Pathological Liars

[thinman]

Originally Posted by A Canuker

They would say that's $150.00 a hour to talk about it.

Yes, and I think my ex would benefit from investing heavily in the services of a psychologist/psychiatrist.

Originally Posted by SField

I always wonder, and I don't mean disrespect to you Rube, but divorced people always sound so hateful of who they married. I know so many people, like my ex's mom, when I went to their place over the holiday last year, she'd sit and tell me about her crazy ex-husband.

I always wonder, did you not see that **** comming? People don't suddenly stop one day and say "today, I think I'm going to become a crazy asshole". Especially in the case of people with serious issues, I just don't get why they marry these people.

I also don't hate my ex. She can still be a very charming woman, but since we don't have kids or anything else that requires us to interact, she has become irrelevant to me. I think time eventually mellows peoples' feelings toward their ex-spouses.

Some of the reasons for blindness to a spouse/fiancee's faults has to do with the "frog/pot/bring the water to a boil" effect. The **** became evident to me only gradually. Nonetheless, sufficient signs were there before I got married that I should have known. So I must confess, I got into deep **** because I was thinking with the little head instead of the big one.

 

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by thinman

..."frog/pot/bring the water to a boil" effect...
Perfect explanation.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by thinman

Yes, and I think my ex would benefit from investing heavily in the services of a psychologist/psychiatrist.



I also don't hate my ex. She can still be a very charming woman, but since we don't have kids or anything else that requires us to interact, she has become irrelevant to me. I think time eventually mellows peoples' feelings toward their ex-spouses.

Some of the reasons for blindness to a spouse/fiancee's faults has to do with the "frog/pot/bring the water to a boil" effect. The **** became evident to me only gradually. Nonetheless, sufficient signs were there before I got married that I should have known. So I must confess, I got into deep **** because I was thinking with the little head instead of the big one.

Wait...wha???

frog / pot / bring the water to a boil???

 

[why]

I have a friend that does this. He's calmed down a bit about it now, but it took a lot of people calling him out for him to eventually stop.

 

[thinman]

Originally Posted by Thomas

Wait...wha???

frog / pot / bring the water to a boil???

You know, put a frog in a pot of water and turn on the heat. The heating is so slow, the frog dies before he realizes he's being cooked and jumps out of the pot.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by thinman

You know, put a frog in a pot of water and turn on the heat. The heating is so slow, the frog dies before he realizes he's being cooked and jumps out of the pot.

Ahhh, that makes sense now. Thanks.

 

[FidelCashflow]

Originally Posted by aleeboy

Well, this guy suddenly quit his job and ran his father's LARGE company.... I'm not saying that what you are hearing is true, but there are some cases where that type of person is telling the truth. I think the issue here is that the guy is a total Douche! Which I think there is no doubt that he is.
I think there is a 1/1,000,000 this guy is telling the truth, but then again there's a 1/1,000,000 chance that anyone you meet at your office is secretly a multi-millionaire. The only thing I know about him for sure is that his dad is the VP of a local newspaper. I'm sure it pays nicely, but at last count this guy's "car collection" must be worth like $300,000. He tells everyone about his $10,000 custom-made diamond encrusted watch, which he never wears to the office because "he doesn't want the yummy-mummy's all over him." He wore it to a company soccer tournament once, one guy saw it and swears it said "Guess Collection" on the dial.

One of the crazier things he's told me to date is that his friend is super loaded, and has a H2 Hummer truck with a Smart Car in the trunk for a gas tank and he has a bumper sticker that says "the smart car is my gas tank." (I kid you not, he said that in front of me and 10 people)

This guy has so many stories, I could start an entire thread entitled "Stupid **** my co-worker says" like Conne.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by thekunk07

my mom lies about everything and i think she genuinely has come to believe them from years of telling them.

my dad's like that, too. once you understand and simply don't believe what he says, he's a great guy, but its hard getting over the lieing part. I have met with some of my cousins, and their parents - my dad's siblings, all had some range of the same issue. it has made me extremly strict in my adherence to the truth, but I am always very curious to understand what caused the this.

 

[hossoso]

I've never had any sort of relationship/been related to a pathological liar and for that reason have a very different view than the rest of you. I find them to be quite entertaining and will willingly lead them on to see how far they are prepared to take their lies. Many of them are quite gifted story tellers and if not...well, that is usually pretty gratifying too. The floundering and back pedaling, that is. I realize it would likely be much less funny if the lies were told with any sort of malice or about my mama. But, were I to be given the choice, if I had to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a bar/party, I think I would prefer a liar over a bore.

 

[nootje]

met 2 pathological liars im my life so far, befriended them both and found out a bit later, both owe me a bit of money still, not that I expect to see it again.. Common trait in both of them? Both were unhappy with their lives and social position, (either by upbringing or coming down, bankruptcy etc..) but did not want to put in the hard work to get (back) there themselves.. Most of the time looked down on people that earned their money the hard way and tried hard to look and act upper class, and needed to lie about their financial positions as a result.

What it boils down to for me: both of them have really low self esteem, not having the courage to face up to the situation, and basically wanting to have everything placed in their lap.. Thats my experience with liars

 

[AstroWolf]

oh where to start?

yoru co worker is lying, how old is he? that would perhaps explain a lot. people like that are amazing, they feel the stress and just keep it going, they know they are blowing it i think, but they keep it coming. i met a kid recently whos whole life revolves around this image of being from brooklyn, now we have beat it out of him hes never been to ny. people lie, its fun to watch them squirm, but sad too.

i hate my ex fiance of 4 years, shes a **** who lied constantly to me in so many ways that it made ME nuts. she ended up breaking up with me cause i was always mad, but mostly i was mad she was such a bad liar that it got to me. when we broke up she said to me "now that we broke up i can tell you the honst truth". haha, classic.

as far as lies go, i think that the patho ones are so good at it that you dont notice, you will never notice, they do it well, and thats what makes them patho at it. you can be excessive in your story telling, but if you have a real problem not even you know it, cause in the end, you start to believe it.

when i was a kid i was forced to lie by my partents for all sorts of things, in the end, this will make you a lying hero, or someone who hates lies to the most and will be repulsed by them completely. my new GF had the same thing, she is a completely honest person, i on the other hand, am not.

just some thoughts...

 

[FidelCashflow]

Originally Posted by AstroWolf

yoru co worker is lying, how old is he?

Early 20's

Originally Posted by AstroWolf

i met a kid recently whos whole life revolves around this image of being from brooklyn, now we have beat it out of him hes never been to ny. people lie, its fun to watch them squirm, but sad too.

Sounds like this guy. He keeps telling us about how he's mafia connected, how he gets into brawls every weekend, etc. On one occassion one someone said to him "dude, your life is straight out of a rap video"... he took that as a sincere compliment.

Originally Posted by nootje

Common trait in both of them? Both were unhappy with their lives and social position,(

I think this might be part of the equation. He does strike me as someone who has difficulty forming relationships, at least at work. Also, I think he might have some insecurity because there are some very wealthy people at our firm, but not the guys like me who he's telling all these stories to.

 

[nootje]

Originally Posted by FidelCashflow

Early 20's
I think this might be part of the equation. He does strike me as someone who has difficulty forming relationships, at least at work. Also, I think he might have some insecurity because there are some very wealthy people at our firm, but not the guys like me who he's telling all these stories to.

I'm just guessing here but does he try to establish a picture that he is at least as rich as those guys or even richer? It doesnt matter that you guys arent the people he wants to trump, he wants to have you believe that he belongs to their "class" and with that feel like the alpha in your group.. Idiotic I know, but those guys really want to paint a picture of riches to be able feel like the alpha male in a group..

 

[FidelCashflow]

Originally Posted by nootje

I'm just guessing here but does he try to establish a picture that he is at least as rich as those guys or even richer?
From what I've heard, yes. Apparently he will wander into a partner's office, ask them about their weekend, and if they say they went to some exotic destination, he'll say he went somewhere more exotic. If they were shopping for a new Mercedes, he'll say he brought a new BMW, etc. I'm pretty sure he wants to make himself out as an alpha male of sorts. The part that confuses me is how he thinks it is convincing. His antics have earned him quite a reputation around the office. I can't figure out how he doesn't sense people around him don't buy it, even when some people flat out tell him he's full of it. I'm really wondering if there's some sort of learning disability that causes this. I can understand people fudging how much they make, or things here and there within reason. But there's a certain point, where even the person telling the lie realizes their story is beyond belief to any intelligent person. For example, we were having a company ball hockey tournament. He said he'd play goalie, and the day before was telling everyone he had a $1,600 custom goalie mask made just for the tournament with graphic designs from some guy who does lots of work for NHL goalies. The day of the tournament he's a no-show, and on Monday says something suddenly came up. One guy who was pretty sick of his stories flat out told him "don't talk to me again until you show me a receipt for the mask." You think this would slow him down, but he just keeps churning these stories out.

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by FidelCashflow

From what I've heard, yes. Apparently he will wander into a partner's office, ask them about their weekend, and if they say they went to some exotic destination, he'll say he went somewhere more exotic. If they were shopping for a new Mercedes, he'll say he brought a new BMW, etc.

I'm pretty sure he wants to make himself out as an alpha male of sorts. The part that confuses me is how he thinks it is convincing. His antics have earned him quite a reputation around the office. I can't figure out how he doesn't sense people around him don't buy it, even when some people flat out tell him he's full of it. I'm really wondering if there's some sort of learning disability that causes this.

No one of the sheer wealth that this guy purports to have would bother working in his job in the file room (or even my job for that matter). On a few occasions, people have flat-out asked him "Why do you bother work here if you're that rich?" But he always seems to have some incredible story ready to go.

my father is actually very bright. but he is a terrible liar. my wife is an acheologist - when my father met my wife he started talking about a friend of his who was an archeologist, and within about 30 seconds, he was cought up in his story - there was simply no way for him to avoid inconsistancies or an illogical statement. I don't know why he does that - the only thing that I can think of is that pathological liars believe that everybody else is lying, too, and don't really think it is that bad to get cought.