Subway and Public Transportation Etiquette - The People We Encounter

[patrickBOOTH]



right... this is exactly the type of thing I'd like to avoid.. and keep my flesh. Funny reversal of the psycho thing occurred.... I was dining alfresco in the Santa Monica promenade with my ex-gf.... when this guy comes up to try panhandling for money. (For the record I am white, my gf Asian the guy is black.) Now we're in a fenced off area for the restaurant's outside dining and I'm none too pleased being interrupted, but I try to be polite with a "hey man, not at the moment please... the lady and I are trying to enjoy some lunch" kinda thing. The guy literally goes berserk and starts yelling at me "you n*ggr this" "you f'g n*ggr that" and I'm like "wtf asshole have you looked in the mirror recently?" (I know rude but he brought it on.) anyway my gf (who has a bit of a accent and is clearly not American) is just naive or crazy she starts on with "no wrong answer!! not a n*ggr... he is cracker and I am *****! White boy is cracker and Asia girl is *****!!" That's almost exactly what she said (scary I know...she was a real piece of work). This big ol' dude just gets all quizzical... like "what the **** is wrong with THIS *****!" It was actually hilarious b/c he suddenly hadn't a clue how to respond... he wasn't expecting my crazy-ass gf!! Not only that, but clearly there were other people (white, black, Asian and otherwise) in the restaurant and they weren't sure whether to applaud her efforts for standing up for herself, or be dismayed by her total lack of concern at shouting these racial epithets. Shortly thereafter, restaurant staff told the guy to leave. It was an interesting meal to say the least....

I was walking with a friend one evening and this black guy yelled "crackers" at us. My friend yelled back, "I'm Guatemalan!"

Additionally, I did see a black guy on the subway screaming the "n" word at black people. Only in New York...

 

[Kid Nickels]



I was walking with a friend one evening and this black guy yelled "crackers" at us. My friend yelled back, "I'm Guatemalan!"
Additionally, I did see a black guy on the subway screaming the "n" word at black people. Only in New York...

Louis C.K.'s sometimes okay show "Louie" (why is it spelled differently?? I dunno..) has a lot of these "only in NY" moments. A brilliant subway musician playing the violin juxtaposed against some disgusting, homeless guy stripping down and washing himself right there on the platform. Ya only in NY.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



Louis C.K.'s sometimes okay show "Louie" (why is it spelled differently?? I dunno..) has a lot of these "only in NY" moments. A brilliant subway musician playing the violin juxtaposed against some disgusting, homeless guy stripping down and washing himself right there on the platform. Ya only in NY.

That's what I love about it. There is something about garbage, slime, graffiti, and a lamborghini all in the same spot.

 

[Kid Nickels]



That's what I love about it. There is something about garbage, slime, graffiti, and a lamborghini all in the same spot.

and that's why I love to visit the City but don't think I'd ever be happy living there. It's been a while so I need to get back...couple of my friends live in Brooklyn (recently relocated from Manhattan)... maybe once it warms up a little!

 

[patrickBOOTH]

I love the juxtaposition. I think it was David Cross who said while in NYC you don't know whether to stare at the hottest woman you have ever seen or the most decrepit man you have ever seen at the same time.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Nobody bothered me on the subway this morning, but I did have an awkward ride. This girl was standing next to me who my friend brought as a date to this house party last year. He met her on the internet and only had two dates with her. We talked and such at the party, however I hadn't seen her since. I pretended not to recognize her. She did the same, obviously.

 

[Joffrey]



I would have definitely said "sorry" immediately afterwards if I had known, but I had no idea until the guy kicked me, accused me of kicking his shoe, and started calling me names and threatening me.
edit: I admit that it was probably not the smartest move on my part, but I was confident that nothing was going to happen.

Nah, it seems like the guy has other issues beyond shoe-getting-kicked syndrome.

 

[Fang66]



Nobody bothered me on the subway this morning, but I did have an awkward ride. This girl was standing next to me who my friend brought as a date to this house party last year. He met her on the internet and only had two dates with her. We talked and such at the party, however I hadn't seen her since. I pretended not to recognize her. She did the same, obviously.

To do otherwise would have been gauche.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



To do otherwise would have been gauche.

I'm not friendly in the morning.

 

[Fang66]



I'm not friendly in the morning.

This is normal, people who are friendly in the morning are cunts.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



This is normal, people who are friendly in the morning are cunts.

I couldn't agree more. I get to my office at about 7:30 and there are these jolly old dickheads who have been in the office greeting the day since like 5:30. **** them.

 

[sugarbutch]

Hahaha. Up and at 'em, vampires!

 

[Fang66]



Hahaha. Up and at 'em, vampires!

**** off it's still morning here. Where's the "giving the finger" emoticon. Emoticon what a stupid ******* name for something.

 

[NewYorkIslander]

This is a great thread. Meatball girl could very well have been my first girlfriend in 8th grade. She let me finger her in her backyard while her twin sisters were playing 10 feet from us. Staten Island baby!

I saw this hot Bohemian chick on the 4 train yesterday, and on the R I was witness to an interesting conversation between some 20 something white kid with graffittied up Timbs and an older (could be 30 could be 60, you know crack does that to you) black guy/girl (has hair short and spoke with a clear lisp, but had some sort of 2 oclock shadow, not quite 5, but not clean either) with a walker abut the beneifts of going to Lutheran (a ****** hospital in Sunset Park) or Victory memorial (a shittier hospital in Dyker Heights). He was reading Wuthering Heights. No ****.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had one of the most memorable train rides about a year and a half ago. I was in between renting an apartment and waiting for my closing on a condo and I stayed with my girlfriend for about a month in Midwood, Brooklyn where she lived at the time. The ride is about an hour from Manhattan and I wanted to kill myself for that month, however one Friday night going back on the Q train at about 11pm the ride was much more enjoyable.

When you get on the Q it is initally very crowded and by the time it gets out there in Brooklyn, not so much. I was standing holding the pole talking to my g/f and this kid behind me kept bumping into me. I looked at him and it appeared that he had down's syndrome, or some other disability so it didn't bother me so much. Anyway, the train is emptying out and the only people left standing are my g/f and I and this kid. Only, the kid turned around to face me, but he is not a kid at all. He is about a 4 foot tall Spanish guy wasted beyond belief who is having trouble standing and moving about in the train. I immediately step away from him because I don't want him vomiting all over me.

So, everybody is watching this little homunculus. He is moving slowly and making the weirdest facial expressions that I have ever seen. It is like he was straining to see straight because he was so drunk. So, everybody is still in amusement over him, and he drops his ipod onto the floor by the pole. He had the headphones in his ears still, but he was so short the cord reached the ground no problem and didn't yank the music out of his ears. So he is trying to reach down to pick it up and support his drunken body with the pole and just stays halfway leaning on the pole trying to grab it for a while and drooling all over the floor. I am thinking to myself, "oh no, this guy is going to explode with vomit any second." Nope, he gets it, puts it in his pocket and then walks down the train with his face nearly pressed up to other people's face, all wobbly, googly-eyed, and drooling. Then he gets to this smoking hot chick, skimpy summer outfit, giant ****, and he is just standing in front of her for a while. She's just sort of sitting awkwardly, and then he sticks his hand down his track pants and starts playing with himself. As soon as he starts doing this he falls on top of her and this older lady next to the girl with a push cart in front of her pushes him away and he falls on the floor. He slowly gets up, struggling and starts punching her pushcart, and punching the pole. Too drunk to be strong, or cause damage, so it was just comical. Finally to top off the evening, he takes his dick out and starts pissing all over the floor. I was laughing ****** off. As the train was moving the piss was running everywhere. He finally got off at the stop before ours. Everybody bonded on the train that night and the commute seemed much shorter thanks to him.