Non-tux (groomsmen) wedding wear suggestions?

[Fabienne]

Then it is the men's fault.

PS: unless they do not care.

 

[globetrotter]

Then it is the men's fault.

PS: unless they do not care.

when I got engaged, I suggested to my fiance that I owuld like a slightly unusual wedding, being that I was already 30 and didn't like the idea of her family paying fo rthe wedding, and couldn't really afford to pay for a traditional wedding myself, and that I didn't really feel that a normal wedding fit my self image. I suggested that we either take 100 friends to our favorite resteraunt for dinner, or have 300-400 people for a cocktail party with a nice jaz band and really good drinks and finger food. Her reaction was "yes, dear, what a great idea, but lets tweak that a little". needless to say, I ended up with a sit down dinner for 300, very traditional, with all the traditional aspects.

looking back, I can say 2 things - our wedding was a great deal of fun and every body loved it, and I should have just minded my own business from the start. I would recomend the same to any man.

 

[johnnynorman3]

Amen -- but if the bride asks for rented tuxes, the man should reserve the right to protest.

 

[FIHTies]

...I suggested to my fiance... ...Her reaction was "yes, dear, what a great idea, but lets tweak that a little".

Obviously a very smart woman... Careful, GT

JJF

 

[Fabienne]

Quote:

(Fabienne @ 07 Jan. 2005, 09:04) Then it is the men's fault. PS: unless they do not care.
when I got engaged, I suggested to my fiance that I owuld like a slightly unusual wedding, being that I was already 30 and didn't like the idea of her family paying fo rthe wedding, and couldn't really afford to pay for a traditional wedding myself, and that I didn't really feel that a normal wedding fit my self image. I suggested that we either take 100 friends to our favorite resteraunt for dinner, or have 300-400 people for a cocktail party with a nice jaz band and really good drinks and finger food. Her reaction was "yes, dear, what a great idea, but lets tweak that a little". needless to say, I ended up with a sit down dinner for 300, very traditional, with all the traditional aspects. looking back, I can say 2 things - our wedding was a great deal of fun and every body loved it, and I should have just minded my own business from the start. I would recomend the same to any man.
Flexibility is a good thing. Giving up on your wants and needs because you are married (or getting married) is not for me. And I wouldn't impose anything on my husband. Our respective wedding experiences, Globetrotter, started with the same idea (not going for traditional), but we stuck with it, despite pressure from all sides. It was small. We invited only people we truly cared about. I did not choose "my color". I did not have bridesmaids. I did not wear a traditional "Cinderella dress". (I tried one on just to see and burst out laughing.) There is only one thing we allowed someone in the family to impose, and that is the one thing we regret.

 

[TCN]

Amen -- but if the bride asks for rented tuxes, the man should reserve the right to protest.

Unless it's white-tie . . . not too many of those hanging in people's closets, or a future need for the ensemble.

 

[globetrotter]

Quote:

(globetrotter @ 07 Jan. 2005, 12:47)

Originally Posted by Fabienne,07 Jan. 2005, 09:04

Then it is the men's fault. PS: unless they do not care.
when I got engaged, I suggested to my fiance that I owuld like a slightly unusual wedding, being that I was already 30 and didn't like the idea of her family paying fo rthe wedding, and couldn't really afford to pay for a traditional wedding myself, and that I didn't really feel that a normal wedding fit my self image. I suggested that we either take 100 friends to our favorite resteraunt for dinner, or have 300-400 people for a cocktail party with a nice jaz band and really good drinks and finger food. Her reaction was "yes, dear, what a great idea, but lets tweak that a little". needless to say, I ended up with a sit down dinner for 300, very traditional, with all the traditional aspects. looking back, I can say 2 things - our wedding was a great deal of fun and every body loved it, and I should have just minded my own business from the start. I would recomend the same to any man.
Flexibility is a good thing. Â Giving up on your wants and needs because you are married (or getting married) is not for me. Â And I wouldn't impose anything on my husband. Our respective wedding experiences, Globetrotter, started with the same idea (not going for traditional), but we stuck with it, despite pressure from all sides. Â It was small. Â We invited only people we truly cared about. Â I did not choose "my color". Â I did not have bridesmaids. Â I did not wear a traditional "Cinderella dress". Â (I tried one on just to see and burst out laughing.) Â There is only one thing we allowed someone in the family to impose, and that is the one thing we regret.
F, eight years later, my wife does a great impersonation of me meeting her mother for the first time to talk about the wedding - picture a fish pulled out of water and gasping for air.. my wife and I have a great give and take relationship, but in retrospect I see that what for me was a great party, for her was something that she had thought about al her life and had very specific thoughts about. Where as I have very few family connections, she is very attached to a large and extended family. the bottom line, what she wanted was more important to me that what I wanted, in terms of the wedding. I really can't imagine any men that I know having given too much thought to their weddings, and it seems a very logical place to let your wife have her way. 8 years later, all we have are memories of the party, and some pictures. we have an exceptionally strong foundation, though.

 

[johnnynorman3]

Quote:

(johnnynorman3 @ 07 Jan. 2005, 09:52) Amen -- but if the bride asks for rented tuxes, the man should reserve the right to protest.
Unless it's white-tie . . . not too many of those hanging in people's closets, or a future need for the ensemble.
If it is white tie, I imagine you'd have to get some high quality rentals anyways, in which case it would be acceptable. But I think a Mexican-made 100% polyester monstrosity that has had its sleeves adjusted 200 times since 1989 is just totally unacceptable to put your groom in.

 

[Fabienne]

my wife and I have a great give and take relationship, but in retrospect I see that what for me was a great party, for her was something that she had thought about al her life and had very specific thoughts about. Where as I have very few family connections, she is very attached to a large and extended family. the bottom line, what she wanted was more important to me that what I wanted, in terms of the wedding. I really can't imagine any men that I know having given too much thought to their weddings, and it seems a very logical place to let your wife have her way.

Right, if a person does not especially care about particular choices, then there is no question. Â I am just raising the point of people who give up on trying to have a conversation about issues. Â It is saddening for me to see men or women unhappy in their marriage because they let the other person make the decisions. Â Give and take, as you said, that's the key. Â In my marriage, I don't feel that I am asked to give up much, if anything. Â I hope he doesn't ever. I never had a picture of what my wedding day would be like. Â I only knew I wanted it to be about love, not about dress choices and white flowers in little girls' hair. Â Once I met my future husband, the choices we made for the wedding just came naturally. But man, it's unbelievable the amount of social pressure when it comes to weddings, pregnancy, raising children... You'd better not walk a different path, or else... Â I still remember the time I told one of my friends that no, I wouldn't do the garter belt thing. Â It was as if it were the most anti-American statement there is. Â He felt cheated, somehow. In the end, I think he enjoyed our unconventional, unpredictable wedding. Â