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Business meeting pick-ups

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by why, Feb 6, 2009.

  1. randallr

    randallr Senior member

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    No Rach, he is obviously confused. He said he hasn't felt this way before about a man, like he wanted to actually be intimate with them. It's obvious.
     
  2. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    No Rach, he is obviously confused. He said he hasn't felt this way before about a man, like he wanted to actually be intimate with them. It's obvious.
    [​IMG]
     
  3. Connemara

    Connemara Senior member

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    All this talk of homosexual encounters it making me ill. You freaks should be in re-education camps!
     
  4. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    All this talk of homosexual encounters it making me ill. You freaks should be in re-education camps!
    Aren't you going to be late for your latest round of testosterone treatments? I'd hate to see you inadvertently put into the next batch of "Are these fake? NSFW."
     
  5. why

    why Senior member

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    No Rach, he is obviously confused. He said he hasn't felt this way before about a man, like he wanted to actually be intimate with them. It's obvious.
    Realistically I had a few drinks and kept editing and re-editing until I got tired and just posted it. [​IMG] I don't necessarily think I'm 'confused'. That word implies a lot about coming out and such which doesn't apply here. And it's not that I haven't 'felt this way before' (another clichÃ[​IMG]!) I just have certain rules and standards when it comes to dating that sometimes seem overly restrictive to myself. I know that the standards I've set and prohibitions I've made for myself are for the most part a way of keeping myself in check and putting what I consider more important matters first, but sometimes it's hard to rationalize them when I sit on the couch alone because I don't want to get re-involved with an ex or call someone who just never really seemed like a perfect fit. I still have plenty of time and I'm in no hurry, but sometimes I wonder if there really are people that do meet my standards and expectations. In terms of intimacy of the non-sexual type: I have a lot of friends that I get along with well and we have fun together and bullshit about different subjects and feel completely relaxed and at home with. All of them are non-sexual. The guy I mentioned was a catalyst for these thoughts moreso than an actual suitor so to speak.
     
  6. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    All kidding aside, I think styleforum has really turned me off with all these gay/alternative sex life confessions lately. Mods, if you're reading this, can we have a separate forum for these folks? I'm not interested in reading the details....at all.
    If you've simply neglected to include a smilie here, then nm.
    But if this is in earnest, why don't you shut the fuck up.
     
  7. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    there's so much wiggle room as it pertains to sexuality, assuming someone's gay (especially someone with whom you are involved with in any marginally professional way) sounds dangerous.
     
  8. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Realistically I had a few drinks and kept editing and re-editing until I got tired and just posted it. [​IMG] I don't necessarily think I'm 'confused'. That word implies a lot about coming out and such which doesn't apply here. And it's not that I haven't 'felt this way before' (another clichÃ[​IMG]!) I just have certain rules and standards when it comes to dating that sometimes seem overly restrictive to myself. I know that the standards I've set and prohibitions I've made for myself are for the most part a way of keeping myself in check and putting what I consider more important matters first, but sometimes it's hard to rationalize them when I sit on the couch alone because I don't want to get re-involved with an ex or call someone who just never really seemed like a perfect fit. I still have plenty of time and I'm in no hurry, but sometimes I wonder if there really are people that do meet my standards and expectations. In terms of intimacy of the non-sexual type: I have a lot of friends that I get along with well and we have fun together and bullshit about different subjects and feel completely relaxed and at home with. The guy I mentioned was a catalyst for these thoughts moreso than an actual suitor so to speak.
    Exactly. Your situation is not entirely different from mine. It's not that our standards are too high or that you are "confused," it's instead that we are dissatisfied with the "community" out there and what it seems to value, what it suggests, and what it seems to 'require" as admittance. Personally, I like men, but I don't want to sit at a club with guys who are like, "And OMG Dolce Gabbana is SO ugly this season. And WHY is Madonna hanging out with them. UGH!" At the same time, I don't particularly want to go "hunting" and hook up with some random guy I don't know and who probably isn't worth my time. The problem is one overall of finding a "place" within a social discourse that has very little to do with our attractions. It was/is a reactionary discourse that, for me, often leaves me feeling completely out-of-place and unsure where else to go. Do I keep being "picky" and, as such, sitting alone and watching "Howard's End" with a tub of ice cream? OR, do I "adopt" the affectations and become a part of that community. No way. In short, really how do men "go about" actually having a relationship with each other that isn't affected, isn't reactionary, or isn't a parallel/mirror image of straight relationships, only that it is between men? Have you ever read the short interview with Foucault called "Friendship as a Way of Life?" It sets out very briefly the idea of same-sex relationships that are formed in and of themselves, without being just reactions or stereotypes. Short answer is that your standards aren't too high; it's that your standards (and mine and lots of other guys) just don't have a "place" in the conceptual make up of society that hasn't really had time to include them in its rules of formation.
     
  9. Eason

    Eason Senior member

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    I like Why more and more.
     
  10. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Senior member

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    ^because you're also sexually questionable?
     
  11. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    ^because you're also sexually questionable?

    I think every ghey on the forum is hoping this is the case. [​IMG]

    And we're ALL here to help him through his transition.
     
  12. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    ^because you're also sexually questionable?

    People keep taking my jokes these days. Was gonna post something very similar. [​IMG]
     
  13. Etienne

    Etienne Senior member

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    In short, really how do men "go about" actually having a relationship with each other that isn't affected, isn't reactionary, or isn't a parallel/mirror image of straight relationships, only that it is between men?
    Straight relationships are so varied that if you try and shun everything that is a mirror image of straight relationships, you don't have many possibilities left.
     
  14. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Straight relationships are so varied that if you try and shun everything that is a mirror image of straight relationships, you don't have many possibilities left.

    Agreed, but they can't SIMPLY be that mirror. They need to take into account what makes them unique, what works for them, and create their own rules of formation rather than just try to adopt in one motion relationships that weren't created/formed/conceptualized "for them."
     
  15. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    re: mafoofan jr.
    If you've simply neglected to include a smilie here, then nm.
    But if this is in earnest, why don't you shut the fuck up.


    + fucking 1!

    I like Why more and more.

    +1 again.

    Why: I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say that the high bar in question is really "no-BS", which is a hellish standard for most people, particularly in terms of initial encounters. How much you choose to tolerate it or try and wean people off their facades is really up to you.
     
  16. Etienne

    Etienne Senior member

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    They need to take into account what makes them unique, what works for them, and create their own rules of formation rather than just try to adopt in one motion relationships that weren't created/formed/conceptualized "for them."
    I don't really know what you mean. How is that different from any relationship, straight or not? Apart from traditional marriage, I don't see what "rules" there are to avoid actually.
     
  17. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I don't really know what you mean. How is that different from any relationship, straight or not? Apart from traditional marriage, I don't see what "rules" there are to avoid actually.
    I just mean that the way in which we can conceptualize or think of relationships in general... gay, straight, or anything else... are not neutral and not based simply on your own individual "feelings." Currently, the model of "normalcy" for relationships has been a heterosexual one with homosexuality as the "non-normal" subset in that, the deviation from the norm. Gay relationships have largely been formed, conceptually, as a reactionary type of relationship rather than from an even-handed, honest feeling that such a relationship might be beneficial and positive in its own right. I'm saying that we are seeing now a changing of how men view themselves and their relationships with other men. Gays are starting to become mainstream enough that they aren't reactionary, they aren't granted simply "deviant" status. Nevertheless, we aren't there yet and so many of us feel confused about the TYPE of relationships that are open to us. I just feel that we aren't yet in a position, at least in most places in the USA, to know what a real "way of life" for gays would be like. That "way of life" won't be like what straights have, though it might share some similar facets. Nevertheless, it will or has to exist on its own. And, I can tell you that it probably won't be about shiny lip gloss, pink Hollister tees, and Musical renditions of "Miss Saigon."
     
  18. Etienne

    Etienne Senior member

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    I just mean that the way in which we can conceptualize or think of relationships in general... gay, straight, or anything else... are not neutral and not based simply on your own individual "feelings."
    I like to think that this is not the case, or ought not ot be. Somewhat naive, I guess.

    My current relationship is a straight open relationship. Is this in any way influenced by a heterocentric model of normalcy? I like to think it isn't.

    I think you think too much. I don't know why the fact that gays (and straights, and bi, and so on) can have individual relationships based on what works for the individuals concerned does not have to rely on a conceptualization such as the one you describe.

    What? Then I don't want anything to do with it!
     
  19. rach2jlc

    rach2jlc Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I like to think that this is not the case, or ought not ot be. Somewhat naive, I guess.

    My current relationship is a straight open relationship. Is this in any way influenced by a heterocentric model of normalcy? I like to think it isn't.

    I think you think too much.


    TouchÃ[​IMG]. Admittedly I over think EVERYTHING (haha) and everybody tells me that.

    My suspicion, though, about "heterocentric models of normalcy" is that, at least in many parts of the USA, they are ingrained in everything that is our culture. I subscribe to Sociocultural models of learning, which basically say that everything we "are" and think is socialized. As such, the way in which we can even "think" of ourselves is conditioned by the discourse in which we are enmeshed.

    Growing up where I did, sadly my conceptual make up of reality is a certain way and it's taken me many years to try and undo it.

    I wonder if France is different? Japan, for example, most certainly is. It was a very unique and interesting experience to see how things fundamentally are different from "the ground up" in the way identities are formed.
     
  20. Eason

    Eason Senior member

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    ^because you're also sexually questionable?

    I have my moments, but the guy would have to be either THUPER butch, or THUPER fay, there could be no middle ground.
     

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