“I Went To Wharton. It Goes Without Saying That You Should Want To F*** Me.”

I just realized what he means by being an "orphan" - his mom died two years ago...but I don't think you can be an "orphan" if you're an adult otherwise almost everyone's parents are orphans. Sketchy.

Originally Posted by dhc905

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I just realized what he means by being an "orphan" - his mom died two years ago...but I don't think you can be an "orphan" if you're an adult otherwise almost everyone's parents are orphans. Sketchy.

There was a great bit in a Curb Your Enthusiasm a couple weeks ago about this when Funkhouser's mom dies and he claims to be an orphan, which (of course) Larry calls him on.

I actually emailed this as aresult of another forum I post on. Just thought I'd share - this guy is clueless. His emails are in bold. For some background, someone found his old resume on-line and he lied about a lot of stuff. He also listed his age on his myspace account as 18 and on his modeling site as 31. It amazes me that he actually replies to emails from strangers with obviously fake names. He must be so famous now that he has the free time.

I am thinking about replying.

J, LA Guy, if I need to edit out his email address just let me know.

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Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:06:54 -0800
From: [email protected]
Subject: Email controversy
To: [email protected]


JFP,
I am still amazed at all the hullabaloo over your email exchange. A simple request - can you PLEASE stop mentioning the Ivy League? You are an embarassment. Attending a few courses at Wharton does not make you an Ivy League grad. I attended a few courses there too (I was INVITED to attend a seminar there); the funny thing is that my friends and I joked about how I could be a douchebag now and say I went to Wharton. You actually did it! It's amazing. A few things you can't deny:

You attended Ohio State University.
You've lied about your age numerous times, sometimes for pretty creepy reasons.
You brag about a combined 1,200 bench/press/squat, while 60 yr old Pat Robertson puts up 1,000 in leg press alone.
You are a 40 year old man whose mother died a couple of years ago and you call yourself an orphan. Sick.
You brag about being famous, yet OJ Simpson is famous too.
You paid $180.00 for a pair of braces yet the rest of your wardrobe looks straight out of the Paul Fredrick catalogue. $180.00 Braces on a $50.00 shirt is like lipstick on a pig.
You answer emails at all hours, yet claim to be some busy jet-setter.

And before you flame away on me:
I came from poor white trash and I've probably had just as much Ivy League education as you, have a law degree, an MBA, am only 31, and am a hell of a lot better looking than you. I don't need to surf dating websites, maybe if I was a washed up 40 year old I would, maybe?
I'm 6'2' and only 170 lbs, and my bench/press/squat is 1,170 and I'm admittedly weak. I didn't even know this standard existed until I read it and decided to see what mine was for comparison. I never work out.
No "beemer", but I have a Wrangler (which gets you a hell of a lot more girls, BTW). As far as the "acting" **** goes - you've been an extra a bunch of times. That really doesn't count.

You are an ass.

TRB

President:

I graduated from Penn. Get a friend to look it up, then apologize.

I never went to OSU. Find a grad to look me up - then apologize.

Pat Robertson is lying. I am not. I did brag about it, I list it as a statistic.

My mother died two years ago. I have no parents, grandparents or siblings. I am an orphan. Sorry if you don't like it.


I didn't cut two people's heads off.

I was in Jezebel's Best Dressed in '02 and was in Esquire's best dressed man in America contest a few months ago.


I defend myself at all hours, like a normal person would.

I would assume someone younger than me could look better than me. But put a pic on hot or not, and see if you beat an 8.9. And that is at my age.

I don't claim to have a JD/MBA. I don't need one in M&A.

You are not as strong as me, and yet have not passed the year of 35, when your testosterone starts to dip.

A jeep does not compare to a BMW convertible.

Look up Day Player.

Regards,

The famous man you are contacting!

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Date: Mon, 26 Nov 2007 08:28:46 -0800
From: [email protected]
Subject: Follow-up
To: [email protected]


JFP -

I guess my point is that you really need to change your mentality. I used to be the same way - obsessed with accomplishments and milestones and that type of thing. In the end though, it will never be enough. Someone will always be "better" than you. The thing is though - and this is real important - they really aren't "better" than you. Humans will naturally find a way to be miserable and a way to be happy, no matter how impoverished or opulent their lifestyle is. I have a accomplished a lot in my life (and failed at quite a few things), but it would all be meaningless without great friends and family. The abilities to laugh at yourself, to humble yourself in front of others, and to put others first are the greatest qualities you can have, not some ridiculously inflated rating on an internet website or a bit role in a Kathy Bates movie.
This is what you need to realize. Don't be focused so much on yourself - give a **** about other people - and you will be a lot happier (and, incidentally, a lot more attractive to the opposite sex).
Anyway, just some advice from someone you probably feel is "beneath" you.

TRB

PS - your rankings of people are just as meaningless as everyone else's rankings.

President:

There are people better than me, and I am better than others.

It is called net worth. The golden rule. He who has all the gold, makes the rules!

I have no family.

What makes you think I would ever have a problem with the opposite sex? She hit on me!

I use HON to rate my pix to put on my website - nothing more.

I don't need any advice from strangers. My life was cherry pie before the bloggers came out for blood!

Regards,

JFP

Wow. Who wants to bet he was raped as a child (repeatedly)? Clearly disturbed.

(I hold my head in my hands as I read the nonsense above and make sure that I'm not living in la-la land).

Jon.

Could he be the same person as Eric Glennie?

Originally Posted by RJman

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Could he be the same person as Eric Glennie?

That is an insult to Glennie.

Why the hell is he bragging about an 8.9 on Hotornot? That site seems skewed. I've got a 9.8, and I don't think I'm attractive.

Also, I'm extremely curious about his SAT/ACT/GMAT scores. Something tells me I match up favorably with him.

I was in the audience at 'Girlfriend you must be trippin show up on Ricki lookin like that youre busted!' - close up of me and everything.

By his criteria, I am practically Tom Hanks.

Couldn't resist, so I sent him this:

Lot to cover here, I really sent the second email because I felt bad for the nasty tone of the first. Your abilities at spin are a weird mixture of impressive and desparate, and there is just too much material to pass up. Point by Point.

President:

I graduated from Penn. Get a friend to look it up, then apologize.
You took courses at Penn. Big difference.

I never went to OSU. Find a grad to look me up - then apologize.
So a resume from 1998, that matches everything else about you except where you attended undergrad, is not of you? Another John Page perhaps?

Pat Robertson is lying. I am not. I did brag about it, I list it as a statistic.
There is video of Pat actually doing this, just as I'm sure there is of you getting your degree from Wharton. You did brag about it, you used it to make the case that you were worthy of the attention of some internet chick. It's pretty average, even for someone as old as you.

My mother died two years ago. I have no parents, grandparents or siblings. I am an orphan. Sorry if you don't like it.
I have never met anyone else whose parents died when they were adults that called themselves an orphan. Just you.

I didn't cut two people's heads off.
No. And you aren't the worst person in the world. However, you are famous in a similar way to OJ Simpson.

I was in Jezebel's Best Dressed in '02 and was in Esquire's best dressed man in America contest a few months ago.
I am sure the folks at Jezebel regret the decision. You were "in" the contest? So you sent in an entry form? Congrats! Really impressive.

I defend myself at all hours, like a normal person would.
No, you don't. If some random stranger emailed me, I would delete it.

I would assume someone younger than me could look better than me. But put a pic on hot or not, and see if you beat an 8.9. And that is at my age.
John, you check in four times a day and delete your negative rankings. This is so transparent. It's awesomely sad that you care that much about your ratings on a widely derided website to do this.

I don't claim to have a JD/MBA. I don't need one in M&A.
Actually, a law degree is extremely helpful in M&A. That's why there are M&A Attorneys. Or did you mean Modeling & Acting? Is that seriously your career focus? If so, you cannot consider yourself a success by any stretch of the imagination. Really. Have you looked at your IMDB profile?

You are not as strong as me, and yet have not passed the year of 35, when your testosterone starts to dip.
Right. And I don't work out and admit that I am skinny. I have been in the gym maybe a dozen times the last three years and I am still almost as strong. Incredibly sad.

A jeep does not compare to a BMW convertible.
No, it doesn't in terms of price or maintenance costs. Still, ladies love it.

Look up Day Player.
"There are no dictionary entries for day player, but day, player are spelled correctly." Your point?

There are people better than me, and I am better than others.
Hah.

It is called net worth. The golden rule. He who has all the gold, makes the rules!
So you, with your used BMW convertible and cramped buckhead condo aren't exactly making a lot of rules, eh?

I have no family.
This is probably best for humanity.

What makes you think I would ever have a problem with the opposite sex?
A glance at your photograph.

She hit on me!
And rejected you when she dug a little deeper. Can't say I'm surprised.

I don't need any advice from strangers. My life was cherry pie before the bloggers came out for blood!
No, you are/were a failed model/actor, cruising for love on a dating website.

Ugh. You know what? I'm a douchebag for even starting this crap. Going to take my own advice and not respond to whatever response he sends. I'm an ass.

Originally Posted by FLMountainMan

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Ugh. You know what? I'm a douchebag for even starting this crap. Going to take my own advice and not respond to whatever response he sends. I'm an ass.
Kind of. I almost feel bad for him but, God, what a waste of an existence.

Originally Posted by jonglover

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Kind of.

I almost feel bad for him but, God, what a waste of an existence.

Indeed, think of all the positive, meaningful things he could have done instead of wasting his time on this.

Jon.

Last post. My response on top. The white trash reference is from me admitting my family background is. It is, and I really don't care too much about it.

JFP,

I was going to write back and forth and string you along as much as I can, but I'm just creeped out now and a little disappointed in myself for even doing it. Winning a battle of wits with you is like winning the Special Olympics. Anyway, I hope you find peace someday.

TRB

John Page <[email protected]> wrote:

President:

I graduated from Penn. I'll bet you $100K. I have the degree on the wall and I am in the Penn database. Go get a non white trash friend to look it up!

There are pix of me on gay Appreciation stars bodies - do you believe that too?

I never said I broke any individual records. My stats are combined.

Do you know anyone at my age that has no siblings, parents or grandparents? NO.

I am famous for blowing off a chick via email. Shows the underbelly of America - when people like you come out.

Yes, that is why I am featured in Jezebel and in the inside front. Only a few people got 2 pix.

I will defend myself from all you psychos, nutbags and stalkers. I will either get you to go away or kick your ass or sue you. Pick one.

I check HON as girls hit on me on that site, too. As far as I know, you can't rate yourself. I use it to find the best pix for my website. If I rated myself, I would be a ten. You can't delete any ratings of yourself, good or bad. Try the site yourself.

I have been acting/modeling for 1.5 years on the side. I spent 1.5 years in Ohio, caring for my mom's estate. I think my resume is good, for a non-major market, over 1.5 years, for doing this on the side. I crushed the LSAT and GMAT, but thought MBA was more my style. I don't make moutains out of molehills, like lawyers do.

You are YOUNG. Enjoy your youth and beauty. At your age, I would eat your lunch. Hell, at my age, I eat your lunch.

No chick I would want to date would pick a Jeep over a BMW.

A day player is someone who works one day on a movie, has a line or two, gets a trailer (like you grew up in), makes $800 a day and is done. Think doctor, friend, lawyer, butler, etc.

Well, for instance, you can't carry my jockstrap in a dumptruck. That is one.

This is my intown crash pad. Look it up on AJC.com site. My car costs $50K new, has 36K miles and is a DEPRECIABLE asset. Plus, my buddy is a BMW tech and keeps it mint!

Listen. Who are people going to pick at the sperm bank - the Ivy League, 8.9 athlete or the white trash guy who is a stalker?

Dude, let's go to a bar in a neutral site. I will eat your lunch getting numbers. Where is your pic, white trash?

You can't reject someone you hit on. She knew she was outclassed. Where is she now, if she is SO HOT?

I don't hit on chicks on Match.com. They hit on me. Look it up.

So what do you want? To sniff my jockstrap? To fight? To eat my liver? I don't have time to waste, so let's get the point, stalker.

I will take you out with the trash, so when are you coming by?

Regards,

JFP

This is a little creepy, actually.