Groom and Groomsmen Style Advice?

[Steinschneider]

I'm due to get married in March 2023 in Phoenix, AZ, and I'm currently working on picking out my own outfit and the outfit my groomsmen will wear. The wedding colors are sapphire blue, sage green, and sand. The bridesmaids are all in long, satin, sage green dresses.

I recently purchased a blue, Bartorelli Napoli, 100% wool, two-piece suit. It has sort of a two-tone fabric that includes a very dark blue and a brighter royal blue mixed together, which gives something like a sapphire blue appearance. I am thinking to put a separate vest with the suit, along with a tie and pocket square, that will be a brighter, lighter blue, perhaps with a paisley pattern to pop out. Simple white shirt underneath, matte black shoes. I'll also try to find socks to match my tie.

There are three groomsmen, but one is actually a groomswoman who has agreed to wear the same style suit as the other two groomsmen, for uniformity. For the groomsmen, I'm thinking a different shade of blue suit, three-piece with included vest (instead of a bold separate vest, like I'm looking at for myself), and a sage green tie, pocket square, and socks to match with the bridesmaids. Again, simple white shirt underneath and matte black shoes.

Constructive feedback on these ideas and any suggestions for where to purchase or rent these items are welcome. Since one groomsmen is in LA and another is in NYC, I figured Men's Wearhouse would be the easiest for renting or buying, but I'm open to alternatives. Plus, I'm trying to keep the costs as low as possible to be kind to my groomsmen, who will be paying for their outfits. If you have a better idea for the overall outfit or a specific tweak, I'd like to hear that, as well.

 

[pierreretti]

I'm due to get married in March 2023 in Phoenix, AZ, and I'm currently working on picking out my own outfit and the outfit my groomsmen will wear. The wedding colors are sapphire blue, sage green, and sand. The bridesmaids are all in long, satin, sage green dresses.

I recently purchased a blue, Bartorelli Napoli, 100% wool, two-piece suit. It has sort of a two-tone fabric that includes a very dark blue and a brighter royal blue mixed together, which gives something like a sapphire blue appearance. I am thinking to put a separate vest with the suit, along with a tie and pocket square, that will be a brighter, lighter blue, perhaps with a paisley pattern to pop out. Simple white shirt underneath, matte black shoes. I'll also try to find socks to match my tie.

There are three groomsmen, but one is actually a groomswoman who has agreed to wear the same style suit as the other two groomsmen, for uniformity. For the groomsmen, I'm thinking a different shade of blue suit, three-piece with included vest (instead of a bold separate vest, like I'm looking at for myself), and a sage green tie, pocket square, and socks to match with the bridesmaids. Again, simple white shirt underneath and matte black shoes.

Constructive feedback on these ideas and any suggestions for where to purchase or rent these items are welcome. Since one groomsmen is in LA and another is in NYC, I figured Men's Wearhouse would be the easiest for renting or buying, but I'm open to alternatives. Plus, I'm trying to keep the costs as low as possible to be kind to my groomsmen, who will be paying for their outfits. If you have a better idea for the overall outfit or a specific tweak, I'd like to hear that, as well.

 

[pierreretti]

Hey man! I would check out a brand called Le Colonel - quite well known in France but it's the only place I can think of that does everything you want for your wedding. Nice quality and not too expensive. Let us know how it works out

 

[ValidusLA]

i will try to be as constructive as possible.
If you are looking to ameliorate cost in absolute terms, MW i suppose is probably the cheapest. If you had a "price target" on suits might get better advice.

1) You don't need to have grooms(wo)men in the exact same suits. If you stipulate "medium blue", "slate blue", "navy blue" etc that will be fine.
2) A matching tie / pocket square / sock combo is not a good idea. Recommend white linen pocket square and plain socks that match your suit.
3) Matte black shoes is somewhat unspecific. I think if you're wearing a blue suit you could wear black or dark brown shoes for your wedding. Cap toe oxford prefered.
4) I think a non-matching vest almost never looks good. Very costume / #menswear / dress-up.

On the subject of vests. For your grooms(wo)men, why not just skip the vests? If cost is an issue, skip the vest and get better suits.

I don't think grooms should focus on "standing out" versus groomsmen, or in general.

The groom will stand out by being the one getting married to the lovely bride.

 

[Steinschneider]

Thanks for the feedback. Definitely some good things to consider. I think some photos may be helpful here. As far as the non-matching vest for the groom outfit, this is the kind of non-matching I'm talking about, which I think creates a nice look:

I am leaning towards skipping the vest for the groomsmen, both to reduce cost and also open up more suit options. Something pretty simple, like this, probably with a pocket square added:

Resulting in something like this:

 

[ValidusLA]

So I think you are trending the right way by not having your groomsmen in vests. I will try to explain why I don't like this vest idea, and it ties in with some of the other ideas.

The beauty of classic menswear, when done well, is when it looks natural and comfortable. A lot of #menswear types have tried to fake this natural, casual, and organic feel by focusing on terms like sprezzatura and highlighting silly choices that look "Casual" or "Off the cuff" - like fun socks or the like.

I don't like the off-color vests for the same reasons I don't like matchy matchy square/tie combos or having the groomsmen all in one suit. It clearly looks like a wedding. It doesn't look like those men own those clothes or would ever actually wear them.

The clothes wear them.

The best wedding dress codes I've seen are:
1) Black Tie - This means for the entire wedding, not just the wedding party. I hate when grooms randomly wear tuxes.
2) Groomsmen in a shade of suit.
- I was in a wedding where the groom asked us all to wear charcoal suits. I wore a charcoal worsted herringbone 3 piece suit with peak lapels. Some of the groomsmen were in peaks, some in notch. Some had vests, some did not. Only stipulation was that no one wear DB and asked for black shoes. He provided classic wedding ties from Kent Wang as gifts, and we all wore white pocket squares. This looked really good.

 

[Steinschneider]

Interesting points. I have a different view of wedding party attire. To me, uniformity among the wedding party is symbolic of their allegiance to the bride/groom. It's intentionally contrived and not user's choice precisely because the bride/groom requested that it not be, and those closest to them graciously obliged. Of course, this should be within reason. I see no need to require a specific shoe, and I trust they can all find a suitable white button-down shirt to wear underneath. The suit itself, though, I want to be consistent because they are essentially wearing the uniform/kit I chose for my wedding "team." They aren't just wearing the blue suit that happened to be in their closet already because they don't just happen to be in my wedding party. It's essentially a not-so-grand gesture for the groomsmen to wear matching suits of my choice, and to make it as painless for them as possible, I'm trying to find something affordable that they can all agree they'll want to wear again at some point.

The wedding as a whole will have a "cocktail attire" dress code, so this will certainly not be a hyper-formal event or a show of cutting-edge fashion. Since the guests will be a somewhat random assortment of outfits, I think a somewhat "matchy" wedding party helps distinguish them when they are mingling after the ceremony, even if the suit jackets come off during the reception. I'm also not really going for a sprezzatura look by having a non-matching vest. It's more about wearing something I would never otherwise be able to get away with wearing because I'm the groom and get to make the rules for a day. I'm not trying to make it look like a goofy costume either, but something that has more flare than I would otherwise choose.

 

[ValidusLA]

It's intentionally contrived

I agree it is. If that's what you're going for, sure I guess. I do not think intentionally contrived and tasteful go together.

The suit itself, though, I want to be consistent because they are essentially wearing the uniform/kit I chose for my wedding "team."

Most grooms and (definitely) brides go into it with these thoughts. The wedding industry (epitomized by photos posted above) has tricked people into this thought process.

I think the inevitable outcome of this is when you look back at your photos in 20 years, they will look like prom photos.

I think a somewhat "matchy" wedding party helps distinguish them when they are mingling after the ceremony

Will they have boutonnieres?
Will they stand in front of the assembled guests near the altar (or other place of ceremony)?
Will they be in group photos? (I assume)
Will everyone be 100% aware already who is part of the wedding party? (Of course)

even if the suit jackets come off during the reception

Wearing a shirt and tie w/ no jacket looks bad, no matter what you are wearing.

It's more about wearing something I would never otherwise be able to get away with wearing because I'm the groom and get to make the rules for a day. I'm not trying to make it look like a goofy costume either, but something that has more flare than I would otherwise choose.

As I said before:

I think the beautiful woman you are binding your existence with should function enough to make you stand out.

-----

Clearly you don't really agree w/ the stipulations I've stated, and that's fine.

If you really just wanted to know where to get affordable matching outfits, then MW is probably fine.

 

[Vincentask]

I am also planing my wedding and thinking what i am going to wear, so this discussion is very interesting!

 

[Daniel Hakimi]

Constructive feedback on these ideas and any suggestions for where to purchase or rent these items are welcome. Since one groomsmen is in LA and another is in NYC, I figured Men's Wearhouse would be the easiest for renting or buying, but I'm open to alternatives. Plus, I'm trying to keep the costs as low as possible to be kind to my groomsmen, who will be paying for their outfits. If you have a better idea for the overall outfit or a specific tweak, I'd like to hear that, as well.

Alright, so, generally, renting a suit is a terrible idea. You're getting a used suit that you're not allowed to tailor, and the quality is usually pretty garbage, and the prices for a weekend rental are usually about half that of buying a similar suit new. If somebody asked me to rent a suit for a wedding, I would consider that a massive waste of money compared to buying my own to spec. One of your groomsmen might not see it that way, but that's my take.

I'd also generally say that, if you're willing to just say "blue suit," or give them a range of shades of blue, instead of specifying an exact color/fabric/brand they all have to match, and let them spend what they want to spend to get that done, that'd be the best solution. Same with each of the pieces. (Personally, I also think a loose aesthetic / color combo is better than a tight one: blue suit, and then pick a tie or shirt or waistcoat or pocket square in this shade of green, everybody fits the color scheme but everybody looks a little unique; this also loosens the requirements, letting Bob use the shirt he already has and Jim use the tie he already has, again softening the effective budget dedicated to your wedding. You can throw in a common boutonneire to add to the cohesion).

If you do want to try to get them the same suit... SuitSupply has stores in NYC and LA. Todd Snyder LA is opening next month. Spier and Mackay ships to both for free with free returns on your first suit, so that's pretty doable.

Men's Warehouse suits are mostly not very good, and they upsell on most of them. If you're getting a 100% wool suit from there for $200 or less, it's... fine, not as good as anything you'd get from the other three I mentioned, and not as good as their salesmen tell you it is, but fine.

 

[Steinschneider]

If you do want to try to get them the same suit... SuitSupply has stores in NYC and LA. Todd Snyder LA is opening next month. Spier and Mackay ships to both for free with free returns on your first suit, so that's pretty doable.

Men's Warehouse suits are mostly not very good, and they upsell on most of them. If you're getting a 100% wool suit from there for $200 or less, it's... fine, not as good as anything you'd get from the other three I mentioned, and not as good as their salesmen tell you it is, but fine.

I walked into a SuitSupply in Scottsdale, AZ, this past weekend hoping it would give me an alternative to MW. The salesman was HORRIBLE. I felt like we were speaking two different languages. He completely misunderstood every single thing I said about what I was looking for, even with multiple ways of saying what I meant, and kept bringing me back to the custom suit designing table, despite my fiancee making it clear we wanted to look at the rack suits first to see if any of them would work. He didn't care what we liked, he just wanted to assemble a custom suit he liked and get us to order it as quickly as possible. I'm sure this is not representative of all experiences with SuitSupply, but it made it very unlikely that we'll give them another shot. At least at MW when I haven't liked the personal style of the salesperson who randomly gets assigned to me, I'm able to work around them to find what I'm looking for. This guy was like working with a brick wall obstructing the whole process. I will say, though, from the brief look I got of the suits at SuitSupply, they looked much nicer than MW, so I wish we'd had a better experience.

 

[Daniel Hakimi]

I walked into a SuitSupply in Scottsdale, AZ, this past weekend hoping it would give me an alternative to MW. The salesman was HORRIBLE. I felt like we were speaking two different languages. He completely misunderstood every single thing I said about what I was looking for, even with multiple ways of saying what I meant, and kept bringing me back to the custom suit designing table, despite my fiancee making it clear we wanted to look at the rack suits first to see if any of them would work. He didn't care what we liked, he just wanted to assemble a custom suit he liked and get us to order it as quickly as possible. I'm sure this is not representative of all experiences with SuitSupply, but it made it very unlikely that we'll give them another shot. At least at MW when I haven't liked the personal style of the salesperson who randomly gets assigned to me, I'm able to work around them to find what I'm looking for. This guy was like working with a brick wall obstructing the whole process. I will say, though, from the brief look I got of the suits at SuitSupply, they looked much nicer than MW, so I wish we'd had a better experience.

Well that sucks. Yeah, if you need a store with a ton of locations, Men's Warehouse is one of relatively few options, so do what you gotta do. They might give you a sell too, but as long as you're going 100% wool for like $200 or less, you're not getting scammed. Or something half-canvassed and 100% wool for like ~$300, or... there are slightly better suits than that available, but try not to trust those salesmen either.

But I still think you're better off giving your groomsmen the color scheme, and the freedom to get the suit/shirt/tie they want to fit that color scheme.

 

[Steinschneider]

Just to follow up on this thread...

I ended up going with a blue Bartorelli Napoli suit, no vest, from a local tailor shop. Simple white button-down dress shirt underneath. Dark blue, subtly glittery bowtie from MW. Dark blue suspenders from MW. White silk pocket square from MW. Champagne dress socks from Macy's. My groomsmen wore a slightly more muted postman blue suit from MW they could all purchase and size where they live, with matching bowties, suspenders, pocket squares, and socks, which I provided in a really cool gift box with personalized engraved whiskey glasses. We all wore brown dress shoes, each a different but related style to add a little personal flare. We all looked amazing. The photos of us look so good, and the outfits had both form and function for lots of dancing all night.

 

[bicycleradical]

Just to follow up on this thread...

I ended up going with a blue Bartorelli Napoli suit, no vest, from a local tailor shop. Simple white button-down dress shirt underneath. Dark blue, subtly glittery bowtie from MW. Dark blue suspenders from MW. White silk pocket square from MW. Champagne dress socks from Macy's. My groomsmen wore a slightly more muted postman blue suit from MW they could all purchase and size where they live, with matching bowties, suspenders, pocket squares, and socks, which I provided in a really cool gift box with personalized engraved whiskey glasses. We all wore brown dress shoes, each a different but related style to add a little personal flare. We all looked amazing. The photos of us look so good, and the outfits had both form and function for lots of dancing all night. View attachment 1965659

If I may make a suggestion - have these men wear dark socks. The light color visible here between the hem of the trousers and the shoes is distracting.