What is the best rumor you have ever heard about yourself?

[Mark from Plano]

I went to a small Christian College where no drinking was allowed. If they found out you'd had even one sip of wine they would expel you for the rest of the year and might or might not admit you to return in the future. The night we graduated, a buddy of mine and I decided to throw a big party and invite only graduating Seniors who couldn't get into trouble. We rented the clubhouse of a local apartment complex and started spreading the word.

Needless to say, when the word got out many more than just graduating seniors showed up and we had over 200 people there (out of a total of 1,800 in the student body). I was drinking early and often that night and for the one and only time in my life I lost everything that happened after about 10:30 that night.

Because I was (a) so drunk, (b) a host of the party and (c) people did not think of me as a "partier", there were lots of stories that circulated in the following days. Some of them may or may not have been true but the major rumor that I heard from everyone (including the Dean of Students a couple of weeks later) was that I had spent the night in a dumpster. This one is categorically untrue and I know it was because I woke up the next day in a strange bedroom in a house where a buddy of mine had taken me to keep me from doing something stupid like spending the night in a dumpster.

 

[imageWIS]

Originally Posted by Thomas

Speaking of vicious, I heard about you and that copy machine.

They make copy machines with marital aid attachments?

 

[crazyquik]

No good ones.

I did go to a bar with a friend a few nights ago, and Friend saw this other guy he knew and introduced us. The Other Guy said he knew of me and had heard of me and my reputation precedes me

 

[Mr. Moo]

The best rumor I've heard about me is that I went to a party one night dressed as a woman, hit on a forum moderator and then shoved a huge marital aid in his ass. Just rumors though.

 

[sho'nuff]

one of my previous jobs in 2007 when i left one of the lady admin assts (had issues with her) there was spreading a rumor that i stole stuff from the company. ??? i was like wtf?? this one friend from there told me about it via email she asked if it was true or something and like the admin was trying to report it to the police.
of course i was no longer there (left to go to another job) so i couldnt defend myself. im sure that place still has an image of me being a thief.
i asked her what specific items is she alleging i stole, and she said i took a laserjet printer for one thing. that the admin saw me take it to my car.

whatevers. lol. that is MY PERSONAL laserjet printer i had at work and put it back into my car before i left that place. what an idiot. if i were to steal ANYTHING wouldnt they figure i would steal the much smaller items that can be EASILY CONCEALED in my pocket that is worth WAY MORE? like drives and little things like that. i had full access to their IT room. i had access to that place on the weekends whenever i wanted. would they think that i would steal or plan to steal at a more opportune time than to lug a huge WORTHLESS old laserprinter in full daylight during the busy morning in front of everyone?

haha

 

[HRoi]

rumor is i'm **** because i visit this place called a "style forum"

 

[Piobaire]

While no rumor about me will ever approach that of the OP, when I was in undergrad, a rumor got circulated that I was banging a fairly hot, just made professor. I'm happy to report that it wasn't really much of a rumor, because it was 100% true

 

[unjung]

Only bad ones that are worth repeating. That I beat my girlfriends and that I was fined $10,000 by my college fraternity. Neither remotely true.

 

[JustinW]

I killed a man in Australia, then fled to the US. He was either shagging my wife/gf or I was shagging his.

Not a grain of truth to it .... but I didn't do anything to deny it when I heard variations of this were doing the rounds of the office a few years ago.

 

[Mark from Plano]

Originally Posted by JustinW

I killed a man in Australia, then fled to the US. He was either shagging my wife/gf or I was shagging his.

Not a grain of truth to it .... but I didn't do anything to deny it when I heard variations of this were doing the rounds of the office a few years ago.

Someone once started a rumor that I had killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.


No...sorry...that was Johnny Cash.


NVM.

 

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by m@T

OK, I have heard the following rumor about myself a few times in the past month or so...it reflects upon me pretty damn well for something that is completely false, so *******, I'll let it go round....

We were at a party a month or so ago, me and two girls who I know very well but am basically not involved with.

All on e. Those two started making out. They are both hot. Like, hot hot. This made for great viewing pleasure.

Girl 1 crashes hard on her pill, bit of ketamine in there maybe, I put my arm around her, walk her out.
Girl 2 grabs my other arm....'Matt, I still wanna kiss'...'kiss my arm'....'OK'

So I walk through a crowded club with a semi-conscious hottie under one arm, and another hottie gnawing away at the other.

I have now heard repeatedly that I left early for a threesome with two of the hottest women in town who'd spent the whole night making out in front of me to turn me on.

This is officially the best rumor I have ever heard about me...I told both girls, who thought it was pretty funny, so can't be accused of too much from them...one of them had heard it too, and was like 'wait, that was me!'

Anyhow, since it is causing me Friday afternoon amusement, what is the best rumor you have ever heard about yourself?


same

 

[EL72]

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

 

[Matt]

other end of the spectrum....back in high school, I had broken my wrist playing Aussie rules football, had it in a plaster cast. 2 guys from class ran around and told The Whole ******* School that masturbating with my cast was making ******* skin flake away. I was nicknamed 'Flaky' for like two years. Bastards....although I'll give them credit....if it was about someone else, I probably would have thought it was damn funny

 

[kwilkinson]

There's a rumor going around that I only have one nut.

 

[gdl203]

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

There's a rumor going around that I only have one nut.

There are much better ones.