• Hi, I am the owner and main administrator of Styleforum. If you find the forum useful and fun, please help support it by buying through the posted links on the forum. Our main, very popular sales thread, where the latest and best sales are listed, are posted HERE

    Purchases made through some of our links earns a commission for the forum and allows us to do the work of maintaining and improving it. Finally, thanks for being a part of this community. We realize that there are many choices today on the internet, and we have all of you to thank for making Styleforum the foremost destination for discussions of menswear.
  • This site contains affiliate links for which Styleforum may be compensated.
  • We would like to welcome House of Huntington as an official Affiliate Vendor. Shop past season Drake's, Nigel Cabourn, Private White V.C. and other menswear luxury brands at exceptional prices below retail. Please visit the Houise of Huntington thread and welcome them to the forum.

  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

    Styleforum is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

How to dress well in CM without standing out too much

Nobilis Animus

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2017
Messages
2,660
Reaction score
2,384
I think this is very interesting. I'm guessing there has been an influx of younger people discovering Styleforum, but finding the conservative CM a bit inappropriate for their age/work environment/climate/city.

I think this is something everyone goes through once they discover their interest in clothing and style. At first you read about pocket squares, boutonnieres, suspenders, shoes and suits. You try to incorporate the things you learn, probably overdo it and stand out too much. But over time you become more relaxed and confident with what works and what doesn't in your particular environment.

I can tell you that I would certainly stand out in my town just by wearing a worsted navy blazer with pocket square, but in New York no one would bat an eye. That's why I personally found this thread such a breath of fresh air, because the outfits posted are so much more appropriate for my environment.

I think I agree with all of this. The thread is actually interesting and useful, since it may help some to avoid overdoing things day-to-day. Otherwise they might just dismiss it all in frustration without examples of how to wear anything less than the most formal type of CM. The WAYWRN Casual thread sports some good pictures from time to time, but it's not very helpful as far as figuring out how to put those outfits together in the first place.

The only thing that bothers me is when some here assert that CM is, in fact, too stuffy for modern tastes, or that there is no way to wear suits or tailored clothing without standing out too much nowadays. This is simply a reflection of their lack of artistry, not one of the times. If they had lifestyles and social experiences that made tailoring unremarkable, except for its being complimented, then they wouldn't feel so out of place.

As for myself, I live in a big city and prefer a kind of smart-casual look as a default, adding in tailoring and whatever else in turn. Of course, the details and styling are my own personal touches. I find that this suits me and my tastes/social milieu best, and I'm not very bothered if anyone dislikes it.

Here are some seasonal examples of what I mean by smart-casual:

istockphoto-520741640-170667a.jpg

261fd63f2214a35f17d20ed91ed9849b--ralph-lauren-purple-label-modern-gentleman.jpg
brie-larson-tom-hiddleston-samuel-l-jackson-kong-skull-island-02.jpg

f84yojrjtv041.jpg
d18b87a4435f2093766f59d321b0172e.jpg

I'd easily wear any of that to go out shopping, run errands, etc., and adjust as needed. Brunch at a nice cafe? Tailored jacket and loafers. Cocktails and dinner? Sharp suit and scarf. Hitting the bars? Red wing boots and fine knitwear.
 

FlyingMonkey

Distinguished Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2011
Messages
7,131
Reaction score
11,035
This concept really isn’t limited to any one style though is it? If I showed up to the office wearing something like Post Imperial or Engineered Garments I would stand out.

Yes, indeed. And I do. And it's fine. Personally speaking, (not) standing out, isn't even a criteria for consideration. It's not like I dress in order to stand out, but I'm not bothered if I do. I dress for pleasure: for my pleasure and sometimes others, if they enjoy it too. I can gain that pleasure from a well-tailored suit, but also from the adiré dyed designs of a Post-Imperial shirt or the textures, colours and shapes of EG...
 

JohnMRobie

Distinguished Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2019
Messages
4,256
Reaction score
32,293
Yes, indeed. And I do. And it's fine. Personally speaking, (not) standing out, isn't even a criteria for consideration. It's not like I dress in order to stand out, but I'm not bothered if I do. I dress for pleasure: for my pleasure and sometimes others, if they enjoy it too. I can gain that pleasure from a well-tailored suit, but also from the adiré dyed designs of a Post-Imperial shirt or the textures, colours and shapes of EG...
Agreed on appreciating both. It’s nice being able to bounce back and forth on both sides of the forum but I also just couldn’t get away with it at my office.

I tried the rebellious thing and went out on an extreme when I was often the youngest one around the table. I handled a lot of our tech projects and tried to embrace the start-up don’t care vibe since I assumed that was how I was viewed anyways and that I could get away with it. My last hurrah where I felt like a dick and like I was trying too hard was showing up to guest lecture some 2L’s in my double rider. Regretted it the moment I stepped up to front of the auditorium. I settled back in and just dress for my day and environment now.
 

Nobilis Animus

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2017
Messages
2,660
Reaction score
2,384
This concept really isn’t limited to any one style though is it? If I showed up to the office wearing something like Post Imperial or Engineered Garments I would stand out. If I showed up in denim and a t shirt, I’d stand out. If I show up to work in any type of tailoring or business casual nobody bats an eye and assume I’m dressed for whatever I have going on that day. If I’m dressed more formally maybe it’s client facing meetings, if it’s chinos and a polo maybe I’m sneaking off after lunch to play golf. The guy who always wears a bow tie is the exception to that I suppose. He stands out, but it’s his thing so people just kind of expect it and it fits his personality.

On the other side of that coin, if I fully embraced the traditional CM vibe and showed up to my buddies dove or pheasant hunts wearing traditional shooting attire I’d stand out like a sore thumb and people would wonder why I was cosplaying. If I strolled into a neighborhood barbecue or tailgate wearing a suit and oxfords, I’d stand out and probably get asked where I was coming from or where I was heading after. If I showed up to those in chinos and an OCBD and a pair of LHS I’d be just fine and nobody would notice.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned in life is that unless I do something really far on one end of the spectrum and completely opposite of everyone else nobody really cares or notices what I do or what I wear, I’m just not that important. So the question I need to answer is how much will I feel like I stand out and do I care.

Right, exactly. And that's a question that needs answering in your own head - not one that relies upon other people's ideas of what is appropriate. Unless you're specifically in a situation where a uniform is imposed (like at work, or somewhere with a clearly-stated dress code), it's really up to you and what works for your style. I may indeed be standing out at some point, but that definitely doesn't bother me.

There's obviously a point at which an outfit could be inappropriate for an occasion, like wearing fancy things when you're going to get dirty. But as far as whether other people consider you too 'dressed-up' or not, that depends on your environment and whether you choose to give those opinions any credence. The people asserting that CM is out of place these days, even if appropriate and contemporary, are mistaken - it is they who are out of place, not the clothing.
 

ClassicStyle1950

Active Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2017
Messages
33
Reaction score
32
My observations on Wes
- course fabrics (corduroy, tweed, linen)
- caj shoes (wallabees)
- not overly pressed/rumpled

he is very stylized but still appears unforced
Needs to work on his socks......
 

pasadena man

Senior Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
618
Reaction score
1,061
. My last hurrah where I felt like a dick and like I was trying too hard was showing up to guest lecture some 2L’s in my double rider. Regretted it the moment I stepped up to front of the auditorium.
As Aristotle said, wisdom begins with self knowledge. I gained a little wisdom when, while trying on a double rider in a shop, I realized that I would only feel comfortable and congruent wearing it if I had been cast in a fetish movie ( Spoiler alert: didn’t, not gonna, happen).
 

ValidusLA

Distinguished Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2019
Messages
4,063
Reaction score
5,922
As Aristotle said, wisdom begins with self knowledge. I gained a little wisdom when, while trying on a double rider in a shop, I realized that I would only feel comfortable and congruent wearing it if I had been cast in a fetish movie ( Spoiler alert: didn’t, not gonna, happen).

I wore a double rider in college sometimes.
I didn't really look very good in it then, and would look worse in it now!
 

pasadena man

Senior Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
618
Reaction score
1,061
I wore a double rider in college sometimes.
I didn't really look very good in it then, and would look worse in it now!
If memory serves, you played prop in rugby? A double rider has a lot of physical, visual, textural, and psychological mass. As a result, the people I’ve seen who looked good in one had very light frames. Which a prop does not, and can not, have.
 

ValidusLA

Distinguished Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2019
Messages
4,063
Reaction score
5,922
If memory serves, you played prop in rugby? A double rider has a lot of physical, visual, textural, and psychological mass. As a result, the people I’ve seen who looked good in one had very light frames. Which a prop does not, and can not, have.

Right on all counts. Loose head prop.

I just wanted to dress like the cool kids!

I've never looked good in a leather jacket honestly. Besides having broad shoulders and a built frame, my personality is also just not....a match.
 

pasadena man

Senior Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2017
Messages
618
Reaction score
1,061
Right on all counts. Loose head prop.
Hats off to you. I played mostly flanker A side, but we often didn’t have a full B side and they would pester the flankers to fill in as needed. As a result, I played at some time every position except fly half. Prop was, by far, the most physically demanding in any team sport I have played. The only other sport that I could compare, in physical effort required, would be sport climbing.
 

ValidusLA

Distinguished Member
Supporting Member
Joined
Mar 14, 2019
Messages
4,063
Reaction score
5,922
Try triathlon... it's the transition from bike to run that really breaks you, especially in longer events.

Having been the rugger in question, I can say I never could have completed a triathlon. My uncle was a professional cyclist and Ironman, used to make me try that stuff. I'm a **** swimmer.

That said triathletes don't get punched in the face multiple times per event.
 

JJ Katz

Senior Member
Joined
May 31, 2018
Messages
622
Reaction score
674
I appreciate that the definition of CM is not precise or unchanging but I do think that if we're talking no 'tailored jacket' and no leather loafers/cae-ups and no buttoned shirt then it's not CM any longer.
So the answer is still: "no, in many places, today, you cannot wear CM and not stand out".
But you can stand out by degrees; sure.
So, in the SF "uniform" of near-jeans trousers, suede loafers, OCBD/Chambray shirt and not-too-formal jacket you will only stand out massively if you are in/at a very casual place/occasion.
But, say, in "caj" California I imagine you would stand out 95% of the time, to some degree.
 

RJman

Posse Member
Dubiously Honored
Spamminator Moderator
Joined
Dec 10, 2004
Messages
19,159
Reaction score
2,086
RJman ... is that YOU?
You know I _have_ been looking at hoodies (cashmere of course) recently, but haven't pulled the trigger. But I have just pulled the trigger on printing my book, which should be available on Amazon within a couple of days all over the world. (Hope this isn't prohibited commercial posting.) It took me seven years, but all you never wanted to know about steezy French makers of yore and present day, with lots of photos (a couple have suffered due to the mediocre print quality, but it's mostly all good). Buy it and help me pay off my tailors and shirtmakers!
 

Featured Sponsor

How important is full vs half canvas to you for heavier sport jackets?

  • Definitely full canvas only

    Votes: 55 35.5%
  • Half canvas is fine

    Votes: 60 38.7%
  • Really don't care

    Votes: 17 11.0%
  • Depends on fabric

    Votes: 27 17.4%
  • Depends on price

    Votes: 28 18.1%

Forum statistics

Threads
505,203
Messages
10,579,251
Members
223,890
Latest member
2sleight
Top