Need help (girl of my dreams)

[Neo_Version 7]

Originally Posted by TKJTG

Apparently I missed the swim suit pic? Sonnofa....

It looked like something from J. Crew but I can't be sure.

 

[Church's Goer]

Originally Posted by Gordon Gekko

You might want to quit trying so hard. Many women shy away from a guy who seems to be in constant pursuit. You have to care, but not that much. Because of the female ego, she'll shy away from you if you're persistent, calling everyday...basically, showing you're interested. Most females tend to feel better about giving a run-around to a guy who does those things. But it's the guy who shows he doesn't give much of a **** whom they chase after relentlessly. Instead of trying as hard as you are, just become "too busy." But don't overdo it because she might eventually say "*******." Just enough for her to know that you care about the two of you dating/talking, but not enough to chase her. Stop calling her, stop texting, stop the facebook bullshit, etc. Make it appear as if you just lose interest.Then when or if she finally calls, tell her you've been taking care of business and haven't had time to call.

^^This.

I missed the pics, but if she's as hot as the other posters are suggesting then she's used to being pursued. You have to figure out how to differentiate from the other suave guys who are trying to find dating advice on a fashion-conscious forum. In other words, pull a George Costanza and do the exact opposite of your usual tuna on toast routine.

Call her Friday and say something came up - don't go into details - and say you'll call her later. Be vague. That should get in her head. She is probably not used to guys blowing her off, and it will throw her a curveball. She knows she can have you at this point - you reek of desperation, so it's really not worth her time to put much thought into you. But if she thinks you're just not that into her, she might try to figure out why and then when you call her after several days, she might be excited to hear from you, as opposed to just friendly.

Friendly = a handshake or a hug at the end of the night.

Excited = whatever you want it to be.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

Originally Posted by Church's Goer

Call her Friday and say something came up - don't go into details - and say you'll call her later. Be vague. That should get in her head. She is probably not used to guys blowing her off, and it will throw her a curveball.

I'm surprised it took this long for the obligatory "Ignore Her" strategy to get mentioned.

 

[mr.orange]

Originally Posted by tomgirl

Maybe she texted you about the beach thinking you either decided not to go, or because she didn't want it to be awkward if she ran into you. Maybe she also doesn't want things to be awkward at the gym, etc...and that's why she doesn't want to outright ignore you. Also, it's possible she likes your company and sees you as a non-threat (aka a friend). I dunno, that's just how I'd behave if that was the case for me.

+1 and not just cuz she's the only girl on SF

Originally Posted by Richard Pryor

Yeah, what a ******* disaster. I should be ashamed of myself. No skills whatsoever.

there there Richard, it'll all get better.

Look man, girls like a man who take initiative and know what they want. Those are Alpha Males qualities and a female can quickly recognize them. You're 31 and she's 28, the twoz of ya could get married, have kids, buy a house, and do all that stuff. Believe me...I want you to succeed. I've been here since the very beginning of this thread and I will see you through until the end. I'm only trying to help...that is why you should PM moar pics of this little latin babe.

best wishes,

mr.orange

 

[mr.orange]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

I'm surprised it took this long for the obligatory "Ignore Her" strategy to get mentioned.

It's very difficult to ignore a hot chick. You try it

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

I saw the pics. As a connoisseur of True Latina Beauty(TM), I have to say

. More of a girl-next-door look than a bombshell.

Am I the only one who thinks TS has a chance? Not much of chance unless he does a 180 from the way he's been acting, but still a chance. I don't think game playing is going to work here because TS is already on thin ice. Call her today to make concrete plans; Friday may be too late.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

Originally Posted by mr.orange

It's very difficult to ignore a hot chick. You try it

Well, there's a difference between purposefully ignoring a hot girl and genuinely being oblivious to her existence. The latter happens to me a lot as nothing really stands out to me these days but I do understand the difficulty your average male faces when confronted with an "attractive" woman.

 

[merkur]

..

 

[Runningman411]

Sounds like you're in the friendzone to me. Sure, you might get a drunken kiss or two at some point but I don't see a relationship in your future.

 

[Richard Pryor]

She said yes, but then backed out with the "not feeling so great" card. She should not have had other plans that kept her "busy until 2" after backing out on you.

Actually, she had work that day, but was able to leave early. That's why she was able to make it to the beach.

You might want to quit trying so hard. Many women shy away from a guy who seems to be in constant pursuit. You have to care, but not that much. Because of the female ego, she'll shy away from you if you're persistent, calling everyday.

That's what I've been trying to do. Here's the timeline:

5/20 - wrote her on FB asking some law stuff
5/21 - she wrote back saying she couldn't help. "Hey!!! How have you been? blah blah blah". One "!" would've sufficed. Three "!!!"? Maybe I'm crazy, but I analyze everything.
5/26 - I wrote back saying that I'd need a better excuse to invite her to lunch
5/26 - She wrote back "Great, find a better excuse to invite me to lunch (wink)"
6/07 - small talk via FB
6/07 - reply to my small talk
6/20 - saw her at the gym, but didn't have the balls to ask her out there (we talked for about 20 minutes). Wrote her on FB telling her we could go to the beach on Friday.
6/20 - "Sounds like a great idea (smiley)"

As you can see, I haven't pushed too hard and have tried to play things cool.

Call her Friday and say something came up - don't go into details - and say you'll call her later. Be vague. That should get in her head. She is probably not used to guys blowing her off, and it will throw her a curveball.

Normally, this is what I would do... but I did this before by waiting from 5/26 (when I mentioned I wanted to have lunch) until 6/20 when I finally asked her out. Also, she leaves soon, so my time is limited.

She knows she can have you at this point - you reek of desperation

I reek of desperation here on SF, because I've been completely honest with you guys. IRL, I've tried to do the opposite.

Look man, girls like a man who take initiative and know what they want. Those are Alpha Males qualities and a female can quickly recognize them.

That's what I'm trying to pull off here... the "I won't take no for an answer" attitude. I have two friends who married women that were not interested in them at first, but they kept insisting and ended up scoring.

Sounds like you're in the friendzone to me. Sure, you might get a drunken kiss or two at some point but I don't see a relationship in your future.

If I'm able to score a kiss, I'm completely in. I have no doubt about that. Problem is overcoming this initial shyness I always have.

BTW, I have this other chick lined up at the moment, who is very hot (not as hot as this girl, though) and very good in bed. But I don't give a **** about her, because she's head over heels for me.

Like I said, I can turn off the switch immediately, but this seems like a girl I could end up marrying, hence my interest in trying to make this work.

Thanks for the advice and keep it coming. And please, keep it classy!

 

[cioni2k]

WOW you're keeping a log of your contact with her...... dude you / this whole thread is really creepy. Sorry

 

[sho'nuff]

yeah.
op seems like a nice guy but if her or anybody she knows comes across this (or if i were her friend and saw this) , it would be strongly recommended to cease communication/any relationship with op

 

[unjung]

Originally Posted by sho'nuff

yeah.
op seems like a nice guy but if her or anybody she knows comes across this (or if i were her friend and saw this) , it would be strongly recommended to cease communication/any relationship with op

Pretty sure that applies if any woman ever finds any of our discussions on SF.

 

[Richard Pryor]

Originally Posted by cioni2k

WOW you're keeping a log of your contact with her...... dude you / this whole thread is really creepy. Sorry

You can track your messages in FB.

 

[corneliusparky]

Originally Posted by Richard Pryor

BTW, I have this other chick lined up at the moment, who is very hot (not as hot as this girl, though) and very good in bed. But I don't give a **** about her, because she's head over heels for me.
!

Then she sounds perfect for you...this girl is more of a challenge. Why would you want to be with anyone who actually really wanted to be with you? LOL

Good luck on winning her over.