How to dress well in CM without standing out too much

[AX2007]

Over all a REALLY nice look. Not sure I'm up to vest over a coat ... but he still looks good.

I agree, I don't think I would wear a vest over a jacket either but he pulls it off.

 

[pwbower]

Here I am -- on the right ... back in the 50's -- in seersucker and sandals . Very CM no? Surely I don't stand out too much ... except perhaps for being sans shirt. My mother shared that in summer months, she could not keep a shirt on me. It was probably foreshadowing my trips to Harbin Hot Springs. Then again, it was the Deep South. My pal, Gary, has a button up ... but not down. Looks more like a camp shirt. He is now a doctor in ... OMG ... Brooklyn.

Bridge and tunnel is prejudice and bigotry. Where I came from it was "the tracks" that divided us. And if you were of a different race, it was even codified into LAW. The two of us below could walk with one another from place to place ... but we could not play in public. I'm guessing we are in front of Mrs. Edwards house. She had a very private backyard and a wonderful play structure. This way we could avoid the eyes of the law.



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Bigotry and prejudice — there's plenty of that among people I've heard use that phrase. I think, as noted, cultural snobbery is part of it as well. I've raised two kids in Brooklyn (which is not considered B&T that I'm aware of, at least not for 15 or 20 years), and I was dismayed to find, last year, my 21 year old saying snotty things about "Jersey people" or Long Islanders, both of which seemed to be code for Italian-American in context. I did my best to set her straight. You try to raise them right!

 

[Nobilis Animus]

That vest outfit is among the top five ridiculous things I've seen all week. And one of those was a guy trying to eat a traffic pylon.

 

[comrade]

In my experience, it wasn't typically applied to wealthier folks that lived in nice places that commuted into Manhattan, who could probably afford to live there but chose to live somewhere else.

Or like my bother-in -law who lives in an 18th century house on acreage
in Connecticut and has a pied a terre on 10th St off Fifth in the City. In his
case, he's more of an intellectual snob than a social snob. And besides,
he earned every penny he is worth.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

Back to the original premise; how? Context.

Last weekend my wife and I spent the day in the city capping it off with dinner. The weather was agreeable so I wore a blue sport coat with a pocket square, ivory chinos and bit loafers with a sock liner.

My wife was on a mission; find a very specific style skirt. We hit RL, Neiman’s and Saks. At each place, I was mistaken for a sales associate. Before that, I grabbed a cappuccino from the coffee bar and Nordstrom and the kid behind the counter asked for my employee number.

It didn’t necessarily bother me but I just thought how pathetic and some would see the wearing of a sport coat as meaning anything other than just trying to be presentable.

 

[paulraphael]

It didn’t necessarily bother me but I just thought how pathetic and some would see the wearing of a sport coat as meaning anything other than just trying to be presentable.

That's like thinking it's pathetic for people to no longer speak in a dialect from another century. In your mind it may be the more correct way to speak, but in the real world language doesn't work this way. Meanings and connotations are established by a loose and evolving agreement. If you use language in an outdated way, you will simply be misunderstood, regardless of your own personal intentions, esthetics, or beliefs.

Clothing is likewise language, and it's always communicating something. Your beliefs and intentions don't exert some magical influence over what the words and the syntax mean to others.

In the context of those department stores, you were dressing like the help. Plain and simple. The people around you were fluent in the language of dress in those contexts, because they show up there every day. In that language you communicated something different from your intent. Reframing this by characterizing your mode of dress as "presentable" is very strange. Presentable to whom, and for what purpose?

 

[Phileas Fogg]

That's like thinking it's pathetic for people to no longer speak in a dialect from another century. In your mind it may be the more correct way to speak, but in the real world language doesn't work this way. Meanings and connotations are established by a loose and evolving agreement. If you use language in an outdated way, you will simply be misunderstood, regardless of your own personal intentions, esthetics, or beliefs.

Clothing is likewise language, and it's always communicating something. Your beliefs and intentions don't exert some magical influence over what the words and the syntax mean to others.

In the context of those department stores, you were dressing like the help. Plain and simple. The people around you were fluent in the language of dress in those contexts, because they show up there every day. In that language you communicated something different from your intent. Reframing this by characterizing your mode of dress as "presentable" is very strange. Presentable to whom, and for what purpose?

thank you for your incoherent response.
As to your last point, for whom and the purpose was for myself and my wife. The only people who really matter.

by the way, in your excitement to dunk on me, you obviously passed over my first point; context.

I’m completely aware as to why the mistake was made. It’s nonetheless sad that the simple act of wearing a sport coat renders one by default as being a sales associate.

 

[paulraphael]

thank you for your incoherent response.
As to your last point, for whom and the purpose was for myself and my wife. The only people who really matter.

Incoherent? What part would you like me to clarify?

I completely understand dressing only for yourself. But then it seems strange to make a point of publicly calling out other people's reactions as pathetic.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

Incoherent? What part would you like me to clarify?

I completely understand dressing only for yourself. But then it seems strange to make a point of publicly calling out other people's reactions as pathetic.

no…I didn’t call anyone out. I’m saying the current state of affairs is pathetic that someone shopping in a department store and wearing a sport coat is assumed to be a sales associate.

 

[paulraphael]

no…I didn’t call anyone out. I’m saying the current state of affairs is pathetic that someone shopping in a department store and wearing a sport coat is assumed to be a sales associate.

This brings me back to the origins of this thread. Is the real sentiment about standing out from the crowd, or is it about standing out in the wrong way? Wrong ways might include looking inappropriately formal, looking stuffy, looking like you're playing retro cosplay, looking like a waiter, a security guard ... or a clothes salesman. Pick your own idea of wrong.

I think the men in the pictures posted here would stand out in most settings. But they'd stand out for looking great, looking comfortable with themselves, and having a confident and unusual sense of style. I think it takes some finesse to stand out in a way your comfortable with, as opposed to the many other options. Especially since we're talking about using a clothing vocabulary that's fallen outside the mainstream.

This strikes me as an interesting challenge, especially if we unpack what we're really talking about here. I don't see anything pathetic about it. Norms change. Adapting to them thoughtfully takes ... thought.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

Wrong ways might include looking inappropriately formal, looking stuffy, looking like you're playing retro cosplay, looking like a waiter, a security guard ... or a clothes salesman. Pick your own idea of wrong.

Sorry, my wearing a sport coat and happening into a department store is wrong and “cos-play”?

what’s the point of this entire forum? I should just dress like a slob and therefore not stand out.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

It’s truly amazing. Two threads down from this one is dedicated to a conversation about the propriety of wearing oxfords with chinos and here I am getting **** about wearing a sport coat. Not a tuxedo, not a suit, but a sport coat. We talkin’ ‘bout a sport coat!

 

[Nobilis Animus]

Sorry, my wearing a sport coat and happening into a department store is wrong and “cos-play”?

what’s the point of this entire forum? I should just dress like a slob and therefore not stand out.

There does in fact seem to be an undercurrent of thought on the forum these days that CM is too 'stuffy' in general.

Instead of appealing to others' fears of standing out (the horror!), I wish those people would simply admit that they're bad at wearing CM. It isn't the end of the world - no internet points will be deducted.

 

[dieworkwear]

That vest outfit is among the top five ridiculous things I've seen all week. And one of those was a guy trying to eat a traffic pylon.

Aren't you the same person who posted these photos for outfit inspiration?

 

[Nobilis Animus]

Aren't you the same person who posted these photos for outfit inspiration?


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No, I never post pictures with the intention to inspire.

The OP, as you know, was looking for examples of how to wear braces over a shirt while jacketless. That's a very niche look, and one that generally pigeonholes someone into the above styles. In that sense, they're certainly illustrative.