Keeping old etiquette rules alive

[Mr Herbert]

can somoene explain the standing up for a woman when she arrives at the table? i understand when she arrives so you can greet her but not every time she gets up to go to the bathroom. is there an actual traditional reason for this lost to modernity?

this must be a cultural difference because i have never seen anyone do it. mind you i live in a country full of brutish miners.

 

[globetrotter]

^it's essentially an issue of respect - you don't want to be sitting talking to a standing woman.

 

[Cognacad]

Originally Posted by globetrotter

^it's essentially an issue of respect - you don't want to be sitting talking to a standing woman.

You talk to women as they walk away to go to the bathroom?

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by ma1

Chivalry is a stupid concept and unless you're dating golddiggers or 19 year olds with uggs it's ******* offensive.

isn't this the other way around? chivalry is a stupid concept if you're dating a gold digger or a 19 year old with uggs, right?

 

[Matt]

the car door one poses me with dilemmas. Yes, I always open the door...but then what? Traffic here is so insane that the cab drivers lock the other door, and even if they did not, you would not want to try to open it, you'd kill someone else and likely yourself. So...kerbside again: Option A: open door, which means she has to scooch over in her dress Option B: get in first myself, which involves some barging, but saves her the scooching. Oh iGents...what to do? (FWIW I already have an answer, but I'll put it to the board first)

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Matt

the car door one poses me with dilemmas. Yes, I always open the door...but then what? Traffic here is so insane that the cab drivers lock the other door, and even if they did not, you would not want to try to open it, you'd kill someone else and likely yourself.

So...kerbside again:

Option A: open door, which means she has to scooch over in her dress
Option B: get in first myself, which involves some barging, but saves her the scooching.

Oh iGents...what to do?

(FWIW I already have an answer, but I'll put it to the board first)

this is a ***** - really, the most helpful thing would be to get in first and slide over, but it seems better to let her in. no win.

 

[Stazy]

Stop using taxis and hire a chauffeur. Duh.

 

[Matt]

how would that solve the problem?

By virtue of where I live, hiring a full time chauffeur is not out of the question, and yes, he would hold the door for myself and whomever I was with. Then what? The traffic on the other side would still be insane, so there is no opening that door...so then, who gets in first? Lady scooch or Matt barge?

 

[L'Incandescent]

I instruct women in virtue every time the opportunity arises. I feel this is proper and meet, given that my masculine intellect can so clearly perceive the form of the good. (Women "think" with their emotions, which obscure the form of the good.) I have found that the women whom I instruct are typically ungrateful: they do not even say "thank you" or "thanks" or "thank you very much." But that is because they are imperfect in virtue (somewhat in the manner of children or cats). Which is why I never miss an opportunity to instruct them. (I mean because they are imperfect in virtue.)

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by Matt

how would that solve the problem?

By virtue of where I live, hiring a full time chauffeur is not out of the question, and yes, he would hold the door for myself and whomever I was with. Then what? The traffic on the other side would still be insane, so there is no opening that door...so then, who gets in first? Lady scooch or Matt barge?

I have chosen the route of scooting over, but I'm not thrilled with it.

 

[Stazy]

Originally Posted by Matt

how would that solve the problem?

By virtue of where I live, hiring a full time chauffeur is not out of the question, and yes, he would hold the door for myself and whomever I was with. Then what? The traffic on the other side would still be insane, so there is no opening that door...so then, who gets in first? Lady scooch or Matt barge?

It made perfect sense when I posted it. I'm not sure what I was thinking. lol

 

[Matt]

lol snarkfail

FWIW i have found 'rules of gentlemanliness' to be great conversation pieces with women...i open the door but don't move around behind it, kind of stay in the front. Then offer her the option of scooting over or me-go-first..."would you mind scooting over or do you want me to do it?"...abide by her command...then, once in the taxi, bring up the 'classic male dilemma story' - "i never know what to do with that should i make you scoot or go in first", and it can turn into an interesting little chat.

 

[pickpackpockpuck]

Hah. Yes, women rarely show gratitude when you point out what boorish clods they are, when really you're doing it for their benefit. Their capricious emotions are a haze obscuring the constant sun.

Originally Posted by L'Incandescent

I instruct women in virtue every time the opportunity arises. I feel this is proper and meet, given that my masculine intellect can so clearly perceive the form of the good. (Women "think" with their emotions, which obscure the form of the good.) I have found that the women whom I instruct are typically ungrateful: they do not even say "thank you" or "thanks" or "thank you very much." But that is because they are imperfect in virtue (somewhat in the manner of children or cats). Which is why I never miss an opportunity to instruct them. (I mean because they are imperfect in virtue.)

 

[fwiffo]

Originally Posted by Cognacad

You talk to women as they walk away to go to the bathroom?

I'm not a consistent practioner but a woman standing talking to me while sitting makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes it's also the height and outfit - I don't want to construed as talking to her chest.

 

[tomgirl]

I always kind of roll my eyes or insist that guys don't have to do things like open doors for me/walk on the curbside of the street, etc...and truthfully I don't notice when they don't, but I'll admit that it's certainly more endearing when a guy has knowledge of etiquette. The fact that he knows of tradtional gentlemanly customs is sweeter than the acts themselves, almost.