Official Wedding Attire Question/Answer/Picture Thread

[The Dirty Pigeon]

Hi all, trying to plan for my wedding in early October in California. Trying to figure out groom and groomsmen attire. The wedding ceremony starts at 5PM at a country club, with the ceremony outdoors but the reception mostly indoors.

I know it's a bit breaking of the rules to wear a Tuxedo before sunset, but I'd really prefer to wear one if possible given the reception will end at 11PM. I wear suits regularly in my profession, so a Tuxedo would help make it feel more of a special occasion for me, even though I realize I probably won't get much additional wear out of it (vs. a suit), living in CA.

I'm currently considering ordering a Navy Mohair MTM shawl collar tuxedo from Spier and Mackay, with otherwise a pretty standard rest of ensemble w/ black satin, covered buttons, etc. and black bow tie, but without a cummerbund/vest.

For my groomsmen, I know none own tuxedos and I don't want to force them to rent/buy something they likely won't use again, so am considering having them wear their own Navy suits, with white shirts, black shoes/belts.

Had a few questions for the folks here:

• Is Navy for the tuxedo ok over black or midnight blue (not an option at S&M)? Part of it is to have at least some consistency with the groomsmen in color, and otherwise it's to make it slightly more flattering for the 5PM start
• I currently own black AE Fifth Ave Cap Toes, but they have some broguing on the line of the cap. I don't own any wholecuts or standard black captoes, so it'd be great to use these polished up, but I do realize the broguing somewhat reduces appropriateness for a tux. Wondering if it's a minor enough detail that I can overlook
• Will it be too much of a mismatch having myself in a Tuxedo and groomsmen in suits? The wedding is "cocktail attire" so I'd likely be the only one in black tie, but again trying to balance practicality for guests/groomsmen and my own desire to own/wear a tuxedo
• If I do stick with the above plan, I'm going to be buying the groomsmen ties to wear. Trying to decide if I should do traditional grey glen plaid, or something like a Navy tie. Open to other suggestions as well

I think you’re on the right track with your instincts here. I wouldn’t fret over the tuxedo color; however, it were me, I’d opt for black to set it apart from the groomsmen in navy. Since it’ll be evening and dark for most of your wedding, aside from the first hour or so, the tuxedo is definitely appropriate. I’d try to find some shoes without brogueing if you can. Nobody else is going to care but you but I’m guessing that, in the future, you might look back and wish you wore shoes with a little more formality. Gray/silver glen plaid ties for the groomsmen would look great. A deep burgundy/wine knit or grenadine would be my second choice. I’d make sure that their suits are a darker navy and not on the lighter side.

 

[Concordia]

Hi all, trying to plan for my wedding in early October in California. Trying to figure out groom and groomsmen attire. The wedding ceremony starts at 5PM at a country club, with the ceremony outdoors but the reception mostly indoors.

I know it's a bit breaking of the rules to wear a Tuxedo before sunset, but I'd really prefer to wear one if possible given the reception will end at 11PM. I wear suits regularly in my profession, so a Tuxedo would help make it feel more of a special occasion for me, even though I realize I probably won't get much additional wear out of it (vs. a suit), living in CA.

I'm currently considering ordering a Navy Mohair MTM shawl collar tuxedo from Spier and Mackay, with otherwise a pretty standard rest of ensemble w/ black satin, covered buttons, etc. and black bow tie, but without a cummerbund/vest.

For my groomsmen, I know none own tuxedos and I don't want to force them to rent/buy something they likely won't use again, so am considering having them wear their own Navy suits, with white shirts, black shoes/belts.

Had a few questions for the folks here:

• Is Navy for the tuxedo ok over black or midnight blue (not an option at S&M)? Part of it is to have at least some consistency with the groomsmen in color, and otherwise it's to make it slightly more flattering for the 5PM start
• I currently own black AE Fifth Ave Cap Toes, but they have some broguing on the line of the cap. I don't own any wholecuts or standard black captoes, so it'd be great to use these polished up, but I do realize the broguing somewhat reduces appropriateness for a tux. Wondering if it's a minor enough detail that I can overlook
• Will it be too much of a mismatch having myself in a Tuxedo and groomsmen in suits? The wedding is "cocktail attire" so I'd likely be the only one in black tie, but again trying to balance practicality for guests/groomsmen and my own desire to own/wear a tuxedo
• If I do stick with the above plan, I'm going to be buying the groomsmen ties to wear. Trying to decide if I should do traditional grey glen plaid, or something like a Navy tie. Open to other suggestions as well

Navy tuxedo will likely be useless any other place. Get something that you'll be happy to wear later. If you do go that way, the right shoes will make it seem more of a piece.
That said, it's silly (IMO) to have yourself in black tie and the company in anything but. Specify black tie for all, or wear a suit.
Lots of options for wedding ties. Sam Hober has a decent selection, as will Kirby Allison and Cappellini.

 

[ValidusLA]

That said, it's silly (IMO) to have yourself in black tie and the company in anything but. Specify black tie for all, or wear a suit

This. 100%.

 

[Jerkstore]

For my groomsmen, I know none own tuxedos and I don't want to force them to rent/buy something they likely won't use again, so am considering having them wear their own Navy suits, with white shirts, black shoes/belts.

My only suggestion is to not have formal groomsman at all. I've been to a lot of weddings recently where there were no groomsmen/bridesmaids up with the groom and bride (we are doing this for our wedding in October). The focus was only on them and it was very special. Just a thought!

 

[Concordia]

There is that-- too many weddings are made up to have what look like chorus lines in the back, often forced into the same tacky promwear that the local shop can rent by the dozen. There's no real reason for any of that.

 

[MonsieurChan]

I will have my wedding coming at the end of the year in a hotel. It will be set during lunch time, so I will exit with the option of tuxedo.

I was thinking of wearing a navy double-breasted suit with a a gray wedding tie. I am also hesitating with a navy single-breasted suit, with a dark gray vest.
I was thinking of asking my groomsmen to wear a suits in navy to avoid the contrast of having them to wear a gray suits and I am the only one in navy.
We differentiate ourselves with me having a DB or SB + vest or using the boutonnière ?

What do you think? DB vs SB + dark gray vest ? How about for my grooms?

If you have any inspo pics, that would be really helpful.

 

[Eagleguy2040]

Hey all - looking for advice on groomsmen tux coordination. I’m (obviously) excited to be getting married down in florida on NYE. Given that it’s a destination wedding on the holidays, I want to limit the cost for my groomsmen and therefore would like to let them wear the tuxedos that they already own. With that said, I want to make sure it doesn’t look completely uncoordinated. I’m struggling to figure out what is really important to be standard versus what’s not that critical. Here’s my thoughts below, would love to hear if people think differently:



1. Tuxedo has to be black (I’ll be wearing an ivory tux jacket)
2. Tuxedo has to have peak or notch lapel (will it look that bad if 1 or 2 people have a Shawl lapel?)
3. Tuxedo shirt has to have black buttons and turn-down collar (not a wing collar)
4. No idea what rules to have for shoes – should I just mandate shiny lace up shoes?
5. Anything else I’m missing? I’ll buy bowtie & suspenders for everyone so that will be standard

thank you!!

 

[ValidusLA]

Hey all - looking for advice on groomsmen tux coordination. I’m (obviously) excited to be getting married down in florida on NYE. Given that it’s a destination wedding on the holidays, I want to limit the cost for my groomsmen and therefore would like to let them wear the tuxedos that they already own. With that said, I want to make sure it doesn’t look completely uncoordinated. I’m struggling to figure out what is really important to be standard versus what’s not that critical. Here’s my thoughts below, would love to hear if people think differently:



1. Tuxedo has to be black (I’ll be wearing an ivory tux jacket)
2. Tuxedo has to have peak or notch lapel (will it look that bad if 1 or 2 people have a Shawl lapel?)
3. Tuxedo shirt has to have black buttons and turn-down collar (not a wing collar)
4. No idea what rules to have for shoes – should I just mandate shiny lace up shoes?
5. Anything else I’m missing? I’ll buy bowtie & suspenders for everyone so that will be standard

thank you!!

1) I'd say or midnight blue also.
2) notch Lapel tuxedos are an abomination. Shawl collars are much better than notch.
3) why on both counts? Firstly, black cotton are terrible. If you don't want studs, just have white buttons. (You should have studs). Secondly, why no wing collars?
4) I think patent oxfords, pumps, velvet slippers, and (others will disagree) high polish black wholecuts all work. No need to have them all he the same.
5) I would say the same thing I've said on all these questions: if the wedding isn't black tie, you'd do better to all be in suits with wedding ties. If it's black tie you should need to coordinate, as all black tie acceptable items would be I'm play.

 

[Eagleguy2040]

1) I'd say or midnight blue also.
2) notch Lapel tuxedos are an abomination. Shawl collars are much better than notch.
3) why on both counts? Firstly, black cotton are terrible. If you don't want studs, just have white buttons. (You should have studs). Secondly, why no wing collars?
4) I think patent oxfords, pumps, velvet slippers, and (others will disagree) high polish black wholecuts all work. No need to have them all he the same.
5) I would say the same thing I've said on all these questions: if the wedding isn't black tie, you'd do better to all be in suits with wedding ties. If it's black tie you should need to coordinate, as all black tie acceptable items would be I'm play.

Thanks!

On the Shirts I meant studs, not the actual buttons.

On the collars - I figured that it would look weird if some had wing collars and some had folded since they do look pretty different?

Wedding is black tie or else we’d be wearing suits.

 

[ValidusLA]

Thanks!

On the Shirts I meant studs, not the actual buttons.

On the collars - I figured that it would look weird if some had wing collars and some had folded since they do look pretty different?

Wedding is black tie or else we’d be wearing suits.

I would say let them wear whichever shirts fit them best.

For studs, I don't think you need to have them match.

I'd say if you want to drill into weird details, and you are buying the bow ties, make sure they match the lapel materials on the groomsmen dinner jackets.

Apologies on all my typos in previous message. Phone.

 

[Eagleguy2040]

I would say let them wear whichever shirts fit them best.

For studs, I don't think you need to have them match.

I'd say if you want to drill into weird details, and you are buying the bow ties, make sure they match the lapel materials on the groomsmen dinner jackets.

Apologies on all my typos in previous message. Phone.

I would say let them wear whichever shirts fit them best.

For studs, I don't think you need to have them match.

I'd say if you want to drill into weird details, and you are buying the bow ties, make sure they match the lapel materials on the groomsmen dinner jackets.

Apologies on all my typos in previous message. Phone.

got it. Almost all the guys have peak lapels. Will it look really off to have 1 or 2 of the 10 guys having shawl? Trying to decide if the shaw guys should rent a peak lapel jacket or their shawl will look fine with the others.

 

[ValidusLA]

got it. Almost all the guys have peak lapels. Will it look really off to have 1 or 2 of the 10 guys having shawl? Trying to decide if the shaw guys should rent a peak lapel jacket or their shawl will look fine with the others.

10 groomsmen! My word!
No, there is nothing wrong w/ shawl lapels. Let em rock. Better they wear what they have which likely fits better than a rental (shudder).

 

[JohnMRobie]

got it. Almost all the guys have peak lapels. Will it look really off to have 1 or 2 of the 10 guys having shawl? Trying to decide if the shaw guys should rent a peak lapel jacket or their shawl will look fine with the others.

No. I contemplated getting tuxes made for my guys but rolled the budget into the Mrs floral budget as extra and had everyone just wear their tuxes without specifying anything about jewelry or shoes. I gave them bow ties as a gift. I can confirm that nobody noticed.

As an aside the only pictures we actually still look at or bothered framing are of the two of us, not our wedding party. Even as a weird SF guy who notices these things I could maybe tell you what two or three of our guests wore. My groomsmen aren’t in that group of two or three.

 

[solid_olid]

Alright, I'm trying to nail down attire for my wedding and running into mostly the same problems as the last two pages in the thread, with a little variation. I'd love some advice if you all could give it, any and all thoughts are welcome. Here are the deets, let me know if I left anything out:

Wedding ceremony is at 5PM in early april, followed by cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing. Venue is a hotel ballroom with floor-to-ceiling windows on one side and distinctive blue and grey carpeting. Accordingly we are going with an art deco ish vibe, focusing on blue grey and white in general, trying to mix in some gold and spring green.

General attire is cocktail. I am going to wear a tux. I have 6 groomsmen, probably half of whom own a suit and none of whom own a tux. They will all be traveling for the wedding so I am trying to be price conscious.

Here are the options I am considering for myself, probably MTO through Kent Wang. I am not tied to the "rules" so much as what I think will look good while still being "classy" (I know I know following the "rules" is "classy"). I think the groomsmen attire will fall pretty clearly out of that:

1. Classic black tux, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Love the classiness and classiness, but color doesn't match the other wedding colors that well and isn't the best color for me (although I was surprised how much I liked the look of a pretty traditional Zegna tux I tried on).
2. Black tux with black velvet jacket, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Velvet is a little more fun/matches better and deeper colors/textures look better on me. Haven't been able to try one on yet. Only downside is missing that straight classiness you give up for the velvet flash.
3. Midnight blue tux with ___ lapel/trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes.
   1. Having a bit of a hard time knowing how dark midnight is - most pictures I've found online of this seem pretty aggressively blue.
   2. I do like the idea of a compromise of blue in daylight and black-looking at night, probably matches wedding aesthetic better.
   3. Still pretty classy/formal.
   4. Other main downside is that in general I do not love black trim on blue tuxes, and I am not sure what my options for lapel will be otherwise.
4. Navy blue tux with midnight trim, groomsmen wear black tuxes, or navy suits.
   1. This is kind of where I started. It's very much non traditional which worries me, but I think will match the aesthetic well and look good, and the navy and midnight suits me.
   2. Only really came off this option once I saw how good black tuxes look.
   3. Inspiration in green here: https://tomandlorenzo.com/2017/06/2017-cfda-fashion-awards-matt-bomer-in-todd-snyder/
5. Midnight blue velvet tux, groomsmen wear something tbd, will probably leave it up to them for this one.
   1. Maximum fun, probably most worried about it being too blue and what trousers to wear with it. In my mind trousers should be midnight wool, not black, but I'm guessing in your minds I just shouldn't do this.

In case you can't tell, I am bad at decisions. I am happy I liked the black classic tux because it is easy to get and a good default. I am guessing I am going to get a lot of people telling me to stop being a 🤡 and take option 1, and I embrace that feedback and value it. I'm getting married on April fool's day, I know who I am, and as such my current preference is for options 4 and 5 if I can get suitable fabric.

Thanks for bearing with me, and happy early new years to all!

 

[ter1413]

1. Inspiration in green here: https://tomandlorenzo.com/2017/06/2017-cfda-fashion-awards-matt-bomer-in-todd-snyder/

^
That's HORRIBLE!