Things your dumb friends post on facebook

[otc]



Yeah, facebook is really good at making the simplest things quite complicated. I presume it's because they really don't want to encourage people to make personal details private (as it takes away from the point).

have you seen how hard they just made it to untag a photo? Used to be a 1 click process.

 

[RSS]

First, I don't have dumb friends.
Second, I don't visit facebook.

 

[indesertum]

then why are you posting here

 

[RSS]



First, I don't have dumb friends.
Second, I don't visit facebook.

then why are you posting here

Technically you don't qualify as a friend.

 

[APK]

This is less common on Facebook, but can we directly tie the creation of Twitter and Tumblr to the overwhelming rise in people taking pictures of seemingly everything they eat and then posting them? I'm a narcissist, but even I know people don't give a damn about how many avocado slices I'm eating.

 

[Seanallen]

This one is class.

OP: Yeah; then to christinas. Jared tried to break into her dads truck.
Jared:nah was robbin n i had to fixmy **** thought she was cool guess not tryna call the po on me i think she did o snitch ass ***** **** you vito tricked my female nicca

 

[sonick]

I have one friend that keeps posting his personal daily anecdotes on my wall, which I don't give two ***** about. Especially since he can be cynical as ****.

rofl harry rosen mailed me a douchey magazine that supposidly costs $5 but is free, that showcases their fall collection.

Just coz he wears PUMA t-shirts and jean shorts with sandals to dinner, that makes a the Harry Rosen magazine 'douchey'... mmm ok...

 

[musicguy]

deleted

 

[deadly7]



This one is class.

OP: Yeah; then to christinas. Jared tried to break into her dads truck.
Jared:nah was robbin n i had to fixmy **** thought she was cool guess not tryna call the po on me i think she did o snitch ass ***** **** you vito tricked my female nicca

WTF does this even mean?

 

[musicguy]

Translation: I had to fix my car so I broke into a friend's dad's car for parts. I thought she was cool and would let me steal from her dad. She proceeded to call the police. She is a ***** for calling the police on me.

What a ******* marsupial.

 

[CouttsClient]

A bagel says a lot about a person.
For instance if a man walks into a bagel shop and says...
"Hi, Id like a plain bagel, toasted and buttered please..."
He is basically saying...
"Hi, my name is Alex, I'm white and extremely boring, I have nothing to offer and I build miniature cars in my moms basement."

Some comments:

"Hi, I'd like an everything bagel, lightly toasted with garlic and chive cream cheese please...oh and I've got a groupon!"
He is basically saying...
"Hi, my name is Navneet, I am an application developer and I make six figures but I'm still cheap as hell and my breath smells like gym socks"

‎"EVERYBODY IN THE BAGEL SHOP DROP EVERYTHING AND GET ON THE FLOOR!!! YOU THERE, PLAIN BAGEL GUY, TAKE THIS BAG AND START COLLECTING WALLETS, PURSES, AND JEWELRY. GARLIC AND CREAM CHEESE BAGEL GUY, GO DISABLE THE SECURITY SYSTEM AND HURRY! EVERYBODY ELSE STFU AND DON'T MOVE!!!"

He is basically saying...

"Hi, my name is Koohyar, I am robbing you guys and will most likely get away with it because the police report will undoubtedly describe me as 'African American male'."

 

[lasbar]



Technically you don't qualify as a friend.

Some people are a bit confused on the internet friends concept...

 

[Thomas]



Some people are a bit confused on the internet

Fixed, but I'm not sure why.

 

[lasbar]



A bagel says a lot about a person.
For instance if a man walks into a bagel shop and says...
"Hi, Id like a plain bagel, toasted and buttered please..."
He is basically saying...
"Hi, my name is Alex, I'm white and extremely boring, I have nothing to offer and I build miniature cars in my moms basement."

Some comments:

"Hi, I'd like an everything bagel, lightly toasted with garlic and chive cream cheese please...oh and I've got a groupon!"
He is basically saying...
"Hi, my name is Navneet, I am an application developer and I make six figures but I'm still cheap as hell and my breath smells like gym socks"

‎"EVERYBODY IN THE BAGEL SHOP DROP EVERYTHING AND GET ON THE FLOOR!!! YOU THERE, PLAIN BAGEL GUY, TAKE THIS BAG AND START COLLECTING WALLETS, PURSES, AND JEWELRY. GARLIC AND CREAM CHEESE BAGEL GUY, GO DISABLE THE SECURITY SYSTEM AND HURRY! EVERYBODY ELSE STFU AND DON'T MOVE!!!"

He is basically saying...

"Hi, my name is Koohyar, I am robbing you guys and will most likely get away with it because the police report will undoubtedly describe me as 'African American male'."

I love the smell of good old racial steroetyping in the evening...

I can smell cotton fileds and Southern gents sipping bourbon under the stars..

 

[RSS]



I can smell cotton fileds and Southern gents sipping bourbon under the stars.

I'll have you know that tmes have changed. Before dinner I drink a martini (with an olive which I proceed to eat). After dinner it's single malt. Nothing -- not even a cotton plantation in the South -- is they way it used to be. Nowdays we Southern gents -- albeit very young gents -- get sent off to New England (or England) for schooling.

BTW ... do you know that HM QEII owns a plantation in Mississippi?