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Putting Off The Married Life

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by SoleBajan, May 12, 2009.

  1. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I think marriage is just the natural succession of things, similar to what Ed is saying. It's basically a legal commitment, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe it is just something society has developed and nothing more or less special than a non-legal commitment. Who knows?

    shut up, you like men.
     
  2. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    I don't see what this "problem" is, if you want to get married with someone do it, if you do not, don't. What is there to analyze? Tax benefits? community property laws? life expectancy of married men vs. single men? Trying to prove that getting married or just living together is "right" is like trying to prove God exists/does not. Do whatever you feel is right for you and your partner's life. It just seems like very emotionally immature positiion to take to say "I am not going to get married until a do a cost/benefit analysis and figure out what the opportunity costs are"

    I humbly disagree. I think that is a financially mature position to take. The emotional decision is separate - namely, it regards whether or not you would like to spend a long time (perhaps the rest of your life) with this person because you love them and may want to start a family with them. I don't think the two decisions need to come in a bundle.
     
  3. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    shut up, you like men.

    Now legal in some states.
     
  4. TyCooN

    TyCooN Senior member

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    No. Because the reason people get married is obvious, and one would have to be deliberately obtuse to question what the purpose of marriage is.
    Starting a family is entirely possible without having a piece of paper that says you're together with some woman, and people don't need to go through a few ceremonies just to make kids. Besides, look at the divorce rates. People don't take marriage very seriously, nor do they take their words to heart as they exchange marriage vows. I want to jerk off to the idea of true love, too, but the patterns have been moving towards the other end as we head into the future. Anyways, respect reality by accepting that marriage is indeed a joke for most people.
     
  5. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I humbly disagree. I think that is a financially mature position to take. The emotional decision is separate - namely, it regards whether or not you would like to spend a long time (perhaps the rest of your life) with this person because you love them and may want to start a family with them. I don't think the two decisions need to come in a bundle.


    Fine, do whatever you want. Just don't ask me to tell you why I got married, money does not matter to me relative to what my concept of "marriage" is.
     
  6. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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    Starting a family is entirely possible without having a piece of paper that says you're together with some woman, and people don't need to go through a few ceremonies just to make kids. Besides, look at the divorce rates. People don't take marriage very seriously, nor do they take their words to heart as they exchange marriage vows. I want to jerk off to the idea of true love, too, but the patterns have been moving towards the other end as we head into the future. Anyways, respect reality by accepting that marriage is indeed a joke for most people.

    The fact that marriage is a joke for some people has no bearing on your original question "why get married." People get married for a very specific, very distinct reason. The fact that you can live happily with a person without being married and the fact that a lot of marriages end in divorce do nothing to change the reason for marriage.
     
  7. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Starting a family is entirely possible without having a piece of paper that says you're together with some woman, and people don't need to go through a few ceremonies just to make kids. Besides, look at the divorce rates. People don't take marriage very seriously, nor do they take their words to heart as they exchange marriage vows. I want to jerk off to the idea of true love, too, but the patterns have been moving towards the other end as we head into the future. Anyways, respect reality by accepting that marriage is indeed a joke for most people.

    That's retarded. So because it's a joke to some, it should be viewed as such by all [​IMG]
     
  8. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    I think this is like setting it up to fail. Almost like insurance on a relationship. If I even think I need one I really wouldn't marry her.

    Why get a car if you need insurance for it? Terrible analogy but I think it is similar if you think like a Man, not a not a whipped man or a girl.

    Now, I am only into pre-nups if both parties (or one) have a-lot of assets going into the relationship. In this day and age many marriages break up, why not go into it having saved both parties a ton of trouble, grief, and lawyer fees from the outset in the event the relationship turns disastrous? In situations like this, and with potentionally very high stakes both parties (or someone) needs to think with their heads not their hearts.

    By the way, I don't believe being analytical about a relationship ruins the core philosophy behind marriage. I don't see the problem in using both analysis and emotion to determine whether one should legally vow to be with someone for the rest of their lives. As someone who takes marriage very seriously, I would never consider taking that step solely on emotion. That's a recipe for disaster in my opinion.
     
  9. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Why do I get the impression that all the He-Men in this thread are 18, unemployed and don't have girlfriends?
     
  10. itsstillmatt

    itsstillmatt Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I cosign everything Ed has posted in this thread.
     
  11. TyCooN

    TyCooN Senior member

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    The fact that marriage is a joke for some people has no bearing on your original question "why get married." People get married for a very specific, very distinct reason. The fact that you can live happily with a person without being married and the fact that a lot of marriages end in divorce do nothing to change the reason for marriage.
    What do you think the main reason for getting married is then? It seems we're not on the same wavelength.

    That's retarded. So because it's a joke to some, it should be viewed as such by all [​IMG]
    No, I'm telling everyone to take precautions. If you don't mean this then it's not directed towards you, but that don't get married with a prenup stuff is bullshit. It's a great feeling to trust people, but we must also trust the fact that they're humans first. People are known to change over time. Jokes are great, just don't let the joke be on you.
     
  12. RJman

    RJman Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Why do I get the impression that all the He-Men in this thread are 18, unemployed and don't have girlfriends?
    Because this is the Internet. Srs Business.

    I cosign everything Ed has posted in this thread.

    I cotangent iammatt.
     
  13. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

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    Why do I get the impression that all the He-Men in this thread are 18, unemployed and don't have girlfriends?

    I am 17 and a virgin. But I am awesome on the internets!
     
  14. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    What do you think the main reason for getting married is then? It seems we're not on the same wavelength.

    No, I'm telling everyone to take precautions. If you don't mean this then it's not directed towards you, but that don't get married with a prenup stuff is bullshit. It's a great feeling to trust people, but we must also trust the fact that they're humans first. People are known to change over time. Jokes are great, just don't let the joke be on you.


    [​IMG]


    Dood, I've been married probably longer than you have been alive. If it all fell apart tomorrow:
    1. I would have no regrets nor view the relationship or experience as a joke.
    2. I would have absolutely no issues with making sure that she and our children continued living the life that we have worked for and become accustomed to.
     
  15. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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    What do you think the main reason for getting married is then? It seems we're not on the same wavelength.
    Because people love each other and want to make a lifelong committment to each other. That's it. Just because you can get a lifelong commitment elsewhere doesn't change that.
    What do you think it is?
     
  16. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I remeber having these debates in the Unit III dorms, 1987, when I had no assets at all. 22 years later, I still don't have enough assets to justify even thinking about a pre-nup.
     
  17. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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    I remeber having these debates in the Unit III dorms, 1987, when I had no assets at all. 22 years later, I still don't have enough assets to justify even thinking about a pre-nup.

    The year I was born. Coincidence? I think not.
     
  18. GekkoHQ

    GekkoHQ Member

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    Hi all, I just thought I'd put this into the conversation. I'm getting married in September, so this topic got me thinking about pre-nups. I wouldn't want one, but even if I did, I couldn't imagine asking her to sign it. It's basically saying "I don't trust you entirely", and yet I do think that in many cases they are necessary. By the way, I'm neither 18, unemployed or single. although the way things are going I wish I was two of the three... [​IMG]
     
  19. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I remeber having these debates in the Unit III dorms, 1987, when I had no assets at all. 22 years later, I still don't have enough assets to justify even thinking about a pre-nup.

    I have noticed that it is a big college age topic of conversation. Not sure why but it seems that at the age we picture ourselves as becoming insanely rich and going through three, four wives in an 8 year span.
     
  20. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I have noticed that it is a big college age topic of conversation. Not sure why but it seems that at the age we picture ourselves as becoming insanely rich and going through three, four wives in an 8 year span.

    Exactly, we were all certain that we were going to be billionaires by 30.

    In my case, it was going to be from directing movies, but I was going to be dead by 29 in a spectacular crash on the PCH near Big Sur and then win the Oscar posthumously,

    [​IMG]
     

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