Pocket Square or Boutonniere?

[sharpdressed]

Hello esteemed members of SF,

This is my first post, but I have been a long-time reader of SF.

My wedding is coming up, and most elements (inlcuding my outfit) are all set. My bride has asked that I wear a boutonniere, which I'm happy to do. Personally, I think the boutonniere adds formality and has a certain charm to it. Prior to this, I was anticipating using a pocket square. As a note, I tend to like the way a pocket square breaks up space on a suit more than how a boutonniere does.

I know the traditional rule is to go with either a boutonniere or a pocket, but not both. Is this one of those rules that can occasionally be broken (for example with a white pocket square)?

Increasingly, I have seen photos where men are using both. Certainly this can make the the left side look too busy.

I've also even seen photos of people wearing the pocket square on the left, and a boutonniere on the right! I have an understanding that the boutonniere should only be worn on the left lapel.

I would love to know your thoughts on this. Is there some flexibility to wear both at once? Or is it just simply a faux pas to wear both?

 

[GBR]

Your choice but both is acceptable these days. Flowers can wilt and/or fall off and so go for both.

 

[sharpdressed]

Your choice but both is acceptable these days. Flowers can wilt and/or fall off and so go for both.

Thanks, GBR. I'm leaning towards both and just keeping them each on the simpler side. What are your thoughts on wearing the boutonniere on the right-hand side?

 

[Johnsson]

The "buttonhole" in the lapel is for the flower (left hand side).

 

[starro]

You can do both, on the left side. Make sure to select a flower that's appropriately sized for the lapel, not monstrously large. And make use of the functional buttonhole and the loop in the back to secure flower stem, not pin it like a troglodyte.

 

[An Acute Style]

At this point in my life, I just take it for granted that any wedding party including the groom are going to look a little wonky in some regard. To be honest, I don't really care that they look wonky. I'm there to celebrate the love of two people. No one is going to remember including yourself most likely what you were wearing or how big your flower is. All that being said, start your marriage off on the right foot and just do whatever your significant other thinks is best. Good luck and congratulations.

ps. I'd go with a smaller flower, proportional to your jacket lapels and a pocket square. That's just me though.

 

[sharpdressed]

Thanks for all your thoughts and advice.

I will work with the florist to make sure the flower is proportional to the lapel.

I was toying with the idea of pinning the flower to the right-hand side (knowing that this isn't traditional and is not necessarily the intended spot) beacuse I think it gives better balance to the chest and I tend to like symmetry. However, now I'm planning on going for both on the left-side since this seems to be the consensus here.

 

[starro]

Whatever you do OP, just don't pin the flower on to the lapel. The correct way is to pass the stem through the buttonhole and the tack stitching on the back of the lapel (that stitching can easily be added). So only the flower petals proper would be showing.

Lapel flowers have been worn since the time of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert in the 1850s. Pocket squares since the 1910-20s. So there was a couple of decades where the two were seen together on well dressed men, on the same side. Both are traditional, and there is no reason for anyone to impose his views of what looks "balanced" on a tried and true practice.

Lastly, some of the wedding photos in the OP are glaringly bad. Do not follow their examples.

 

[sharpdressed]

Thanks for that added history. Was planning on having a silk latch added if I went for the left-side flower so that I could wear it properly.

Lastly, some of the wedding photos in the OP are glaringly bad. Do not follow their examples.

I agree with that! I especially thought so on the two guys that are wearing tie bars on their vests (is this a thing??) and the guy with the tie bar that exceeds the width of his tie.

 

[maxalex]

Look at just about any picture of Prince Charles at an opening or ceremony. He'll be wearing both a flower and a pocket square. And often a lapel pin as well.

Do not ever pin a flower to your lapel. If your jacket lacks a stem loop you can sew one on in about five minutes, it takes no special tailoring skill and will not be seen anyway.