I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

[APK]

One thing you need to understand is that in most cases like this where the girl ends the relationship, is that you cannot get hung up on what once was. I've been in your shoes (and like I said, still am some days) where you think back to the cute things she did or said or the specific good times you shared. But that's all in the past, because by the time most girls end a relationship, they've already removed themselves emotionally from the relationship.

Even if you guys were on the same wavelength as far as personalities go, it's not likely going to be the same after the relationship is over. In my case, several people dubbed us "the perfect couple" that you couldn't replicate if you tried. But once that relationship was over, the free and easy flow of our conversations stopped. The cute talk stopped. She was still the same person to other people, but when talking to me, it was like talking to a stranger.

Guys have a rep for being emotionally absent when it comes to failed relationships, but that's actually not true. There was a study done recently that found young men are actually hit harder by a failed relationship than young women are. Girls are often the most invested person during the relationship, but once they've had enough, they check out emotionally and unless you're starring in some Hollywood fluff piece, all the cutesy things you can think of doing for her aren't going to change that.

 

[fuji]

Broke up with my gf on monday. Got really sad for a few days because I kept finding all her stuff in my room and facebook still recommends photos of her and I stupidly read all the messages she sent me in the past and ****. Then I started going to the gym a lot more and getting high again (she was against it so I quit) now all I care about is getting my clothes back from her and making her feel **** because I realised how absolutely great I was to her and how much of a ***** she was.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by APK

Guys have a rep for being emotionally absent when it comes to failed relationships, but that's actually not true. There was a study done recently that found young men are actually hit harder by a failed relationship than young women are. Girls are often the most invested person during the relationship, but once they've had enough, they check out emotionally and unless you're starring in some Hollywood fluff piece, all the cutesy things you can think of doing for her aren't going to change that.
Also, women connect with other women emotionally and that can lessens the emotional downsides of a breakup whereas guys usually go into seclusion. There are very few support groups where guys can talk about their past relationships whereas women can.

 

[APK]

Originally Posted by fuji

Broke up with my gf on monday. Got really sad for a few days because I kept finding all her stuff in my room and facebook still recommends photos of her and I stupidly read all the messages she sent me in the past and ****. Then I started going to the gym a lot more and getting high again (she was against it so I quit) now all I care about is getting my clothes back from her and making her feel **** because I realised how absolutely great I was to her and how much of a ***** she was.

No need to sink to her level. Living well is the best revenge and all that. She'll realize what she's lost if what you say is true.

mkarim - that's generally true, though not for me. I've been the guy looking to confide in my friends about what I'm feeling to the point where I have to pull myself back for analyzing everything to an extent where I feel like a Dawson's Creek character.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by APK

Living well is the best revenge and all that. She'll realize what she's lost if what you say is true.
Definitely!!! Golden words!

Originally Posted by APK

mkarim - that's generally true, though not for me. I've been the guy looking to confide in my friends about what I'm feeling to the point where I have to pull myself back for analyzing everything to an extent where I feel like a Dawson's Creek character.
I used to be like that too, but not so much anymore.

 

[fuji]

Originally Posted by APK

No need to sink to her level. Living well is the best revenge and all that. She'll realize what she's lost if what you say is true.

mkarim - that's generally true, though not for me. I've been the guy looking to confide in my friends about what I'm feeling to the point where I have to pull myself back for analyzing everything to an extent where I feel like a Dawson's Creek character.

Yeah, its pretty arrogant to say, but I really am. She's a severely depressed photography student living in a ****** village with very few friends because of how depressed she is and no job for the same reason so she never had any money and I had to pay for everything. Shes got a drinking problem, smokes too much and takes drugs very occasionally. Not that I don't, but I can afford too and don't do it by myself. I'm living in a nice city and Ill be going to university in London studying economics next year and I make plenty of money selling clothes and have people who care about me. I think I was only with her because she is very good looking, but she is miserable. Took her virginity though and I'm getting on her friend now so its all good though.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by fuji

She's a severely depressed photography student living in a ****** village with very few friends because of how depressed she is and no job for the same reason so she never had any money and I had to pay for everything. Shes got a drinking problem, smokes too much and takes drugs very occasionally. Not that I don't, but I can afford too and don't do it by myself. I'm living in a nice city and Ill be going to university in London studying economics next year and I make plenty of money selling clothes and have people who care about me.
In that case you are better off without her. She would have held you back.

 

[dtmt]

Been seeing this girl for a few years. Respective jobs relocate us to different cities. So we're doing the long distance thing, see each other every other month or so, we talk about moving somewhere else together, since neither of us like where we currently live. Usual pattern is that she calls me at least once a week, I never call her. About a month ago she suddenly stops calling. I call her a couple of weeks after that but no answer. So I guess it's over. Weird thing is that I feel absolutely nothing, I guess I could try harder to contact her to figure out what exactly happened, but I just can't bring myself to care enough.

 

[Alter]

Originally Posted by fuji

Yeah, its pretty arrogant to say, but I really am. She's a severely depressed photography student living in a ****** village with very few friends because of how depressed she is and no job for the same reason so she never had any money and I had to pay for everything. Shes got a drinking problem, smokes too much and takes drugs very occasionally. Not that I don't, but I can afford too and don't do it by myself. I'm living in a nice city and Ill be going to university in London studying economics next year and I make plenty of money selling clothes and have people who care about me. I think I was only with her because she is very good looking, but she is miserable. Took her virginity though and I'm getting on her friend now so its all good though.

Not sure why, but this line is quotable.

 

[hendrix]

Originally Posted by mkarim

Also, women connect with other women emotionally and that can lessens the emotional downsides of a breakup whereas guys usually go into seclusion. There are very few support groups where guys can talk about their past relationships whereas women can.

not for me. talking about it doesn't really help much though. The only thing that helps is getting a new girl, which is hard cos you're usually a bit desperate and low in self esteem if a girl just broke up with you.

Originally Posted by fuji

Yeah, its pretty arrogant to say, but I really am. She's a severely depressed photography student living in a ****** village with very few friends because of how depressed she is and no job for the same reason so she never had any money and I had to pay for everything. Shes got a drinking problem, smokes too much and takes drugs very occasionally. Not that I don't, but I can afford too and don't do it by myself. I'm living in a nice city and Ill be going to university in London studying economics next year and I make plenty of money selling clothes and have people who care about me. I think I was only with her because she is very good looking, but she is miserable. Took her virginity though and I'm getting on her friend now so its all good though.

you're sounding a bit bitter man, don't wish her any ill. You don't wanna be like this dude

 

[TACO_FLAVORED_KISSES]

Originally Posted by dtmt

Been seeing this girl for a few years. Respective jobs relocate us to different cities. So we're doing the long distance thing, see each other every other month or so, we talk about moving somewhere else together, since neither of us like where we currently live. Usual pattern is that she calls me at least once a week, I never call her. About a month ago she suddenly stops calling. I call her a couple of weeks after that but no answer. So I guess it's over. Weird thing is that I feel absolutely nothing, I guess I could try harder to contact her to figure out what exactly happened, but I just can't bring myself to care enough.

She sleeping around no doubt.

Oh Well!

 

[frenchy]

Originally Posted by Biscotti

My girlfriend broke up with me on Halloween; no real reason. I finally started eating again yesterday. I just don't get it the Thursday before was so ******* beautiful and passionate and now she will not even talk to me at all.

hate to breaking it to you the reason was probably another cock,happens to the best of us

 

[frenchy]

Originally Posted by dtmt

Been seeing this girl for a few years. Respective jobs relocate us to different cities. So we're doing the long distance thing, see each other every other month or so, we talk about moving somewhere else together, since neither of us like where we currently live. Usual pattern is that she calls me at least once a week, I never call her. About a month ago she suddenly stops calling. I call her a couple of weeks after that but no answer. So I guess it's over. Weird thing is that I feel absolutely nothing, I guess I could try harder to contact her to figure out what exactly happened, but I just can't bring myself to care enough.

have you considered the possibility shes dead?
unlikely,but maybe?

 

[Eason]

Originally Posted by frenchy

hate to breaking it to you the reason was probably another cock,happens to the best of us

Nah, probably only happens to the worst of us.

Originally Posted by frenchy

have you considered the possibility shes dead?
unlikely,but maybe?

Called once a week? I've heard of independence, but that's not even a relationship.

 

[origenesprit]

Originally Posted by dtmt

Been seeing this girl for a few years. Respective jobs relocate us to different cities. So we're doing the long distance thing, see each other every other month or so, we talk about moving somewhere else together, since neither of us like where we currently live. Usual pattern is that she calls me at least once a week, I never call her. About a month ago she suddenly stops calling. I call her a couple of weeks after that but no answer. So I guess it's over. Weird thing is that I feel absolutely nothing, I guess I could try harder to contact her to figure out what exactly happened, but I just can't bring myself to care enough.

Are you actually David Mitchell?