holla7577
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Warning: Long post below
I preface this by saying, I am not tight with my younger brother. He's extremely bright and extremely knowledgeable. For example, he studied for a month for the LSAT, and got in the 99th percentile and went to a top ten law school (I'll come back to this). He studied for a month on the GMAT and got into the 99th percentile as well. He's just one of those guys that can absorb material really well. He writes well and comes across always prepared for any topic you choose to discuss with him.
To be blunt, we don't have much in common. I can only deal with him in doses and I just get irritated and just need to leave the room. He simply doesn't have positive vibe. He comes across very arrogant. Almost every time you say something, he always needs to qualify it. Everything is an argument with him. For example, you could say, "I bought this jacket at XXXX Store for $150". He would answer back, "I could've gotten that for $20 less. Or, You could be walking down the road, and say, "I really like the Cadillac Escalade," and he would retort back saying, "I'd rather get a Yukon Denali because of this..." I could go on.... He's just socially unintelligent.
He went to a top 10 law school (Northwestern), finish in the top 40%, and could not get a job after a law school. Given that he's pretty high on himself, he only applied to top law firms which he didn't get into. Through a contact, my dad got him the job at a law firm in LA (this job was my brother's first paying job he's ever had). After 2 years of working at the law firm, he got laid off. He then went to get his MBA. Keep in mind, this whole time, my dad paid for his downtown Chicago condo, law school tuition, and mba tuition costs this whole time. After my brother got laid off from his law firm, my dad has paid the mortgage on my brother's Santa Monica condo.
I say all this stuff about him, but my brother is an honest and nice kid. But, he puts up this front as if he feels he needs to substantiate himself in the room with his intelligence. Plus, my parents always bail him out - whether be getting a law firm job, paying his mortgage, etc.
He really doesn't have any close friends. His so-called best friend is a family friend that we grew up with. My brother only sees him 6-7 times a year. Up until last year, he never had a girlfriend- in undergrad, graduate school (in Chicago, no less), and now in Los Angeles. He says he's dated people, but no one has ever seen any girl he's been with. He tried the Match.com and then tried Eharmony. About a year ago- On eHarmony, some girl sent him a message, they met and have been dating ever since.
About the girl -
She's from Virginia originally. Worked in Santa Barbara as a HR generalist. She was planning on moving back east before she met my brother online. After 4 months of dating, she quit her job in SB and moved down to LA and found a job in HR. She now lives 5 miles from my brother.
Appearance-wise, she doesn't really take care of herself. She's really skinny, doesn't do her hair (it smells like a carcass), bushy eyebrows, and has a weird body odor. I think tree hugger when I see her. Having said all that, you would think if she had a nice personality, any of her physical attributes would be forgotten. Um no. The first time I met her, she asked me one question about yoga since she's really into it. I answered that I do it on occasion. Silence. I asked her questions about her family and background, and she just gave one word or terse responses. She didn't seem interested. She just looked down and it was like birds chirping. She's seemed insecure and quiet, which doesn't make sense since she's in Human Resources. My wife went out of her way to befriend her, but the girlfriend just doesn't try or make any attempt. So, my wife doesn't like her. For the sake of time, my sister doesn't think much of her either. You would think you would make some effort when you meet your boyfriend's family.
My brother says she's changed him. He says she's calmed him down. He takes her everywhere and introduces her to family and friends. He literally parades her like a rag doll (pun intended). All this I get- first girlfriend and all. When I gather the opinions of friends and family about the girlfriend, the unanimous response is this: "She seems nice. I really couldn't get a pulse about her because your brother talked the whole time. But your brother seems to be really happy. But, regarding her physical appearance, I don't want to go there." I even get these responses from people who have met her three separate times, I might add. They never really are giving an opinion about the girl, but more are just happy that my brother is happy. They continue to say that there is no point telling my brother what they really think because my brother would never listen to them anyways.
My sister and brother have a better mutual relationship than I have with him. My sister lives in the same condo as him. She just helps pay the mortgage and has a room there. After 6 months of dating, my brother gave the girlfriend the key to the condo. So essentially, every night, the girlfriend would come to the condo and makes herself at home. After some weeks, my sister got fed up. My sister wrote a scathing e-mail about the girlfriend and sent it to my brother. The e-mail pretty much explains why this girl is not for him- she doesn't try or make any attempt to converse, she doesn't care, she's annoying, etc. What does my brother do? He shows the girlfriend the e-mail. In a sense, all the reasons why we (my brother and I) aren't close was validated by my brother's breach of trust with his own sister. He now has essentially favored some girl he met online over his own sister. My sister felt bad because there were really hurtful things in the e-mail, and now the girlfriend knows. To exascerbate things, my brother also mentioned to his girlfriend why my wife dislikes her. Needless to stay, the girlfriend isn't fond of my wife and sister. My parents are easy going, but even they say, "What can we do? It's his life"
So what's my opinion? The girlfriend was what I expected my brother to be with. Someone insecure, quiet, bland, no personality, not really attractive, and content being in my brother's shadow. I think the way my brother is showing her off does a disservice to the girlfriend as she clearly not prepared to meet our family and extended family so quickly. But, in the end, it's my brother's life and he can do whatever he wants.
I see the disappointment in my parent's face, my wife's face, and my sister's face, for they expected someone better for my brother. It's a sore topic of conversation amongst several family members and extended family as they clearly are not impressed with the girlfriend. But, at the end of the day, my brother won't listen. For me, I really don't care. But, I hear the groans and disappointment from nearly everyone else.
(if you are still awake) My question is - Do you do anything or just let him be?
I preface this by saying, I am not tight with my younger brother. He's extremely bright and extremely knowledgeable. For example, he studied for a month for the LSAT, and got in the 99th percentile and went to a top ten law school (I'll come back to this). He studied for a month on the GMAT and got into the 99th percentile as well. He's just one of those guys that can absorb material really well. He writes well and comes across always prepared for any topic you choose to discuss with him.
To be blunt, we don't have much in common. I can only deal with him in doses and I just get irritated and just need to leave the room. He simply doesn't have positive vibe. He comes across very arrogant. Almost every time you say something, he always needs to qualify it. Everything is an argument with him. For example, you could say, "I bought this jacket at XXXX Store for $150". He would answer back, "I could've gotten that for $20 less. Or, You could be walking down the road, and say, "I really like the Cadillac Escalade," and he would retort back saying, "I'd rather get a Yukon Denali because of this..." I could go on.... He's just socially unintelligent.
He went to a top 10 law school (Northwestern), finish in the top 40%, and could not get a job after a law school. Given that he's pretty high on himself, he only applied to top law firms which he didn't get into. Through a contact, my dad got him the job at a law firm in LA (this job was my brother's first paying job he's ever had). After 2 years of working at the law firm, he got laid off. He then went to get his MBA. Keep in mind, this whole time, my dad paid for his downtown Chicago condo, law school tuition, and mba tuition costs this whole time. After my brother got laid off from his law firm, my dad has paid the mortgage on my brother's Santa Monica condo.
I say all this stuff about him, but my brother is an honest and nice kid. But, he puts up this front as if he feels he needs to substantiate himself in the room with his intelligence. Plus, my parents always bail him out - whether be getting a law firm job, paying his mortgage, etc.
He really doesn't have any close friends. His so-called best friend is a family friend that we grew up with. My brother only sees him 6-7 times a year. Up until last year, he never had a girlfriend- in undergrad, graduate school (in Chicago, no less), and now in Los Angeles. He says he's dated people, but no one has ever seen any girl he's been with. He tried the Match.com and then tried Eharmony. About a year ago- On eHarmony, some girl sent him a message, they met and have been dating ever since.
About the girl -
She's from Virginia originally. Worked in Santa Barbara as a HR generalist. She was planning on moving back east before she met my brother online. After 4 months of dating, she quit her job in SB and moved down to LA and found a job in HR. She now lives 5 miles from my brother.
Appearance-wise, she doesn't really take care of herself. She's really skinny, doesn't do her hair (it smells like a carcass), bushy eyebrows, and has a weird body odor. I think tree hugger when I see her. Having said all that, you would think if she had a nice personality, any of her physical attributes would be forgotten. Um no. The first time I met her, she asked me one question about yoga since she's really into it. I answered that I do it on occasion. Silence. I asked her questions about her family and background, and she just gave one word or terse responses. She didn't seem interested. She just looked down and it was like birds chirping. She's seemed insecure and quiet, which doesn't make sense since she's in Human Resources. My wife went out of her way to befriend her, but the girlfriend just doesn't try or make any attempt. So, my wife doesn't like her. For the sake of time, my sister doesn't think much of her either. You would think you would make some effort when you meet your boyfriend's family.
My brother says she's changed him. He says she's calmed him down. He takes her everywhere and introduces her to family and friends. He literally parades her like a rag doll (pun intended). All this I get- first girlfriend and all. When I gather the opinions of friends and family about the girlfriend, the unanimous response is this: "She seems nice. I really couldn't get a pulse about her because your brother talked the whole time. But your brother seems to be really happy. But, regarding her physical appearance, I don't want to go there." I even get these responses from people who have met her three separate times, I might add. They never really are giving an opinion about the girl, but more are just happy that my brother is happy. They continue to say that there is no point telling my brother what they really think because my brother would never listen to them anyways.
My sister and brother have a better mutual relationship than I have with him. My sister lives in the same condo as him. She just helps pay the mortgage and has a room there. After 6 months of dating, my brother gave the girlfriend the key to the condo. So essentially, every night, the girlfriend would come to the condo and makes herself at home. After some weeks, my sister got fed up. My sister wrote a scathing e-mail about the girlfriend and sent it to my brother. The e-mail pretty much explains why this girl is not for him- she doesn't try or make any attempt to converse, she doesn't care, she's annoying, etc. What does my brother do? He shows the girlfriend the e-mail. In a sense, all the reasons why we (my brother and I) aren't close was validated by my brother's breach of trust with his own sister. He now has essentially favored some girl he met online over his own sister. My sister felt bad because there were really hurtful things in the e-mail, and now the girlfriend knows. To exascerbate things, my brother also mentioned to his girlfriend why my wife dislikes her. Needless to stay, the girlfriend isn't fond of my wife and sister. My parents are easy going, but even they say, "What can we do? It's his life"
So what's my opinion? The girlfriend was what I expected my brother to be with. Someone insecure, quiet, bland, no personality, not really attractive, and content being in my brother's shadow. I think the way my brother is showing her off does a disservice to the girlfriend as she clearly not prepared to meet our family and extended family so quickly. But, in the end, it's my brother's life and he can do whatever he wants.
I see the disappointment in my parent's face, my wife's face, and my sister's face, for they expected someone better for my brother. It's a sore topic of conversation amongst several family members and extended family as they clearly are not impressed with the girlfriend. But, at the end of the day, my brother won't listen. For me, I really don't care. But, I hear the groans and disappointment from nearly everyone else.
(if you are still awake) My question is - Do you do anything or just let him be?
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