Today My Wife Said: "I hope he poops on your Barker Blacks!"

[teddieriley]

Originally Posted by MrGimpy

What does "flooged" mean? Does it mean "people to realize what an asshole I am"?

Yes. I also meant flogged.

 

[cimabue]

Was visiting friends and my vintage fishtail parka fell from the back of the sofa to the floor where the cat pissed on it. We laughed about it but precious would have died if I had my way.

 

[csoukoulis]

Originally Posted by MBreinin

Do you think I cared that the cat might not be able to ascertain that he was being pissed on because he pissed on my clothes? The cat hated me. He had **** and pissed all over my clothes and my house since his furry little spawn of Satan ass arrived. He knew exactly what he was doing. He had to actually claw my jeans off of the ironing board in order to piss on them.

I had warned the wife before, if he did it again, I was pissing on him.

So, while I sat in my office all day smelling dried cat piss on my jeans, I steadily drank water. When I got home, I put him in the deep tub, where he was unable to escape, and I pissed all over that motherfucker. It was one of the most satisfying pisses I ever took.

Mike

******* AWESOME! I hate cats!

 

[MBreinin]

Originally Posted by teddieriley

Pissing on the cat, as funny and gratifying for you as it was, is no big deal, and actually quite level-headed. If it were me, and I'll probably get flooged for this, I would have beat the **** out of the cat without any remorse, specifically in the situation that you know the cat hates you and does **** to make your life miserable thinking it's OK because he's adorned by the significant other. F that. my house.

Beating it or killing it or causing it serious physical harm was not an option. I would not do that anyway, no matter how tempting. However, the wife endorsed pissing on it. She thought perhaps it would cure the behavior.

Nope.

I also used the cat as a "feline sponge" to clean up several pools of cat piss he left on the wood floor. Nothing would cure the problem. Eventually, it worked itself out though.

 

[pvrhye]

Originally Posted by MBreinin

Beating it or killing it or causing it serious physical harm was not an option. I would not do that anyway, no matter how tempting. However, the wife endorsed pissing on it. She thought perhaps it would cure the behavior.

Nope.

I also used the cat as a "feline sponge" to clean up several pools of cat piss he left on the wood floor. Nothing would cure the problem. Eventually, it worked itself out though.

My cat's fucked up at least 3 shirts and 5 sweaters so far.

 

[Slewfoot]

My wife often says "please don't buy any more clothes." At least that's what I think she says as I can't really remember. Oh, look! A new package arrived...

 

[pstoller]

On the one hand, I sympathize, having had insane and hostile cats foisted upon me in the past. On the other, though, I have to say that it all depends on the particular cat and particular man. When my wife insisted on a cat, I was prepared for the worst, but the little hairball thinks the sun shines out of ****** and would probably take a bullet for me before he'd piss on my clothes. (And I for him before I'd piss on his fur.)

Also, the Mrs. is not inclined to complain about my Barker Blacks, Lobbs, or Berlutis, given that we've converted an entire room in the house into her shoe closet.

 

[zjpj83]

I had a cat that got shut in an under-sink cabinet once, too. They just like to climb in things / lay on top of things. If you have a laptop open, guaranteed that in under 5 minutes your cat will come lie over the keyboard.

 

[SpooPoker]

Originally Posted by MBreinin

I pissed on my wife's handicapped cat after he pissed on my jeans, for the third or fourth time.

Mike

Oh man Mike.

 

[slaxer]

Originally Posted by zjpj83

I had a cat that got shut in an under-sink cabinet once, too. They just like to climb in things / lay on top of things. If you have a laptop open, guaranteed that in under 5 minutes your cat will come lie over the keyboard.

I have my laptop connected to my tv sometimes, as soon as I leave the laptop alone for one second the damn cat's sleeping on the laptop. I kid you not, I once had to reach behind the tv to reconnect he hdmi cable and the cat was already on the laptop. Possessive little ****.

Lucky all my cat wants to do is sleep on my clothes, at least the ones that I leave on my bed. I am yet to have a cat ruin any clothing. Although when I was younger my mother had a cat that hated my father, to the point it would piss in his shoes, and only his, if he left them in the open. As a kid I though that was absolutely hilarious.

 

[UrbanComposition]

This is why I have a dog.

 

[razl]

As someone who is in the cat rescue business, I'll pass along a tip that just might help a lot of you here: enzymes.

Cat piss is notoriously hard (read: impossible) to get out of stuff. Even a good washing of clothes rarely gets rid of it, the stuff has a half-life like you wouldn't believe. And, like Mike said, it can linger to where you know you can still smell the stuff, but where-the-**** is it coming from?

There's special enzymes you can get that you can spray on the affected areas and - no joke - the enzymes eat the cat urine (and lots of other smelly stuff) and break it down into gas and die. It's the only thing that works.

Unless you have no other option, do not get the liquid pre-mixed versions in the pet stores. The enzymes in it are probably already mostly dead. Get powdered stuff that you have to mix - the enzymes can stay inert in powder form for years and wake up with warm water. If you can't find it locally, get some online - I usually get odormute, but there are other brands and it's all retty much the same stuff.

Since it's just water and enzymes, you can spray it safely on just about anything - clothes, furniture, floors, whatever. Once the water evaporates, the enzymes dry back up and all you have is fine powder. Depending on how much urine, it might take a couple of applications, but the damn stuff works. It's what they use in kennels. If they didn't have this, there would be places on the earth that would be abandoned to cat urine smell.

Hope this helps somebody!

 

[wEstSidE]

Originally Posted by MBreinin

Beating it or killing it or causing it serious physical harm was not an option. I would not do that anyway, no matter how tempting. However, the wife endorsed pissing on it. She thought perhaps it would cure the behavior.

Nope.

I also used the cat as a "feline sponge" to clean up several pools of cat piss he left on the wood floor. Nothing would cure the problem. Eventually, it worked itself out though.
while that type of torture is hilarious to me, you should just euthanize it

 

[SpooPoker]

This thread, I can say has gone places I never thought it would go.

Well done, gents.

 

[NORE]

My wife is all, "but tell 'em how much you paid for them..."

Jealous.