1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

Putting Off The Married Life

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by SoleBajan, May 12, 2009.

  1. SoleBajan

    SoleBajan Active Member

    Messages:
    36
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2008
    Location:
    Between Barbados and Martinique (France).
    Long but thought-provoking read grâce à Facebook. What do you think?
     
  2. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

    Messages:
    13,923
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Location:
    McAnally Flats
    I'm 32 and still single (well, I have a girlfriend, but I'm not married). I would like to settle down at some point, but when I can date a series of hot women in their mid-twenties, have all the sex I want but still have my own place and my own space, and focus on my career, it's really hard to give that up. I mean really, there is no incentive other than to pass along my bloodline.

    When you're single, you're only living for yourself. There's great material benefit to that, but I believe a long-term deletrious spiritual and emotional detriment.

    I know that long-term, I should really grow up, but I've been saying that for about ten years now.
     
  3. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    Only reason I would get married is to start a family. Otherwise if I found someone great we could just be in a long-term relationship until we decided not to.

    I agree with FLMM in that living alone for too long isn't healthy, but marriage is not the only way to solve that. Besides, what does marriage bring to the table for a man, exactly? I can see it being a security deposit for the family that the man won't up and leave on a whim. But again, where is the benefit for the man himself?
     
  4. Milhouse

    Milhouse Senior member

    Messages:
    2,059
    Joined:
    May 11, 2007
    I think the ledger thing is a good analogy for the analysis that I go through. As has happened with all the girls in my past, one day, the bad things add up to a higher sum than good things and I say "no more". This has always left them shocked and confused. They always flip out and can't understand how I could "break up" with them so "suddenly". I don't think women realize the cumulative effect of their behavior.
     
  5. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    I think the ledger thing is a good analogy for the analysis that I go through. As has happened with all the girls in my past, one day, the bad things add up to a higher sum than good things and I say "no more". This has always left them shocked and confused. They always flip out and can't understand how I could "break up" with them so "suddenly". I don't think women realize the cumulative effect of their behavior.

    The only reason I break up with a woman is that I can't see myself marrying her. Drivers of this can include:
    - I still want to sleep with other women too much to believe I can stay faithful forever. I don't want to be a chronically-cheating husband so I break up then and there.
    - She does not challenge me intellectually enough to be my long-term mate.
    - She does not turn me on sexually enough for me to foresee my love life being great for a long time.
     
  6. Milhouse

    Milhouse Senior member

    Messages:
    2,059
    Joined:
    May 11, 2007
    The only reason I break up with a woman is that I can't see myself marrying her. Drivers of this can include:
    - I still want to sleep with other women too much to believe I can stay faithful forever. I don't want to be a chronically-cheating husband so I break up then and there.
    - She does not challenge me intellectually enough to be my long-term mate.
    - She does not turn me on sexually enough for me to foresee my love life being great for a long time.


    How long do your relationships last? Those are the types of things I think about during dating phases. By the time I consider a woman to be a girlfriend, it has been quite a while (months). At that phase, it becomes about compatibility for me, e.g. can I live with this woman for the rest of my life without lots of problems? Well, if she constantly asks me about other women on a regular basis, despite me being faithful, I make it known that I do not like it, and if it continues much more, I walk away, for example. The women have always been shocked when they find out it wasn't a bluff and that I meant it needed to stop completely.
     
  7. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    How long do your relationships last? Those are the types of things I think about during dating phases. By the time I consider a woman to be a girlfriend, it has been quite a while (months). At that phase, it becomes about compatibility for me, e.g. can I live with this woman for the rest of my life without lots of problems? Well, if she constantly asks me about other women on a regular basis, despite me being faithful, I make it known that I do not like it, and if it continues much more, I walk away, for example. The women have always been shocked when they find out it wasn't a bluff and that I meant it needed to stop completely.
    My relationships last 5 months - 3 years. Shorter and shorter as I've grown older and made quicker decisions. If a girl asks me about other women incessantly, I will generally end it before it starts. Edit: Also on the sexual front: sometimes you can be totally into it for year(s) and then not be feeling it anymore after a while. I found this to be the case with attractive girls who are passive in bed.
     
  8. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    41,568
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Location:
    In Hiding
    If all you have to fall back on is $200K per year, then I agree, marriage makes no sense.
     
  9. Connemara

    Connemara Senior member

    Messages:
    39,486
    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2006
    If all you have to fall back on is $200K per year, then I agree, marriage makes no sense.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    If all you have to fall back on is $200K per year, then I agree, marriage makes no sense.

    And imagine, my ex-wife would get half of my measly assets! I'd be left a pauper.
     
  11. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    25,669
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Location:
    NYC
    There is a lot of stupidity in this thread [​IMG]
     
  12. nootje

    nootje Senior member

    Messages:
    3,098
    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2008
    Location:
    Netherlands
    A bit of irony in there.. With all the divorce laws created to protect the female companion, men are a lot less inclined to marry without a prenup or marry at all, and with that leaving the women even less protected then before..
     
  13. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    A bit of irony in there.. With all the divorce laws created to protect the female companion, men are a lot less inclined to marry without a prenup or marry at all, and with that leaving the women even less protected then before..

    Cat and mouse.

    I don't see myself getting married without a prenup. Either I will ask for one, or she will be rich and too smart to not get me to sign one.
     
  14. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    41,568
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Location:
    In Hiding
    I don't see myself getting married without a prenup.

    This is gold. Keep it up!
     
  15. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    This is gold. Keep it up!
    You haven't really contributed anything insightful to this discussion: only snark & irony. That's quite splendid, but I'm genuinely interested in hearing your opinion as to why certain points of view in this thread are so comical to you.
     
  16. edmorel

    edmorel Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    25,669
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Location:
    NYC
    There is a lot of stupidity in this thread [​IMG]

    +1
     
  17. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    41,568
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Location:
    In Hiding
    +1

    +2
     
  18. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

    Messages:
    33,650
    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
  19. Manton

    Manton Senior member Dubiously Honored

    Messages:
    41,568
    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2002
    Location:
    In Hiding
    You haven't really contributed anything insightful to this discussion: only snark & irony. That's quite splendid, but I'm genuinely interested in hearing your opinion as to why certain points of view in this thread are so comical to you.

    If you want a serious answer, here it is in an nutshell: this is just another Internet Master of the Universe circle jerk. You are making Vox seem subtle and humble at the same time, which takes some doing.
     
  20. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    If you want a serious answer, here it is in an nutshell: this is just another Internet Master of the Universe circle jerk. You are making Vox seem subtle and humble at the same time, which takes some doing.

    I meant a serious answer to the question of marriage and prenuptial agreements, not another mini-commentary on my e-persona.

    I'll ask once more, although I'm not optimistic about getting a serious response out of you or edmorel. What is so laughable about a pre-nuptial agreement?
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by