Being well dressed and mannered when family isn't as much

[ProfessorShak]

Originally Posted by apropos

What culture/ethnicity does you/your family come from?

Ever heard of Bukharian Jews? A small community from Uzbekistan.

 

[celery]

So, you're basically Borat, but you say please and hold doors open.

 

[ProfessorShak]

Originally Posted by celery

So, you're basically Borat, but you say please and hold doors open.

WOW I forgot about that movie. Borat is an overexaggeration but something VERY much like that.

 

[apropos]

Originally Posted by celery

So, you're basically Borat, but you say please and hold doors open.

 

[taxgenius]

Originally Posted by ProfessorShak

Ever heard of Bukharian Jews? A small community from Uzbekistan.

I've seen many Bukharian Jews in Brooklyn; didn't realize their community was small, but I guess it's all relative.

 

[ProfessorShak]

Originally Posted by taxgenius69

I've seen many Bukharian Jews in Brooklyn; didn't realize their community was small, but I guess it's all relative.

There are a few in Bklyn but the majority occupy Forest Hills and Rego Park here in Queens. There are a few famous ones. Jacob the jeweler is bukharian, as many jewelers are. It's still a relatively small community who tend to stay close to each other.

 

[Eason]

Originally Posted by BillyMaysHere!

In This Thread: Pretentious, vacant and arrogant young newbs demonstrating how out of place they are inside AND outside of the internet, society and life in general.

Astute.

 

[vincerich]

Originally Posted by ProfessorShak

A previous thread discussed dressing well even outside of work. While discussing that with my wife another issue came out that touches on something deeper, a display status.

To me, regardless of how much money you have or what you're background is, being appropriatley dressed and well mannered is inexcuseable. Clothes should fit and flatter you and you can still express your unique personallity. You shouldn't lower your standards just to fit in and that includes behavior.

Not to get into details but my family sees me as a bit pretentious by the way I act and dress. Even wearing a sport jacket and jeans is considered "dressed up" I was raised in NYC and learned a lot while working at prestigious country clubs and dining halls. My cultural background isn't quite the same, and while I love them they act and dress somewhat primative. Me behaving and dressing the way I do apparantly insults them and their ways, making it seem as if I'm better than them, which isn't my intention.

So what does one do when it seems that the community you're brought up in doesn't fit with your personality. I know there is plenty of this going around but I personally don't know many who could guide me in this.



Being APPROPRIATELY dressed and WELL-mannered is inexcuseable? I wonder what your wife would think about that statement.

 

[Kentishman]

Originally Posted by bowtielover

For me I had to change churches to find a better dressing one

Originally Posted by haganah

Christ would truly be proud.

Love they neighbour...

...but make sure you dress better than him.

 

[vincerich]

People generally don't become insulted unless there's a perceived attack directed towards them. Your style of dress may be different from your family's but I doubt they would become upset because of it. At the most, they'd probably make a sly comment or kind-hearted joke about you when you were around. My gut tells me that you DO give them reasons to be insulted, even though you argue otherwise. You seem to have a "better-than-you" attitude that stems from your desire to be a part of the "prestigious country club" lifestyle. It's very telling that, of all of the words available, "primative" was the word that you chose to describe your family....telling indeed.

Just as failing to dress for the occasion is a fashion "no-no," viewing your style of dress as license to be rude and to feel superior to others is also a mistake. I'd be willing to bet that the styleforum community could find more than a few misses in your wardrobe. Get a clue.

 

[lasbar]

Originally Posted by Kentishman

Love they neighbour...

...but make sure you dress better than him.

Kentishman , we're living in a Godless country according to my wife's Irish cousins...

I love the way some people over the pond mix pure consumerism/capitalism and spirituality...

Rich , Camel , needle thread ....

 

[Kentishman]

True, we're all satan's sluts these days.

 

[lasbar]

Originally Posted by Kentishman

True, we're all satan's sluts these days.

I know...I have been called a bad catholic more than once...

 

[ProfessorShak]

Describing them as "primative" wasn't done by me, but I agreed to with that observation. And my wife agrees as well but her response is more of "what can you do" though at times she tends to fall back. Her deal is where our community doesn't care that much, I'm the opposite and pay too much attention to these small things. Being OCD I have to agree with her which is why I don't say anything. Again people here making judgements need to understand that my community can be highly judgemental even when you do nothing wrong. I was glad to hear I wasn't the only one within the community who felt that way.

 

[RSS]

Originally Posted by voxsartoria

You make a convincing case.

I will come back later, too, after I've caught up on my Tweed in the City.

Is that anything like Sex and the City?

As for the thread ... I don't think my contribution will be helpful. In my parents house ... we almost always wore a suit to dinner. My father (my mother is now my late mother) thinks I'm too casual beause I allow sport coats at my dinner table.