenage years, and only now in college am I slowly getting out of the negative habits I learned from her. Still gotta break the inability to drive a car I learned from her. Time heals a lot of wounds, as will developing understanding of yourself, as well as understanding of the person who is causing the problems. Not entirely sure where that was going, but perhaps it gets on the "I can't stand my mother either" wagon.