Today My Wife Said: "I hope he poops on your Barker Blacks!"

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by w.o.e.is.me., Feb 17, 2011.

  1. Achilles_

    Achilles_ Senior member

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    Do you think I cared that the cat might not be able to ascertain that he was being pissed on because he pissed on my clothes? The cat hated me. He had shit and pissed all over my clothes and my house since his furry little spawn of Satan ass arrived. He knew exactly what he was doing. He had to actually claw my jeans off of the ironing board in order to piss on them.

    I had warned the wife before, if he did it again, I was pissing on him.

    So, while I sat in my office all day smelling dried cat piss on my jeans, I steadily drank water. When I got home, I put him in the deep tub, where he was unable to escape, and I pissed all over that motherfucker. It was one of the most satisfying pisses I ever took.

    Mike


    I'm actually a little scared of you now Mike [​IMG]
     
  2. MBreinin

    MBreinin Senior member

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    Oh, I know some of you cat people are going to think I am crazy, or fucked in the head for pissing on a poor, defenseless and handicapped cat...but the President of fucking PETA would have pissed on that cocksucker if he or she had endured what that thing put me through. I am also positive that this motherfucker will never die, and will have the last laugh by pissing on my grave. I am sure the wife will gladly bring him by for a little cristening.

    I should tell you the story of the bedroom remodeling.......

    Mike
     
  3. DerekS

    DerekS Guyliner

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    my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.
     
  4. w.o.e.is.me.

    w.o.e.is.me. Senior member

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    my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.

    fiancee huh?
    give it time friend.
    soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."
     
  5. Achilles_

    Achilles_ Senior member

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    my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.


    Nice! [​IMG]
     
  6. Achilles_

    Achilles_ Senior member

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    fiancee huh?
    give it time friend.
    soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."


    I am a newly-wed and I took over my wife's desk organized from IKEA (incidentally it works great for holding my shoes!). SHe laughs about it now but we will see how long that lasts [​IMG]

    I'm running out of room though and she will notice if shoes start popping up around the edges [​IMG]
     
  7. HEPennypacker

    HEPennypacker Senior member

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    So, while I sat in my office all day smelling dried cat piss on my jeans


    Was this just added for storytelling flavor, or did you really wear your piss-soaked jeans to work? [​IMG]
     
  8. Xiaogou

    Xiaogou Senior member

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    I pissed on my wife's handicapped cat after he pissed on my jeans, for the third or fourth time.

    Mike


    Why didn't you just piss on the cats jeans? Now he's gonna piss on you!!

    [​IMG]
     
  9. MBreinin

    MBreinin Senior member

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    Was this just added for storytelling flavor, or did you really wear your piss-soaked jeans to work? [​IMG]

    I DISCOVERED the piss at work. I kept smelling it, then I tracked it down...to my jeans. I had to literally hide in my office all day so nobody would smell me. It had dried, of course, which is why I did not notice it at first.
     
  10. teddieriley

    teddieriley Senior member

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    Wait, you smell that?
    Oh, I know some of you cat people are going to think I am crazy, or fucked in the head for pissing on a poor, defenseless and handicapped cat...but the President of fucking PETA would have pissed on that cocksucker if he or she had endured what that thing put me through. I am also positive that this motherfucker will never die, and will have the last laugh by pissing on my grave. I am sure the wife will gladly bring him by for a little cristening.

    I should tell you the story of the bedroom remodeling.......

    Mike


    Pissing on the cat, as funny and gratifying for you as it was, is no big deal, and actually quite level-headed. If it were me, and I'll probably get flooged for this, I would have beat the shit out of the cat without any remorse, specifically in the situation that you know the cat hates you and does shit to make your life miserable thinking it's OK because he's adorned by the significant other. F that. my house.
     
  11. wEstSidE

    wEstSidE Senior member

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    "Your sweater looks like the ragged crumpled $hit that old women used to knit in villages back in India"

    This was the sweater ($2985 suggested retail, bought for ~ $350 on SF)

    [​IMG]

    Wife mad? She thinks you're gay?

    Now there is a Solution! Sell it to me.
     
  12. Mr. Moo

    Mr. Moo Boxercise Toughguy

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    There are some depraved people on this forum...
     
  13. MrGimpy

    MrGimpy Senior member

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    Pissing on the cat, as funny and gratifying for you as it was, is no big deal, and actually quite level-headed. If it were me, and I'll probably get flooged for this, I would have beat the shit out of the cat without any remorse, specifically in the situation that you know the cat hates you and does shit to make your life miserable thinking it's OK because he's adorned by the significant other. F that. my house.

    What does "flooged" mean? Does it mean "people to realize what an asshole I am"?
     
  14. k4lnamja

    k4lnamja Senior member

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    "Your sweater looks like the ragged crumpled $hit that old women used to knit in villages back in India"

    This was the sweater ($2985 suggested retail, bought for ~ $350 on SF)

    [​IMG]


    I don't want your marriage to be in jeopardy. I'll take one for the team and you can go ahead and send it to me. Of course, I'd pay the shipping charges.

    [​IMG]

    Cheers
     
  15. Metlin

    Metlin Senior member

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    fiancee huh? give it time friend. soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."
    Spoken like a man in the know. Clearly, the solution is to hold her handbags and shoes hostage.
     

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