What do you do if your tailor tells you you're fat?

JayJay · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

As I was leaving, Salvatore suggested I eat more pasta. Somehow, I was not offended.

Bottom line: if you're not psychologically ready to face your physical faults, you probably shouldn't go to a custom tailor.
I've also been told by alterations tailors to gain weight. Never found it offensive but being told to gain seems easier to accept than being told to lose weight.

Mr. Moo · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

Consider it parting advice. I lost weight before visiting Ambrosi in Naples last year, so they had to take in my trousers. As I was leaving, Salvatore suggested I eat more pasta. Somehow, I was not offended. Bottom line: if you're not psychologically ready to face your physical faults, you probably shouldn't go to a custom tailor.
So, how many times would a tailor have to say "you're short" or "well, since you're short..." or "if you weren't so short..." before you, at least, thought to yourself "OK, enough already, I get it"?

dv3 · Oct 15, 2009

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globetrotter · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by Mr. Moo

So, how many times would a tailor have to say "you're short" or "well, since you're short..." or "if you weren't so short..." before you, at least, thought to yourself "OK, enough already, I get it"?

that, I think, is the key.

hey, we know we're fat. we either don't think we can do anythig about it, or we are working on it. but we know it. so you don't have to tell us.

a possible exception - you approach somebody who is huge and unhealthy and tell them about the trick you used to loose weight, and how it made your lfe better. even then it is iffy.

TheFoo · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by Mr. Moo

So, how many times would a tailor have to say "you're short" or "well, since you're short..." or "if you weren't so short..." before you, at least, thought to yourself "OK, enough already, I get it"?

I don't know. I don't view being short as a bad thing, so I don't get offended by being identified as such. If I was sensitive about my height, I'd probably be a much harder client to work with and get less optimal results.

I met with Luca Rubinacci the other day. We discussed the possibility of converting my one-button jackets to three-roll-to-two jackets. His advice was to stay with my current configuration due to my height. He reiterated my height as an issue when we discussed shaping my shoulder on future orders. I've been working with Luca, his father, and my cutter in Naples for two years or so, and my height has never stopped being an issue to contend with.

When you choose to take the bespoke route, you will find that your physique is always an issue. Really, would you have it any other way?

globetrotter · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

When you choose to take the bespoke route, you will find that your physique is always an issue. Really, would you have it any other way?

I guess it depends on how it is addressed. it doesn't really bother me. I remember a few times my tailore commenting on my adding or dropping a few pounds between fittings, but the way he discussed it didn't bother me.

j · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

are you sure? it was always like that i think. it is not your imagination?
GRRRR!!

Mr. Moo · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I don't know. I don't view being short as a bad thing, so I don't get offended by being identified as such. If I was sensitive about my height, I'd probably be a much harder client to work with and get less optimal results.

I met with Luca Rubinacci the other day. We discussed the possibility of converting my one-button jackets to three-roll-to-two jackets. His advice was to stay with my current configuration due to my height. He reiterated my height as an issue when we discussed shaping my shoulder on future orders. I've been working with Luca, his father, and my cutter in Naples for two years or so, and my height has never stopped being an issue to contend with.

When you choose to take the bespoke route, you will find that your physique is always an issue. Really, would you have it any other way?

I understand this - I am sure there was reason for the Rubinaccis to mention your height when you asked them why a 3-roll-2 wouldn't work. And I'm sure you asked something else and they explained it to you and possibly finished with "because of your height" and gave you that Italian smirk that a grandmother would giver her grandson when teaching him a life lesson. Those are fine, and if my tailor decided to say "Ilya, you need to drop a few pounds because of A, B and C" and he mentioned it a few times throughout the meeting. But if I am walking out the door and he says "hey Ilya, you're fat" I'd probably wonder why he needed to reiterate this again, at this particular time. Would I take offense? Probably not. But I wouldn't be particularly cheery about it, either. Do you see the difference?

HomerJ · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I don't know. I don't view being short as a bad thing, so I don't get offended by being identified as such. If I was sensitive about my height, I'd probably be a much harder client to work with and get less optimal results. I met with Luca Rubinacci the other day. We discussed the possibility of converting my one-button jackets to three-roll-to-two jackets. His advice was to stay with my current configuration due to my height. He reiterated my height as an issue when we discussed shaping my shoulder on future orders. I've been working with Luca, his father, and my cutter in Naples for two years or so, and my height has never stopped being an issue to contend with. When you choose to take the bespoke route, you will find that your physique is always an issue. Really, would you have it any other way?
That would be the same as this

Originally Posted by mjHession

when I was leaving she says (maybe as a joke) i only need to loose 40 more pounds to look good in a suit.
if Rubinacci said as you were leaving, you only need to grow 6 more inches to look good in a suit. Sounds like you got tailoring advice and OP got rudeness.

mjHession · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by Ahab

I am starting to think you look for reasons to get offended about your weight and make it into a cause cÃ

lÃ¨bre. Sure I think I know it is your problem but you sound like you also want to make it other people's problem as well.

I have no idea why they changed their attitude, if they really did, but I could see it just as much as they do not want to be accused of discrimination from so overly sensitive clod as any other reason.

I don't intend to make a big deal out of it, I found it strange that one of the first things this women said to me was I am to young to be this big, that's generally speaking not a good way to start a conversation or a relationship. What I found more offensive was that I told her this offended me, that I had lost significant weight, and that she didn't seemed to be fazed by it. I don't think she intended to be rude, but I felt she was, and she didn't seem to be fazed by me telling her that. It could be alot of things, but they sure seemed to act a bit different this morning, Anyhow I didn't intend to make it into a "cause celebre" just thought it would get some laughs. And I am very please with the service I recieved today at Centofani.

TheFoo · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I guess it depends on how it is addressed.

Agreed. There are unnecessarily rude, offensive ways of discussing one's physique. But discussing a client's weight (whether there's too little or too much of it) is perfectly within propriety of the job a custom tailor is hired to do, and there is no indication within the OP's account that the tailor was necessarily rude or offensive.

Rolex Luthor · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by mjHession

2 leaving the coat unbuttoned as that would probably look okay,

Frankly, this would have offended me as much as the fat comment. What kind of tailor advises you to leave your coat unbuttoned?

mjHession · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by globetrotter

I guess it depends on how it is addressed. it doesn't really bother me. I remember a few times my tailore commenting on my adding or dropping a few pounds between fittings, but the way he discussed it didn't bother me.

I agree, I dont think the women intended to offend me, but as previously stated it was one of the first things she said to me, and i think thats why it was offensive, If I had been going there for quite some time and was well acquainted with her I think it would have been taken by me differently. Clearly we just go off on the wrong foot.

mjHession · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by Rolex Luthor

Frankly, this would have offended me as much as the fat comment. What kind of tailor advises you to leave your coat unbuttoned?

My understanding is this is somewhat normal for a morning coat with the waistcoat on underneath, at least a few people have suggested this to be okay

TheFoo · Oct 15, 2009

Originally Posted by Mr. Moo

I understand this - I am sure there was reason for the Rubinaccis to mention your height when you asked them why a 3-roll-2 wouldn't work. And I'm sure you asked something else and they explained it to you and possibly finished with "because of your height" and gave you that Italian smirk that a grandmother would giver her grandson when teaching him a life lesson. Those are fine, and if my tailor decided to say "Ilya, you need to drop a few pounds because of A, B and C" and he mentioned it a few times throughout the meeting. But if I am walking out the door and he says "hey Ilya, you're fat" I'd probably wonder why he needed to reiterate this again, at this particular time. Would I take offense? Probably not. But I wouldn't be particularly cheery about it, either. Do you see the difference?

Yes. I can't change my height, but an overweight person can lose weight. In fact, it would be healthy for him to do so, tailoring issues aside. Moreover, the tailor's daughter didn't say, "Hey ___, you're fat!" She gave him specific advice with respect to taking better advantage of the product they sell.

What do you do if your tailor tells you you're fat?

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