Need wedding tux advice

[Despos]

@Shoedddude
what style dress is your wife to be wearing?
How formal or casual is it?
assuming it is a daytime wedding, correct?

 

[Shoedddude]

@Shoedddude
what style dress is your wife to be wearing?
How formal or casual is it?
assuming it is a daytime wedding, correct?

It is a day time wedding, and it is outdoors. It feels a bit too formal to be wearing black tie for this wedding in general, and we're not requiring/requesting black tie of our guests. Which is why I was hoping to do a bit of a twist on it and bring the formality down, but still wear something more celebratory and special than a business suit. ?

I am not sure about her dress really, as she is not telling me much, but I checked with her recently and she said she thinks her plan for the dress would look good with a suit or a tux but she'll let me know more soon. So I can wait a couple weeks and check back in.

 

[Despos]

What you wear should harmonize with the degree of formality of her attire. If not, you create a disparity that will be obvious at some point when you see the pictures over time.
Dont wear anything that competes, distracts or takes away from focusing on her. What you wear should be complimentary without overshadowing.
Key to wearing a tuxedo is to appear completely natural and a sense you are as comfortable as wearing pajamas.

 

[Shoedddude]

What you wear should harmonize with the degree of formality of her attire. If not, you create a disparity that will be obvious at some point when you see the pictures over time.
Dont wear anything that competes, distracts or takes away from focusing on her. What you wear should be complimentary without overshadowing.
Key to wearing a tuxedo is to appear completely natural and a sense you are as comfortable as wearing pajamas.

Alright I'm back. I have some updates.
I stopped in to Suitsupply the other day and made an appointment for a couple Fridays from now when wife-to-be can join me in there. They said it takes about 3-4weeks for a suit or tux so I still have PLENTY of time.
I then stopped in to Bonobos, basically right next door. I tried on suits there one time a couple years ago but couldn't remember how they fit. I tried one on in a 36. It fit me like a glove, right off the rack.
I then tried on the "Tux" jacket they have as well. Fit fine. But I Didn't feel like the lapel on it was that shiny...not even sure that it was truly satin or silk.
Is it "classy" to be somewhat understated in the shine department?.... I kinda wanted it to "pop" a bit more, like I think I'll find at Suit supply.
Also I don't think Bonobos has a Navy tux so there's that. I'm still into the Navy tux.

Meanwhile I'm getting a boxy, crap suit from Jos. a Bank, required for my buddy's upcoming wedding, tailored at the local Nordstrom's because my previous Tailor closed permanently. The Nordstrom lady measuring me seemed to be eastern European of some sort so that has to be a good thing right?

Question:
When I was trying on the Bonobos suit I noticed something I've been noticing on myself in suits alot lately. I don't really like how high the collars on my shirts rise up above the collar of the jacket. Idk if it's the way I'm shaped or what, but I feel like it's one of those things I'm finally starting to notice that will help me "dial" in how I should truly look in and wear a suit.

Here I'll post some pictures

 

[Shoedddude]

Alright I'm back. I have some updates.
I stopped in to Suitsupply the other day and made an appointment for a couple Fridays from now when wife-to-be can join me in there. They said it takes about 3-4weeks for a suit or tux so I still have PLENTY of time.
I then stopped in to Bonobos, basically right next door. I tried on suits there one time a couple years ago but couldn't remember how they fit. I tried one on in a 36. It fit me like a glove, right off the rack.
I then tried on the "Tux" jacket they have as well. Fit fine. But I Didn't feel like the lapel on it was that shiny...not even sure that it was truly satin or silk.
Is it "classy" to be somewhat understated in the shine department?.... I kinda wanted it to "pop" a bit more, like I think I'll find at Suit supply.
Also I don't think Bonobos has a Navy tux so there's that. I'm still into the Navy tux.

Meanwhile I'm getting a boxy, crap suit from Jos. a Bank, required for my buddy's upcoming wedding, tailored at the local Nordstrom's because my previous Tailor closed permanently. The Nordstrom lady measuring me seemed to be eastern European of some sort so that has to be a good thing right?

Question:
When I was trying on the Bonobos suit I noticed something I've been noticing on myself in suits alot lately. I don't really like how high the collars on my shirts rise up above the collar of the jacket. Idk if it's the way I'm shaped or what, but I feel like it's one of those things I'm finally starting to notice that will help me "dial" in how I should truly look in and wear a suit.

Here I'll post some pictures


View attachment 1758238 View attachment 1758237

Does anyone know what is causing that? Am I just being crazy and that's how it's supposed to look? I think I don't like it because it makes me look young... like my shirt and jacket are eating my neck.
The Bonobos guy didn't have much in the way of suggestions in my opinion.

Here's a comparison to how I like it to look and think it SHOULD look on me.

(Also here's that dinner jacket pictured above...anyone know anything about Hawes and Curtis? Are they good? https://www.hawesandcurtis.com/mens...NVu-1g6YSd1KbRJ72-oUaaHAZCaLcnKgaAtuuEALw_wcB)

 

[classicalthunde]

FWIW I would double the estimated delivery time and then bake in a week or two more for alternations. If I was in your shoes I would place my order at least 2-3 months prior to the big day

if you want a bit of shine to pop and you're going custom through SuitSupply, see if they have any wool-mohair mixes. I would shoot for somewhere around 75 wool/25 mohair give or take.

with regard to the lapel facings, there are generally two kinds that are often used: grosgrain which is a ribbed silk and tends to be more matte and satin which is a flat shiny silk. Its generally a matter of preference on these, but just make sure that your tie matches your lapel facings

maybe try a custom shirt as well? it does look like you have a longer neck, but these are things that should/can be correceted for by a custom garment and custom shirt

 

[Shoedddude]

I went into Suit Supply yesterday and tried on 3 different fits in terms of structure..Washington, Havana and something else.
The Havana is most like what I had in mind, but it is very unstructured and I am thin with somewhat narrow shoulders (36), so I considered going with something with more structure.

Anyway, i'm really here to talk about the shirt. I still feel like they are riding up on my neck way above the collar of suit collars. It seems maybe like I need someone to measure the length between my neck and my shoulder, and get that length correct in a custom shirt. Then the shirt wont ride so high up my neck, and the suit collar will come up and cover it appropriately in the back. Thoughts?

 

[khoshiko]

I went into Suit Supply yesterday and tried on 3 different fits in terms of structure..Washington, Havana and something else.
The Havana is most like what I had in mind, but it is very unstructured and I am thin with somewhat narrow shoulders (36), so I considered going with something with more structure.

Anyway, i'm really here to talk about the shirt. I still feel like they are riding up on my neck way above the collar of suit collars. It seems maybe like I need someone to measure the length between my neck and my shoulder, and get that length correct in a custom shirt. Then the shirt wont ride so high up my neck, and the suit collar will come up and cover it appropriately in the back. Thoughts?
View attachment 1779100

Just in case you're still working on your wedding fit - I see what you're saying about the collar height, but I think that is just the shirt style you have, not the suit. Is that collar a bit tight? That may make it sit a little higher on your neck since necks are wider at the bottom than the middle.

Separately, how goes the tux search? I'm looking for a different style tux (black peak lapel) for a wedding I'm in this fall, and but have struggled finding any non-SuitSupply options in the ~$700 range. If you're already married, mazel!

 

[Shoedddude]

Just in case you're still working on your wedding fit - I see what you're saying about the collar height, but I think that is just the shirt style you have, not the suit. Is that collar a bit tight? That may make it sit a little higher on your neck since necks are wider at the bottom than the middle.

Separately, how goes the tux search? I'm looking for a different style tux (black peak lapel) for a wedding I'm in this fall, and but have struggled finding any non-SuitSupply options in the ~$700 range. If you're already married, mazel!

I got my tux! Still haven't found the right shirt for it though, and I can confirm I'm not crazy ...see the attached posts from GQ.

I brought these up to the guy at Suitsupply to bolster my argument a bit..and he made a comment about "oh GQ from 2017 might be wrong..."
Well infact, these are even older than that, 2001, and yet I don't care...seems like timeless advice to me.

But where, oh GQ, does one find a small collar dress shirt!?!?

 

[The Dirty Pigeon]

I got my tux! Still haven't found the right shirt for it though, and I can confirm I'm not crazy ...see the attached posts from GQ.

I brought these up to the guy at Suitsupply to bolster my argument a bit..and he made a comment about "oh GQ from 2017 might be wrong..."
Well infact, these are even older than that, 2001, and yet I don't care...seems like timeless advice to me.

But where, oh GQ, does one find a small collar dress shirt!?!?

You're referring to collar height. Depending on your height, neck length and overall proportions, what looks "right" for you might be different for someone else. When you buy shirts off-the-rack, you are getting whatever the shirt maker has decided will work for the most buyers at that time. Some brands have higher collars and others lower. Made to measure brands offer many different collar types with varying heights. Proper Cloth is an example.

If you still have questions about fit, I'd suggest going on YouTube and watching the two part series from Gentleman's Gazette on "How a suit should fit." They cover most of the details you've asked about in this thread as well as many that you probably haven't considered. You can also check out the black tie video as well that covers all of the basics of traditional black tie attire for men.

I'm not sure how things worked out for your wedding ensemble but... your enthusiastic attention to details that most average people don't notice leads me to believe that you are destined for a long road of experimentation and trial and error until you eventually arrive at bespoke. Make sure your disposable income matches your fervor.

 

[Shoedddude]

You're referring to collar height. Depending on your height, neck length and overall proportions, what looks "right" for you might be different for someone else. When you buy shirts off-the-rack, you are getting whatever the shirt maker has decided will work for the most buyers at that time. Some brands have higher collars and others lower. Made to measure brands offer many different collar types with varying heights. Proper Cloth is an example.

If you still have questions about fit, I'd suggest going on YouTube and watching the two part series from Gentleman's Gazette on "How a suit should fit." They cover most of the details you've asked about in this thread as well as many that you probably haven't considered. You can also check out the black tie video as well that covers all of the basics of traditional black tie attire for men.

I'm not sure how things worked out for your wedding ensemble but... your enthusiastic attention to details that most average people don't notice leads me to believe that you are destined for a long road of experimentation and trial and error until you eventually arrive at bespoke. Make sure your disposable income matches your fervor.

Ha ha great response and advice.

I ended up going with a proper cloth shirt and a suit supply tux and I think I'm going to be very happy. The shirt fits amazing! Will post some final pics of the ensemble once it's all together and we get married...in one week from today!

 

[The Dirty Pigeon]

Ha ha great response and advice.

I ended up going with a proper cloth shirt and a suit supply tux and I think I'm going to be very happy. The shirt fits amazing! Will post some final pics of the ensemble once it's all together and we get married...in one week from today!

Good to hear. My first tuxedo shirt was from Proper Cloth and it served me well. I'll be looking forward to those photos. Have a great wedding!